Warning Signs Of Guilt Tripping In A Relationship

By Sophie 8 months ago

Whining If They Don't Get Their Way

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A partner may guilt trip you in a relationship if they don't get what they want, and they will make it known how disappointed they are. Someone inclined to this kind of behavior will resort to childish whining to make you feel bad, instead of speaking to you about why they're unhappy. Don't be fooled!

Making You Feel Bad About Seeing Friends

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Quite often a person of this caliber will require all of your attention, so if it is directed elsewhere they feel left out. It is likely that they'll try and make you feel bad about seeing our friends so that you'll choose them over your buddies. You should never feel guilty about hanging out with pals so try not to let this affect your social life.

Acting Upset Over Nothing

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One way of making you feel guilty is to act upset, even when there's nothing to be upset over. They probably won't even tell you what is making them sad; they'll expect you to work it out for yourself, and you'll be in even more trouble if you never manage to get to the bottom of it!

Giving You The Silent Treatment

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Guilt trippers aren't always honest about their feelings; they may not even understand them themselves. They'll put you down in a number of different ways, and expect you to go chasing after them. By giving you the silent treatment they are punishing you for who knows what, and willing you to make all the effort to win them back.

Telling Their Friends You Wronged Them

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In an effort to make you feel terrible, they will enlist their friends into the battle. They will gossip to them about how they have been wronged by you, and expect validation in return. Hopefully these friends will come to see their true colors, as those who are intent on guilt tripping can't usually get away with it for long.

They'll Ask You If Upsetting Them Is Your Intention

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A huge red flag is when the turn whatever situation is happening, around so that you see yourself as the bad guy. If you want to be in a relationship with this person, there's really only one answer to this question, and by asking it's almost as though they want to trip you up.

Being Passive Aggressive

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Openness is not a quality in a person who regularly guilt trips their partner, and passive aggression is their usual communication method. They'll use this tactic to make you question your actions and understand that they're in a mood indirectly. They'll want you to crawl back to them, more sorry than ever!

Closed Communication

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If a partner had an issue with you that they wanted to resolve, then the most efficient way to do so would be to speak directly about it. If they wanted to make you feel guilty however, then they'd use any trick in the book to put you down without actually telling you why. Closed communication is so unhealthy in a relationship and is absolutely something you'd need to address.

Throwing A Fit

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Making a scene is a sure fire way to making you feel bad; they can even blame the outburst on you. Try not to enable this behavior as everyone is responsible for their own reactions. Whatever you did or didn't do deserves to be met with mature conversation, not childish tantrums.


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If a partner is feeling hard done by in a relationship, then they may overreact at any given thing which can force you to change behavior or change your plans. They may feel that this is the only way to get what they want and if it works, then they'll just keep doing it.

Making You Apologize With Gestures

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If a relationship is this toxic, then your partner may guilt trip you into buying them gifts, taking them out or giving them a massage. They'll treat you like you've done something bad and need to make up for it somehow. This is just a way to force you into things and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Making You Feel Like A Bad Person

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If you feel like all you've been is a good partner to your spouse, then being made to feel like a bad one is just another form of guilt-tripping. If a person is down then they are likely to go the extra mile to care for their partner, which is exactly where they want you.

Acting Like They're Abused

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Someone who guilt trips you wants you to feel terrible about something you may or may not have done so that they get something from you; whether that's sympathy or material things. If they act as though they're abused then you'll be in a constant state of doubt where you feel you have to be extra nice to them so as not to fuel accusations.

Moaning About Their Life With You

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It's always a bad sign when someone is pessimistic about spending time with you, however it isn't an indication that that's how they truly feel. They may be doing it just to get a reaction from you; if you're feeling guilty about ruining someone's life then you may make more of an effort to make it better.


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Sarcasm is a form of indirect speech used to get a typically negative point across. Unless used jovially, it can come across as quite nasty. However, as it is not overtly cruel then the person can deny they meant anything by it, which is sure to make you feel even worse.

Putting You Down

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If you feel rubbish about yourself then you're at risk of feeling unworthy of love. When you feel unworthy you'll settle for someone treating you badly, and work harder to be a good partner. If someone is constantly grinding you down then you're bound to feel guilty about yourself. You'll feel lucky to be in a relationship, no matter how toxic it is.

Explaining How They Contribute More Than You

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One way of guilt tripping is to make the other person feel as though they contribute nothing, while the manipulator is contributing everything. This isn't always the case however they have a good way of making you believe it. It's difficult to think clearly when you're being gaslit so it's important to speak to loved ones if you feel you're being exploited.

Reminding You Of That Thing You Did

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We all make mistakes, we wouldn't be human if that weren't the case, however someone who has a tendency to guilt trip will use these mistakes against their partner for years and years to come. These kinds of relationships are not worth the effort as you'd never have an apology accepted. You will always live in the pain of past mistakes.

Comparing You To Others

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Even if they've been treated badly in the past, if someone wants to make you feel guilty then you'll always be the worst partner they've ever had. It's important not to take these comments to heart as it is nothing personal, it's just that they want to make you feel bad for their own personal gain or satisfaction.

Refusing To Find A Resolution

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It may feel like you're on a hamster wheel if you're with someone who only wants to make you feel bad, as they'll only ever come to resolutions if it means you're in the wrong. They'll never resolve things amicably where you can both either accept responsibility or look towards the future. They will probably just sulk until you're sorry.

Moping Around

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Someone who likes to guilt trip will want you to feel sorry for them. They'll walk around with a sad look on their face, probably hunched over and skulking. It's hard to get through to them when they're in this mood, and they hate it if you don't notice. It's best to just leave them to it.

Telling You You're Not There For Them

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They may genuinely feel as though you don't support them, but that's only because they refuse to accept your help. Because of this, they will blame you for not giving them what they want, making you feel like a lousy partner. Unfortunately people like this don't take responsibility for their own feelings so it's impossible to be what they need.

Threatening To Leave

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When someone you love threatens to leave you it can be a terrifying prospect, so hearing it over and over again can be really demoralizing. This is a technique used by people who guilt trip others as they want to instill fear in order to feel wanted. It's super manipulative and no one deserves to be treated like a lapdog.

Making Ultimatums

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Ultimatums are made when a person seriously cannot live with the thing they're asking their spouse to choose between. It may make sense to ask a partner to eliminate some things from your lives, however if a person is manipulative then they may ask you to choose between impossible things. If you obey, then you may be guilt-tripped into choosing the thing they wanted you to all along.

Refusing To Hug Or Kiss You

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If your partner refuses to show you love then they're probably in a bad mood. They want you to know that they're angry with you by denying any care in order to make you feel awful. They'll probably get some satisfaction out of you almost begging for their affection so try not to give in.

Acting Like Nobody Likes Them

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In order to make you feel sorry for them, a partner may sound off about how nobody likes them. They may discuss specific people and appear upset that no-one cares, however this may just be a way to get you to compliment them and pay them attention. Expect these conversations when you've made plans without them; they won't want you to go.

Refusing To Acknowledge Their Own Behavior

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If someone is guilt tripping you then you can bet your bottom dollar that they'll deny it. No matter how much you try to make them feel better, or to ask them what's wrong, they'll refuse to admit that they're acting anything other than normal. It's rather childish to withhold an open conversation in a relationship and it's an indicator that it won't last!

Their Actions Reveal Their Mood

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A person trying to guilt trip you will use not only their words, but their body and surroundings also. They'll making whining noises, slam doors, and maybe even throw things. Their presence will drain any positivity from the air and is best to be avoided!

Saying Things To Make You Feel Guilty

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If someone is guilt tripping you then they'll say things to make you feel sorry for them. You may do so at first, but your patience will wear thin the more they play on it. The things they say may differ in severity, but it's all a rouse to get your attention.

Acting Like You Owe Them Something

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They may feel as though they're the only ones making an effort in the relationship, and that you owe them for what they offer. Usually, a person who guilt trips has a delusional view of what they provide for a relationship and are more open to taking. This makes for an unequal relationship that certainly isn't healthy.