Top 10 Psychological Flirting Strategies Used By All Men
By Nick Hadji
1 year ago
1. Eye Contact
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Let's kick start with a well known strategy, eye contact! You may not want to be met with a staring contest, but men may hold eye contact for up to four and a half seconds! Less flirtatious staring may only last up to three seconds. Be careful, although long stares can confirm interest, they can also come across a little bit creepy if held too long! If you're lucky enough to see their pupils dilate (widen), they might be into you too!
Original content sourced from Femanin.com2. Smiling... Good or Bad?
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Eye contact is a great way to flirt, but smiling is a lot easier to do and a lot less intense! In fact, smiling can make you more attractive and is understood by both men and women worldwide as a way of expressing positive emotion. Fear not if a man is brooding, or looking serious. Men also use this psychological flirting method to give off a bad boy or rebellious charm, which can be more appealing to women!
3. Letting You In On Secrets!
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In an intimate setting, men will share secrets to show vulnerability and open up about their personal life. This can lead to the person on the receiving end sharing too, leading to feelings of trust. It may not just be personal information, they may even reveal gossip or information that seems sensitive to win you over! So next time you hear a man telling you about his mom's secret cake recipe, think twice!
4. Wear Red
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Okay this one may sound a little confusing... not all men will know they are using this strategy, but subconsciously or consciously it works! Wearing red for both men or women can help display sexual attractiveness over wearing any other color of clothing. Evolution is to blame for this! Throughout society, the color red is associated with romance and sex! This is why you may be lucky enough to see a lot of red on valentines day!
5. Demonstrating Self Worth
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Men will want to sell themselves by demonstrating what they can bring to the table. However, men that know when to walk away from a relationship or dates when someone isn't showing interest will be seen as more attractive. Women value self-respect in both themselves and men. Males may have started to work out that coming across as desperate or obsessive isn't the way to go!
6. Breaking The Contact Barrier
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If done in the right way, gently touching someone in a non-sexual way can help break the 'contact barrier'. Some studies have shown that women in nightclubs are more likely to comply or show interest in a man's desire when it is accompanied by a friendly touch. You may be thinking that this isn't psychological? Well, breaking the touch barrier can make the recipient feel safer and more trusting!
7. Asking For Small Favors
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Men won't be asking you to go and mow their lawn or clean their house when they use this flirting strategy, but they may ask for something simple. It could be something as simple as passing salt & pepper across the table. Once you perform one task for someone, you are more likely to do something slightly bigger for them next time as you believe you like them for carrying out the first task. This is called the Benjamin Franklin effect, a subtle technique that more experienced flirts may use.
8. Laughter!
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There is a reason why comedians are successful in their careers and their romantic life! Several studies have shown that interpersonal attraction and humour are closely linked. According to theoretical psychology, women use laughter as a sign of submissive behaviour. Therefore, laughing is an admittance of interest to the person they are laughing with. So it may just be one of the best flirting techniques out there!
9. Having Similar Interests
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Much like having the same humour, having similar interests or hobbies can spark attraction. Men will therefore speak in greater detail about things they know they may have in common with you. This could be sports, music or even family members. Although this flirting strategy may work at the start, it is important to not over exaggerate too much! You don't want to be pretending that you're into gardening just because you thought you'd like a common interest on the first date!
10. Playing Hard To Get
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Now, we aren't encouraging anyone to get lots of tattoos and pretend to be a bad boy. However, being mysterious and occasionally unavailable is a technique used by both men and women to leave the other wanting more. This could involve anything from replying to texts a few hours after receiving them to turning down dates until they're at a time you prefer. Then again, don't over do it as it may end up in your potential partner thinking that you aren't interested at all!
11. Does Asking Questions Work?
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No one wants to be sat a date, waiting to speak for the first time in five minutes. Men will ask women lots of questions to help build openness and closeness with a potential partner. Not asking any questions can also come across as arrogant and self involved, traits that most women won't find attractive. It's important to remember what they say though! Repeating questions is the best way for a man to undo all their hard work.
12. Mirroring
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This doesn't mean putting more mirrors in your house for men to attract women! Mirroring or the Gauchais reaction involves mirroring behaviour, body language or verbal qualities. It is usually a subconscious flirting method used by men to help demonstrate good communication skills. It can also help show your interest and common attributes, something that women appreciate being reciprocated. This doesn't mean they have to do everything at the same, so don't worry if they don't have the same timing as Beyonce backup dancers!
13. Showing Their Passion
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We've all been there, sat listening to someone drone on about a topic you couldn't care less about. Being passionate about things you talk about makes them seem more interesting straight away. Men will talk in different pitch and tone in their voice to demonstrate their passion, doing so is considered to be an attractive quality. Passion in certain topics may also demonstrate how passionate they can be elsewhere too...
14. Posture
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When men are flirting successfully, they tend do have good posture while doing so. Slouching or the folding of arms can accidentally insinuate that you are mentally or physically closed off from the conversation. So if a man is sat up straight, with hips upper chest leant over towards you, you may have a flirt on your hands! Although body language is physical, the psychological effect on the recipient can make them feel appreciated and trusted.
15. Hot Or Cold Drinks?
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Have you ever been out on a date and let them surprise you with some food or drink? If they're aware of the psychology, men will buy you a hot drink over a cold drink! This can help them build a better image of themselves as hot drinks tend to show kindness and generosity according to some papers. They even reported that you're more likely to carry out an act of kindness if you're holding something warm!
16. Tilting Your Head
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We have already discovered that leaning towards your romantic interest shows intent. In addition to this, direction of a man's head tilt may give something away too. If a man is tilting his head to the side, it shows interest and reassures the speaker of this. On the other hand, if he is tilting his head directly towards you, this may signal signs of distrust! Try not to think of a puppy asking for a walk next time you see a man tilting his head though!
17. Confidence Is Key
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When it comes to flirting, confidence is seen by both men and women as more important than physical appearance. When women see a confident man, it can bring out more confidence in themselves. This confidence can also inspire security and therefore willing to take risk with or for the man. Even though confidence is key, over doing it can lead to people having thoughts of arrogance, it's a thin tightrope!
18. Compliments
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It may seem like one of the most obvious ways to flirt, but compliments may be more difficult for men than some of the other strategies used. Most men will compliment but the best flirts will pick out something that stands out to them, then comment on their appreciation for it. Thoughtful compliments like this will make you feel special and go a long way!
19. Deeper Conversation
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Compliments, body language and eye contact can all be very flirtatious, but what happens when you get past the initial stages of meeting someone? Men will start opening up about things you can both talk about, such as views on current goings on in the world will encourage more openness and honesty. Men will also circle back to what you may have previously said to make you feel appreciated and listened to.
20. Teasing
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Teasing or light hearted flirty banter is a great way of combining compliments, humour and playing hard to get. Men will tease to build trust and also help relax potentially awkward situations. Flirty banter shows that a man is willing to drop his barriers and opens women up to doing the same. As long as they don't bring up sensitive topics, it's fun for both people. Would this strategy work on you?
21. Use Of Your Name
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We've all been there, you're at a party or gathering and someone you have met before completely forgets your name and you feel slightly knocked and irrelevant. That is why using someone's name in casual conversation can make them feel included and recognised. It is important that men don't repeat your name too much though, otherwise it feels too deliberate and like they are trying not to forget your name!
22. Offering Help Or Support
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Men will often offer with carrying bags or going out of their way to help out when they are being flirtatious. It shows they are willing to dedicate time and effort for the person they are interested in, demonstrating kindness and consideration. Lots of small acts can build up into one great image! Of course you have to be careful, there is a line where you cannot insult someone's independence! But it's always nice to have someone chip in every once in a while!
23. Praise
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Compliments don't have to be as simple as what they look like or something you're wearing. Men will compliment parts of your personality or intelligence to show that they value more than just superficial things. For example "Wow, I didn't think of that, you have such an interesting perspective", would show value without sounding condescending. Do you prefer compliments about your personality or your looks?
24. Create Inside Jokes
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Inside jokes are typically between two people that are close. Some men may bring up times when it was just the two of you in front of other people to demonstrate the closeness of your nature. If they use them at the right time, they can create a knock on of funny moments. It's good to have those funny moments to bring more chuckles out later on!
25. The Peak-End Rule
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Have you ever been sat after watching America's got talent and tried to remember some of the singers? Usually people remember an act right in the middle or the last one. Men will use the peak-end rule in a similar way. Making a good finishing impression will leave dates thinking that they had a good time, potentially altering what they might have thought up until that point too!
26. Establishing Trust
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Being able to rely on someone is a quality we look for in friends, family and partners. Men will look to carry out small tasks and to reinforce the idea that they are reliable in other parts of life too. Proving that they can follow through with commitment will suggests they will do the same romantically. Although I'm not sure you should commit to anyone for doing your dishes a few times!
27. Social Proof
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When an celebrity posts a picture of a product or item of clothing they like, you best know that there will be millions of people out there wanting to or buying it too. This is an example of social proof. Men will do something similar when flirting, this might look like surrounding themselves with friends or playing darts or pool to encourage potential partners to come and join in. Men using the fear of missing out!
28. The Halo Effect
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A lot of people like to focus on the good qualities of other people and try to dismiss other less desirable qualities. The halo effect is similar, when men speak about certain qualities about themselves, they will focus on something that is relatable and appealing. An example of this may be attractiveness, have you ever seen someone so beautiful that you started thinking that they couldn't possibly be a bad person?
29. Being A Bystander
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There are definitely some situations where intimate conversations are inappropriate, like in a queue to the bathroom. However, there is a good chance men will try and take you off for sneaky one to one conversations. Doing so can encourage more intimate chats that will help create trust and openness, which are difficult to achieve in large group situations.
30. Be Yourself
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People are very good at seeing through lies and deceit, especially when you spend more and more time with them. This is why the best technique for men to flirt is by being themselves, showing sincerity and their true personality is much more attractive to women than pretending to be someone they're not. How many times have you been on the receiving end of one of these flirting strategies?
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