Things You Are Doing That Are Slowly Destroying Your Relationships

By Nick Hadji 10 months ago

1. Lack of communication

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One of the most common relationship mistakes that people make is the failure to communicate their feelings and needs. You can't expect your partner to read your mind! Failure to communicate can lead to resentment, blame or worsen feelings of insecurity.Original content sourced from

2. Dishonesty

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Whether it's a big lie, or little fibs now and then, this can negatively impact your relationships and create a wedge between you. Trust is easy to break and very hard to rebuild. How do you expect them to have faith in you when you're constantly giving them a reason not to?

3. Lack of trust

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Leading on from this, if your relationship is lacking in trust, it's more likely to fail in the long run. When you don't trust your partner, you're going to feel more anxious, jealous and insecure. All traits which can wreak havoc on your relationship.

4. Disrespect

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If you're the type of person who constantly disrespects your partner, then you need to take a look in the mirror. Doing this has the potential to really damage their self-esteem and you're in danger of crossing the line of emotional abuse. You should always want your partner to be happy and confident!

5. Being unfaithful

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Possibly the most obvious way to destroy your relationship would be being unfaithful to your partner. Cheating on a person can have a huge mental impact, potentially leading to inability to trust you again, questioning their own self-worth or even depression.

6. Controlling behavior

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When you are in a relationship, you should respect and trust that person enough to allow them to be themselves and make their own decisions. Nobody wants to feel like they are being controlled and eventually, they are likely to walk away from this behavior.

7. Jealousy

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Jealousy can be toxic to relationships and create issues on both sides. The person with the jealousy problem is going to feel anxious, angry and out of control. Whilst the receiving partner is going to become frustrated and resentful that they are being scrutinised and not trusted.

8. Narcissism

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Narcissistic people tend to act in ways that are going to benefit them. If this means invalidating other people's feelings and needs, they are absolutely going to do that. This kind of person is usually manipulative and will almost always destroy their relationships.

9. Criticism

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If you're always picking at your partner, pulling them up on things and criticising them, then you need to stop. This will damage the connection in your relationship and may cause your partner to feel as though they are walking on eggshells. Attacking your partner can lead to resentment and frustration.

10. Lack of empathy

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Do you have trouble seeing things from your partner's perspective? Unable to understand why they are feeling or thinking in certain ways? Working on your empathy will benefit your relationship a lot. Lack of empathy can cause more friction and create a space between you.

11. Selfishness

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Relationships with others need to have balance. If you're selfish with your needs, ideas and feelings, then you're creating a one sided relationship. Your partner is likely going to be made to feel small, dismissed, resentful and even disappointed.

12. Excessive anger

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If you struggle to control your anger, this can have a negative impact on your relationships. If you're unpredictable and explosive, others are going to find it difficult to be honest with you or feel comfortable. It can also be hard for others to build trust with you.

13. Passive-aggressive behavior

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When you're passive aggressive, you create an environment where nobody feels comfortable openly expressing their feelings. People exposed to passive aggressive behaviours are likely to feel anxious and stressed. If your partner feels nervous around you, how are you going to have a happy, healthy relationship?

14. Insensitivity

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Invalidating your partner's feelings, emotions or experiences is a sure way to push them away. Dismissing them is going to stop them from being honest with you and can kill communication. Your partner may also begin to question their perceptions and feelings.

15. Ignoring others needs

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Do you push your partners needs to one side? Perhaps you act in ways that suit you, even though you know it does not align with them? Doing this is going to cause your partner to feel unfulfilled. It also gives them a message that you don't care about them.

16. Addiction

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Whether this is drugs, alcohol, online shopping or pornography. If you're an addict, generally this means you will struggle to put other things above this need. Naturally, people struggling with addiction may end up neglecting their relationships. Depending on the addiction, you could also be putting your loved ones at risk.

17. Lack of intimacy

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Intimacy is a key factor to help bring people closer together, helping develop an emotional and physical connection. Lack of intimacy prevents the relationship developing. This can also leave people with feelings of rejection, hurt and disappointment.

18. Lack of commitment

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Lack of commitment from either partner will put you on a fast track to drifting apart. This can mean a person may take the other for granted or not put in the necessary work. When someone is not committed, they're also more susceptible to temptation.

19. Neglecting the relationship

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Neglecting your relationship can present in a number of ways. For some people, it may be failing to make time for the other person. Or, it might be becoming complacent and allowing the relationship to become stagnant. Long, successful relationships happen when the spark stays alive.

20. Withholding affection or attention

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If you're the person who withdraws your attention or affections as a punishment to your significant other, then you're doing far more damage than good. This isn't teaching them a lesson, it's a form of manipulation and it's teaching your partner to get on without you! Plus, they may begin to feel resentful and frustrated with you.

21. Physical or emotional abuse

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So, nobody should need an article to tell them that emotional or physical abuse is not ok. Clearly, abusive behavior will destroy your relationships. Feelings such as fear, anxiety and pain should not be a part of a healthy relationship. Not to mention tearing down the person being abused.

22. Betrayal

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Betrayal can happen in different ways, not just cheating. If you're hiding things, lying to or violating your partner's trust in any way, this can be very damaging to the relationship. Your actions could affect your partners self-esteem and ability to trust you.

23. Avoiding responsibility

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It takes two for a relationship to work. If you're the type of person who always tries to worm your way out of responsibility, then you're destined for failed relationships. Blaming others for your mistakes, avoiding difficult conversations, or just generally lacking interest are all ways of avoiding responsibility.

24. Not taking the other person's opinions or feelings into account

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There are two sets of feelings to consider when you're in a relationship. Do you act in certain ways without thinking about how that's going to make your partner feel? This is bound to come across as a lack of care on your part and your partner will end up hurt.

25. Inability to compromise

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Sometimes, you've got to meet in the middle. If it's your way or the high way and the word 'compromise' doesn't exist in your vocabulary, you need to grow up! A simple compromise can help keep you both happy, satisfied and both feel heard. Failing to do this will leave you with the opposite.

26. Withholding forgiveness

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Do you hold a grudge? Maybe you like to bring up that thing that happened six months ago to help you win today's argument? Stop doing this! If it's not worth breaking up over, then let it go! Punishing your partner will leave them frustrated and will make you miserable.

27. Disinterest in resolving conflicts

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It's normal to have disagreements and conflict in relationships. What matters is how you handle it afterwards. If you're blatantly disinterested in making up with your partner and you're happy to carry on in silence, then you're allowing your relationship to fail.

28. Lack of appreciation or gratitude

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Psychologically, people need to feel appreciated and valued to be happy. When they do, their mental health is improved and they're more likely to put their all into the relationship. When you lack appreciation or gratitude, your partner is going to stop showing up for you and it could damage their self-esteem.

29. Being critical of the other person's friends or family

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It's no secret that in-laws can be difficult to deal with at times. But, you've got to remember, your partners family can be a touchy subject! Bad mouthing them is likely to create resentment and a distance between you. How would you feel if it was the other way around?

30. Refusing to change or work on personal issues

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Nobody's perfect and everybody could benefit from some self-work now and again. If you flat out refuse to acknowledge your character flaws, then your loved ones are likely to grow frustrated with you. Actively working on your personal issues sends a message to your partner that you want to be the best you can for them.

31. You have a pretty flawed personality

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We know that nobody is perfect, and everybody has their own flaws - this isn't always a reason for your relationships breaking down, but if you have a lot of difficult flaws that someone is going to start being impatient about dealing with, this could definitely be a contributing factor!

32. You always withdraw into yourself

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If you withdraw into yourself and close yourself off from the people around you, then obviously your relationships are going to suffer for it! It's not only the fact that they're going to have a hard time getting through to you, it's the fact you want to withdraw, too, that can put them off.

33. You're making decisions as though you're single

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This is a big one that's going to push people away, because it's like you don't even care about their opinion. If you're never talking to them or asking them about decisions in your life that affect the both of you, and you're doing stuff just for yourself, it's telling the other person that you want to be single.

34. You've turned a relationship into long-distance

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One of the hugest decisions you can make alone that will negatively impact your relationships is to move far away without even consulting the other person. If you've made the decision to make that relationship long distance without considering their needs, it's just going to make them think you want to be far away from them!

35. You're starting to hate yourself

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It's really difficult to be with a person who really doesn't like themselves and makes that fact known every second of the day. It's natural to have insecurities, but if you hate yourself, it's more likely other people are going to find it difficult to love you too! Especially if you constantly put yourself down.

36. You keep starting fights

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Having arguments and fights in relationships is natural - starting fights ALL THE TIME for no good reason is a bad thing. You might even enjoy causing drama for the sake of drama, so this is going to be a number one cause of your relationships breaking down if you're just stirring the pot!

37. You're always thinking of reasons NOT to be with someone

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Sure, there are pros and cons with being with someone, and if you're trying to decide whether a relationship is working for you, you're going to think of reasons it might not work. But if you're going day by day ignoring all the amazing things about someone and just focuses on the negatives, it's going to cause a rift!

38. You're very, very bad with money

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Money is one of the biggest things that can pull people apart, and one of the most common things couples argue about. If you're really irresponsible with your own finances - maybe you're ridiculously in debt and happily get into more debt - people are going to worry about sticking around you.

39. And other people's money!

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What can be even worse is if you're irresponsible with other people's money. Partners or other people might be kind enough to lend you some money when you're struggling - but do you ever give them that money back? Can you be trusted not to spend the money on something else instead?

40. You don't have any long-term prospects

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People want to have a partner who's motivated about the future, who has goals and who has a more get up and go attitude. If you don't even know what your plans are for later the same day, you're going to come off as a person who doesn't have any prospects, motivation or any desire not to be lazy.

41. You don't give validation to anyone

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Validation is so important in relationships - people want to hear their partners telling them they did a good job, their cooking tastes great, their outfit is on point... all of it. If you never validate any of your partners, you're slowly going to be pushing them away!

42. You're not replying messages or calls

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We get it: some people just aren't good at replying messages or calls because they're not a 'phone' person or whatever. But in this day and age there's a thin line between that and just being plain rude. If you never, ever reply your partner's messages or calls when they need you the most, it's going to form a wedge.

43. You never seem to really enjoy anything

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There has to be some sort of enjoyment in a relationship, after all - the other person needs to know that you're actually happy and having fun. But this is worse than just not showing enjoyment with them - are you just not enjoying anything in life? Do you not show a passion for anything?

44. All your relationships are one-sided

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Relationships are going to hit a brick wall if they're one-sided, where you're not considering the feelings or needs of your partner and only ever prioritizing your own. It could also come down to little things, like them being the ones to say 'I love you' and you never saying it!

45. Partners give you a 'dealbreaker' - and you do it anyway

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Sometimes when you get into a relationship with someone, they might give you a 'dealbreaker' where they say they can't be with a person who does or says something specific - that the relationship would end straight away. You heard them tell you this - yet you still do the dealbreaker.

46. You run from commitment

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It's one thing to not willingly give an answer about things, or not often talk about the future - it's another to actually full on sprint in the opposite direction from commitment! People who want committed relationships aren't ever going to be able to be with you when you're like that.

47. You never look to improve yourself

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The best relationships will have each partner bringing out the best in the other and helping them improve - while encouraging the person to improve themselves along the way. If you're never looking to drop any bad habits or make yourself into a better person, you're only going to drag them down.

48. You use people

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Are you only in a relationship with someone because they have a car and you don't? Or because they already have their own place so you can happily sleep over there instead of couch surfing? If you're using your partners for very specific means, it's not an authentic relationship!

49. You don't like to share!

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Sharing's caring, as they say, and it goes without saying in a relationship! If you don't like to share anything - your time, your personal space, your favorite food, your leftover takeout - then you're only coming off as a selfish person who would definitely rather be single.

50. You're putting everything else first

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Sometimes, things are unavoidable, like work meetings taking over when you said you'd meet a partner for lunch - sometimes it's just not your fault. But if your active plans ALWAYS put everything else in your life before them at the bottom of the list, you're only going to drive them away.