Things You Are Doing That Are Slowly Destroying Your Relationships

By molly atherton 8 months ago
Welcome, dear reader, to the rollercoaster of relationship revelations! Buckle up as we dive into the twisted tango of love, uncovering the sneaky saboteurs that lurk beneath the surface of seemingly solid connections. In this whirlwind exploration, we'll unveil the seemingly innocent habits that pack a punch, slowly eroding the sturdy pillars of your most cherished relationships. So, grab your magnifying glass and prepare for an eye-opening expedition...

1. Lack of communication

Ah, the silent symphony of misunderstood emotions! It's a tale as old as time—expecting telepathic prowess from our beloved partners. Alas, we're not mind readers, and neither are they. Picture this: a bubbling cauldron of unspoken desires, brewing beneath the surface.
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One of the most common relationship mistakes that people make is the failure to communicate their feelings and needs. You can't expect your partner to read your mind! Failure to communicate can lead to resentment, blame or worsen feelings of insecurity.Original content sourced from

2. Dishonesty

Ah, the intricate web we weave when first we practice to deceive! Whether it's a grandiose tale spun from thin air or the tiny white lies that tiptoe into our conversations, each untruth is a chisel slowly carving a rift between hearts.
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Whether it's a big lie, or little fibs now and then, this can negatively impact your relationships and create a wedge between you. Trust is easy to break and very hard to rebuild. How do you expect them to have faith in you when you're constantly giving them a reason not to?

3. Lack of trust

Imagine trust as the sturdy vessel navigating the tumultuous seas of relationships. Without it, the waters grow treacherous, tossing emotions like a tempest, leaving hearts adrift in a storm of doubt. When trust becomes a scarce commodity in a relationship, it's akin to treading on thin ice.
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Leading on from this, if your relationship is lacking in trust, it's more likely to fail in the long run. When you don't trust your partner, you're going to feel more anxious, jealous and insecure. All traits which can wreak havoc on your relationship.

4. Disrespect

Consider this: relationships are a delicate dance of mutual respect and admiration. Yet, there are moments when the rhythm falters, and the steps turn into stumbling blocks. If you find yourself consistently disrespecting your partner, it's akin to wielding a sword against their self-worth.
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If you're the type of person who constantly disrespects your partner, then you need to take a look in the mirror. Doing this has the potential to really damage their self-esteem and you're in danger of crossing the line of emotional abuse. You should always want your partner to be happy and confident!

5. Being unfaithful

Infidelity—the seismic rupture that shatters the very bedrock of trust and intimacy in a relationship. It's the breach of a sacred pact, leaving emotional wreckage in its wake. Picture this: a once-sturdy fortress of love now reduced to fragile ruins, scarred by the detonation of betrayal.
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Possibly the most obvious way to destroy your relationship would be being unfaithful to your partner. Cheating on a person can have a huge mental impact, potentially leading to inability to trust you again, questioning their own self-worth or even depression.

6. Controlling behavior

In the theater of relationships, the stage should be a sanctuary where partners perform their authentic selves without the suffocating confines of control. It's a delicate balance—respecting their individuality while intertwining your lives in a harmonious duet.
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When you are in a relationship, you should respect and trust that person enough to allow them to be themselves and make their own decisions. Nobody wants to feel like they are being controlled and eventually, they are likely to walk away from this behavior.

7. Jealousy

Ah, jealousy—the corrosive elixir that seeps into the cracks of relationships, poisoning the very essence of trust and contentment. It's a double-edged sword, slicing through emotions on both ends of the spectrum.
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Jealousy can be toxic to relationships and create issues on both sides. The person with the jealousy problem is going to feel anxious, angry and out of control. Whilst the receiving partner is going to become frustrated and resentful that they are being scrutinised and not trusted.

8. Narcissism

Ah, the siren song of narcissism—a magnetic pull toward self-gratification, often at the expense of others' emotions and needs. Picture this: a narcissistic individual navigating the intricate web of relationships, each move calculated on the chessboard of self-interest.
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Narcissistic people tend to act in ways that are going to benefit them. If this means invalidating other people's feelings and needs, they are absolutely going to do that. This kind of person is usually manipulative and will almost always destroy their relationships.

9. Criticism

Imagine a relationship as a delicate tapestry, woven from the threads of love, respect, and understanding. Yet, the incessant picking and pulling at those threads resemble a relentless unraveling, threatening the very fabric that binds two souls together.
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If you're always picking at your partner, pulling them up on things and criticising them, then you need to stop. This will damage the connection in your relationship and may cause your partner to feel as though they are walking on eggshells. Attacking your partner can lead to resentment and frustration.

10. Lack of empathy

Empathy, the cornerstone of emotional connection, is the glue that binds hearts in understanding and compassion. Yet, the inability to see through the lens of your partner's emotions and thoughts can create a void—a gaping chasm between two individuals yearning for connection.
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Do you have trouble seeing things from your partner's perspective? Unable to understand why they are feeling or thinking in certain ways? Working on your empathy will benefit your relationship a lot. Lack of empathy can cause more friction and create a space between you.

11. Selfishness

In the intricate dance of relationships, balance reigns as the guiding force—a delicate equilibrium between give and take, where each partner's needs, ideas, and feelings intertwine harmoniously. However, when one hoards the spotlight, claiming the stage solely for themselves, the balance crumbles, leaving the other partner in the shadows.
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Relationships with others need to have balance. If you're selfish with your needs, ideas and feelings, then you're creating a one sided relationship. Your partner is likely going to be made to feel small, dismissed, resentful and even disappointed.

12. Excessive anger

The tempest of unchecked anger can wreak havoc in the serene landscape of relationships, leaving a trail of emotional debris in its wake. Picture this: a volcano simmering beneath the surface, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation, leaving those around in a state of fear and discomfort.
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If you struggle to control your anger, this can have a negative impact on your relationships. If you're unpredictable and explosive, others are going to find it difficult to be honest with you or feel comfortable. It can also be hard for others to build trust with you.

13. Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive aggression, the art of expressing discontent or anger indirectly, creates an atmosphere fraught with tension and unease in relationships. It's like a subtle poison seeping into the air, leaving behind a cloud of discomfort and apprehension.
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When you're passive aggressive, you create an environment where nobody feels comfortable openly expressing their feelings. People exposed to passive aggressive behaviours are likely to feel anxious and stressed. If your partner feels nervous around you, how are you going to have a happy, healthy relationship?

14. Insensitivity

Invalidating your partner's feelings or experiences creates a rift in the fabric of your relationship, leaving them adrift in a sea of doubt and isolation. It's akin to dismissing the very essence of their emotions, casting shadows of doubt over their thoughts and perceptions.
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Invalidating your partner's feelings, emotions or experiences is a sure way to push them away. Dismissing them is going to stop them from being honest with you and can kill communication. Your partner may also begin to question their perceptions and feelings.

15. Ignoring others needs

Disregarding or consistently sidelining your partner's needs and preferences sends a powerful message—a message that speaks volumes about the priority you assign to their feelings and desires. Imagine a relationship as a dance, where partners sway in sync to the music of mutual understanding...
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Do you push your partners needs to one side? Perhaps you act in ways that suit you, even though you know it does not align with them? Doing this is going to cause your partner to feel unfulfilled. It also gives them a message that you don't care about them.

16. Addiction

Certainly, addiction can cast a shadow over relationships, eclipsing the priorities and responsibilities that should anchor a healthy connection. Addiction, be it to substances, behaviors, or activities, often becomes the consuming flame that dims the brightness of relationships.
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Whether this is drugs, alcohol, online shopping or pornography. If you're an addict, generally this means you will struggle to put other things above this need. Naturally, people struggling with addiction may end up neglecting their relationships. Depending on the addiction, you could also be putting your loved ones at risk.

17. Lack of intimacy

Intimacy is the heartbeat of a thriving relationship—a fusion of emotional and physical closeness that fortifies the bond between partners. It's the thread that weaves moments of vulnerability and connection, knitting together the fabric of a deeply fulfilling connection.
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Intimacy is a key factor to help bring people closer together, helping develop an emotional and physical connection. Lack of intimacy prevents the relationship developing. This can also leave people with feelings of rejection, hurt and disappointment.

18. Lack of commitment

Commitment serves as the anchor that keeps a relationship steady amidst life's storms. When commitment falters or wanes, the relationship becomes adrift, sailing towards the tumultuous waters of uncertainty and distance.
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Lack of commitment from either partner will put you on a fast track to drifting apart. This can mean a person may take the other for granted or not put in the necessary work. When someone is not committed, they're also more susceptible to temptation.

19. Neglecting the relationship

Neglect can wear many masks in a relationship, each one casting shadows that slowly erode the vibrant connection between partners. It's a silent assailant that chips away at the foundation of a thriving relationship.
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Neglecting your relationship can present in a number of ways. For some people, it may be failing to make time for the other person. Or, it might be becoming complacent and allowing the relationship to become stagnant. Long, successful relationships happen when the spark stays alive.

20. Withholding affection or attention

Using withdrawal of attention or affection as a form of punishment in a relationship inflicts deeper wounds than one might anticipate. It's a subtle but insidious form of manipulation that corrodes the trust and emotional security between partners.
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If you're the person who withdraws your attention or affections as a punishment to your significant other, then you're doing far more damage than good. This isn't teaching them a lesson, it's a form of manipulation and it's teaching your partner to get on without you! Plus, they may begin to feel resentful and frustrated with you.

21. Physical or emotional abuse

Emotional or physical abuse should never find refuge within the walls of any relationship. It's a poison that corrodes the very essence of a healthy and nurturing connection between partners. The scars left by abuse extend far beyond the surface.
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So, nobody should need an article to tell them that emotional or physical abuse is not ok. Clearly, abusive behavior will destroy your relationships. Feelings such as fear, anxiety and pain should not be a part of a healthy relationship. Not to mention tearing down the person being abused.

22. Betrayal

Betrayal wears many masks in relationships, and its impact can be just as devastating as outright infidelity. It's not just about the act of cheating; it extends to any breach of trust that undermines the integrity of the relationship.
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Betrayal can happen in different ways, not just cheating. If you're hiding things, lying to or violating your partner's trust in any way, this can be very damaging to the relationship. Your actions could affect your partners self-esteem and ability to trust you.

23. Avoiding responsibility

A successful relationship requires an equal commitment from both partners to take responsibility for their actions and contribute positively to the partnership. Avoiding responsibility can act like a corrosive agent, slowly eating away at the foundation of the relationship.
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It takes two for a relationship to work. If you're the type of person who always tries to worm your way out of responsibility, then you're destined for failed relationships. Blaming others for your mistakes, avoiding difficult conversations, or just generally lacking interest are all ways of avoiding responsibility.

24. Not taking the other person's opinions or feelings into account

In a relationship, it's essential to consider not just your own feelings but also how your actions might impact your partner's emotions. Often, unintentional actions or words can inadvertently hurt or upset your partner, creating a sense of neglect or disregard.
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There are two sets of feelings to consider when you're in a relationship. Do you act in certain ways without thinking about how that's going to make your partner feel? This is bound to come across as a lack of care on your part and your partner will end up hurt.

25. Inability to compromise

The art of compromise is the cornerstone of a healthy and thriving relationship. When one partner insists on having their way without considering the other's perspective, it creates an imbalance that undermines the harmony within the relationship.
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Sometimes, you've got to meet in the middle. If it's your way or the high way and the word 'compromise' doesn't exist in your vocabulary, you need to grow up! A simple compromise can help keep you both happy, satisfied and both feel heard. Failing to do this will leave you with the opposite.

26. Withholding forgiveness

Holding onto grudges can cast a shadow over a relationship, creating a perpetual cycle of hurt and resentment. Bringing up past grievances during present conflicts can be detrimental, stirring up old wounds that should have healed.
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Do you hold a grudge? Maybe you like to bring up that thing that happened six months ago to help you win today's argument? Stop doing this! If it's not worth breaking up over, then let it go! Punishing your partner will leave them frustrated and will make you miserable.

27. Disinterest in resolving conflicts

Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. However, it's the approach taken after the storm that truly defines the strength of the relationship. Indifference or a lack of effort in resolving conflicts can cast a shadow over the partnership, allowing resentment to simmer and grow.
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It's normal to have disagreements and conflict in relationships. What matters is how you handle it afterwards. If you're blatantly disinterested in making up with your partner and you're happy to carry on in silence, then you're allowing your relationship to fail.

28. Lack of appreciation or gratitude

Feeling appreciated and valued is fundamental to our emotional well-being. In relationships, this sense of appreciation acts as emotional nourishment, fostering a deep connection and encouraging both partners to invest in the relationship.
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Psychologically, people need to feel appreciated and valued to be happy. When they do, their mental health is improved and they're more likely to put their all into the relationship. When you lack appreciation or gratitude, your partner is going to stop showing up for you and it could damage their self-esteem.

29. Being critical of the other person's friends or family

Navigating relationships with in-laws can indeed be a delicate balancing act. It's crucial to approach this dynamic with sensitivity and respect, understanding the significance of your partner's family in their life. Badmouthing or criticizing your partner's family can inadvertently create a rift.
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It's no secret that in-laws can be difficult to deal with at times. But, you've got to remember, your partners family can be a touchy subject! Bad mouthing them is likely to create resentment and a distance between you. How would you feel if it was the other way around?

30. Refusing to change or work on personal issues

Self-awareness and the willingness to address personal flaws are crucial aspects of personal growth and healthy relationships. Refusing to acknowledge one's character flaws can create barriers in a relationship, hindering emotional connection and growth.
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Nobody's perfect and everybody could benefit from some self-work now and again. If you flat out refuse to acknowledge your character flaws, then your loved ones are likely to grow frustrated with you. Actively working on your personal issues sends a message to your partner that you want to be the best you can for them.

31. You have a pretty flawed personality

Having flaws is a natural part of being human, and in most relationships, minor imperfections don't serve as deal-breakers. However, when someone carries a significant burden of difficult flaws or repeatedly exhibits behaviors that strain the relationship, it can indeed become a contributing factor to its breakdown.
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We know that nobody is perfect, and everybody has their own flaws - this isn't always a reason for your relationships breaking down, but if you have a lot of difficult flaws that someone is going to start being impatient about dealing with, this could definitely be a contributing factor!

32. You always withdraw into yourself

Withdrawing into oneself can pose significant challenges within relationships. This behavior not only creates a barrier for others to connect with you but also communicates a lack of openness or willingness to engage, which can strain relationships.
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If you withdraw into yourself and close yourself off from the people around you, then obviously your relationships are going to suffer for it! It's not only the fact that they're going to have a hard time getting through to you, it's the fact you want to withdraw, too, that can put them off.

33. You're making decisions as though you're single

Decision-making in a relationship isn't just about making choices; it's about considering the impact on both partners. When one consistently makes unilateral decisions without consulting or considering their partner's input, it can create a rift and convey a lack of respect for their opinions or feelings.
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This is a big one that's going to push people away, because it's like you don't even care about their opinion. If you're never talking to them or asking them about decisions in your life that affect the both of you, and you're doing stuff just for yourself, it's telling the other person that you want to be single.

34. You've turned a relationship into long-distance

Making a significant decision like moving far away without involving your partner can deeply impact the relationship. This unilateral decision can create feelings of shock, hurt, and even abandonment within the relationship.
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One of the hugest decisions you can make alone that will negatively impact your relationships is to move far away without even consulting the other person. If you've made the decision to make that relationship long distance without considering their needs, it's just going to make them think you want to be far away from them!

35. You're starting to hate yourself

Self-love and self-acceptance play a pivotal role in healthy relationships. When someone constantly harbors self-hatred or engages in constant self-deprecation, it can create challenges within relationships. Consistent self-criticism or displaying a lack of self-worth can be emotionally taxing.
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It's really difficult to be with a person who really doesn't like themselves and makes that fact known every second of the day. It's natural to have insecurities, but if you hate yourself, it's more likely other people are going to find it difficult to love you too! Especially if you constantly put yourself down.

36. You keep starting fights

Occasional disagreements or conflicts are natural in relationships and can even contribute to growth and understanding between partners. However, consistently instigating fights or creating drama for the sake of it can be detrimental to a relationship's health and longevity.
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Having arguments and fights in relationships is natural - starting fights ALL THE TIME for no good reason is a bad thing. You might even enjoy causing drama for the sake of drama, so this is going to be a number one cause of your relationships breaking down if you're just stirring the pot!

37. You're always thinking of reasons NOT to be with someone

Assessing a relationship involves considering both its positives and negatives. However, fixating solely on the negatives can create an imbalanced perspective and strain the relationship. Constantly dwelling on the negatives might overshadow all the positive aspects of your partner and the relationship.
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Sure, there are pros and cons with being with someone, and if you're trying to decide whether a relationship is working for you, you're going to think of reasons it might not work. But if you're going day by day ignoring all the amazing things about someone and just focuses on the negatives, it's going to cause a rift!

38. You're very, very bad with money

Financial responsibility is a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship. When one partner demonstrates irresponsibility or recklessness with money, it can create significant tension and concern within the relationship.
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Money is one of the biggest things that can pull people apart, and one of the most common things couples argue about. If you're really irresponsible with your own finances - maybe you're ridiculously in debt and happily get into more debt - people are going to worry about sticking around you.

39. And other people's money!

Certainly, mishandling or being irresponsible with borrowed money can severely strain relationships and erode trust. When someone lends money out of goodwill, they trust that it will be used responsibly and repaid as agreed upon.
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What can be even worse is if you're irresponsible with other people's money. Partners or other people might be kind enough to lend you some money when you're struggling - but do you ever give them that money back? Can you be trusted not to spend the money on something else instead?

40. You don't have any long-term prospects

Having goals and a sense of direction in life is often attractive in a partner. It reflects ambition, drive, and a proactive attitude toward personal growth and development. A lack of clarity about one's goals or future plans can convey a sense of aimlessness or lack of motivation.
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People want to have a partner who's motivated about the future, who has goals and who has a more get up and go attitude. If you don't even know what your plans are for later the same day, you're going to come off as a person who doesn't have any prospects, motivation or any desire not to be lazy.

41. You don't give validation to anyone

Validation and affirmation are fundamental elements in a healthy relationship. Expressing appreciation, admiration, and acknowledgment for your partner's efforts, achievements, or qualities strengthens the emotional connection and fosters a sense of security within the relationship.
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Validation is so important in relationships - people want to hear their partners telling them they did a good job, their cooking tastes great, their outfit is on point... all of it. If you never validate any of your partners, you're slowly going to be pushing them away!

42. You're not replying messages or calls

Communication forms the backbone of any healthy relationship. Consistently not responding to messages or calls, especially during crucial times, can create feelings of frustration, neglect, and even abandonment within the relationship.
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We get it: some people just aren't good at replying messages or calls because they're not a 'phone' person or whatever. But in this day and age there's a thin line between that and just being plain rude. If you never, ever reply your partner's messages or calls when they need you the most, it's going to form a wedge.

43. You never seem to really enjoy anything

Sharing joy and experiencing passion within a relationship is essential for its vitality and growth. If one consistently lacks enthusiasm, doesn't show enjoyment, or lacks passion not only within the relationship but also in life, it can affect the overall dynamic.
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There has to be some sort of enjoyment in a relationship, after all - the other person needs to know that you're actually happy and having fun. But this is worse than just not showing enjoyment with them - are you just not enjoying anything in life? Do you not show a passion for anything?

44. All your relationships are one-sided

A healthy relationship thrives on mutual consideration, respect, and reciprocity. When one partner consistently prioritizes their own needs without considering their partner's feelings or needs, it can create an imbalance and strain the relationship.
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Relationships are going to hit a brick wall if they're one-sided, where you're not considering the feelings or needs of your partner and only ever prioritizing your own. It could also come down to little things, like them being the ones to say 'I love you' and you never saying it!

45. Partners give you a 'dealbreaker' - and you do it anyway

Understanding and respecting your partner's dealbreakers is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. If a partner explicitly communicates their boundaries or dealbreakers, disregarding these limits can severely damage the trust and stability of the relationship.
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Sometimes when you get into a relationship with someone, they might give you a 'dealbreaker' where they say they can't be with a person who does or says something specific - that the relationship would end straight away. You heard them tell you this - yet you still do the dealbreaker.

46. You run from commitment

Commitment plays a crucial role in a relationship's success and longevity. If one partner consistently avoids commitment or actively distances themselves from it, it can create significant challenges within the relationship.
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It's one thing to not willingly give an answer about things, or not often talk about the future - it's another to actually full on sprint in the opposite direction from commitment! People who want committed relationships aren't ever going to be able to be with you when you're like that.

47. You never look to improve yourself

Being in a healthy relationship often involves personal growth and mutual support for self-improvement. If one partner remains stagnant or refuses to address their bad habits without any willingness to improve, it can create challenges within the relationship.
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The best relationships will have each partner bringing out the best in the other and helping them improve - while encouraging the person to improve themselves along the way. If you're never looking to drop any bad habits or make yourself into a better person, you're only going to drag them down.

48. You use people

Using someone solely for their possessions or resources rather than forming a genuine connection can undermine the authenticity and health of a relationship. Choosing to be in a relationship primarily for material benefits, such as access to a car or a place to stay, lacks depth.
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Are you only in a relationship with someone because they have a car and you don't? Or because they already have their own place so you can happily sleep over there instead of couch surfing? If you're using your partners for very specific means, it's not an authentic relationship!

49. You don't like to share!

Sharing is a fundamental aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Being unwilling to share various aspects of your life, whether it's time, personal space, possessions, or even small pleasures like food, can create significant challenges within a partnership.
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Sharing's caring, as they say, and it goes without saying in a relationship! If you don't like to share anything - your time, your personal space, your favorite food, your leftover takeout - then you're only coming off as a selfish person who would definitely rather be single.

50. You're putting everything else first

Prioritizing work or other commitments over your partner consistently can strain a relationship. While occasional unavoidable circumstances arise, consistently placing your partner at the bottom of your priority list can create feelings of neglect, resentment, and even abandonment.
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Sometimes, things are unavoidable, like work meetings taking over when you said you'd meet a partner for lunch - sometimes it's just not your fault. But if your active plans ALWAYS put everything else in your life before them at the bottom of the list, you're only going to drive them away.