Things Everyone Should Do Before They Get Married

By Rylee 9 months ago

Get to know each other's important beliefs and values

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Talk more about your values. It means you need to know what both of you believe in. It includes your family ideals, friends, political ideas, and how you see life in general. It's essential to agree on these things before you get married. This way, you can avoid having problems in the future.

Discuss what you expect from marriage

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Many people have different expectations from their partners. It encompasses various aspects, such as how you communicate, the sense of closeness you share, how finances are handled, your approach to parenting, and the division of household responsibilities. Expressing your expectations from your partner within the context of marriage plays a pivotal role in constructing a resilient and blissful relationship that stands the test of time.

Spend time together in different situations

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Spend as much time as you can with your partner. It should not just be on dates, but you should also spend time during everyday activities like cooking and running other daily errands. If you spend more time together, you will understand each other more. It will make your relationship much stronger because you learn each other's strengths and weaknesses, and it lets you know if you can cope with each other's personalities.

Talk about your past relationships

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Many people may shy away from talking about their past relationships. This talk is essential for two reasons; first, it helps you understand each other's past experiences and how these experiences might affect the relationship. Second, it builds trust and closeness by showing honesty with each other. It helps you understand what your partner wants or does not want from you.

Consider counseling

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Most people consider counseling as a sign of having trouble in relationships. However, you should know that counseling isn't a sign of problems but an exercise that will improve your relationship. It can teach you how to communicate better, handle disagreements, and create a strong base for your marriage. Counseling allows you to freely open up to your partner, making it easier when you want to solve issues in the future.

Live together before getting married

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Living together before getting married isn't necessary, but it's a helpful way to check if you and your partner get along well. When you live together, you see each other's habits and quirks up close. It helps you learn how to communicate and solve problems together. If you're happy living together and things go smoothly, it suggests you're a good match.

Discuss how you'll manage money together

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Deciding on money matters upfront can avoid issues after marriage. Who pays for what? Discuss how expenses, future savings, and dealing with debts will be covered. It includes rent, groceries, utilities, transport, and fun activities. You might split costs evenly or agree on separate responsibilities. When you're aligned on finances, decisions are smoother, and conflicts are less likely. Keep in mind finances can change, so review and adjust your plan regularly.

Share Your Long-Term Family Planning

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Have an open conversation about your family planning goals. Discuss the number of children you both desire, the timing of when to start a family, and your roles as parents. This conversation ensures that you are aligned in your vision for your future family.

Be truthful with each other

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Being truthful is crucial in any relationship and even more vital in marriage. Marriage involves a commitment to always be honest with each other. It includes openly sharing your feelings, thoughts, and aspirations. Truthfulness has several advantages. First, it enables couples to build trust. Knowing your partner is truthful fosters a sense of safety and security in the relationship.

Make sure both of you are ready for marriage

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Marriage is a significant step, and readiness is crucial. It involves having financial stability, emotional maturity, and a solid commitment to a successful marriage. Emotional maturity involves effective conflict resolution and handling emotions well. It also means supporting your partner during tough times. Commitment to a successful marriage entails working hard, open communication, and being willing to compromise.

Discuss your religious and spiritual beliefs

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Before marriage, having an open conversation about your religious and spiritual beliefs is crucial. This discussion helps you understand each other's faith, ensuring compatibility in this aspect of your lives. It also allows you to establish a foundation for mutual respect and understanding in your marriage.

Share your health and medical history

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Before marriage, talking about your health history with your partner is vital. It includes allergies, medications, and your family's medical background. Some conditions can be inherited, so knowing any potential risks is crucial. Also, discuss how you'd manage a major health crisis like a heart attack. Would you want your partner to make medical choices if you can't? These tough conversations are crucial for a strong, joyful marriage.

Chat about parenting styles

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Deciding on parenting styles before getting married can avoid future conflicts. Such techniques include authoritarian, authoritative, uninvolved, and permissive. It involves discussing how you'll raise kids, behavior expectations, and discipline methods. Flexibility and compromise are key, as parenting styles can shift.

Openly talk about your sex life

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Talk openly and honestly about your sexual limits. It means discussing what you enjoy, what you don't, and what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. Sex talk leads to a more satisfying and fulfilling connection. While discussing sex can be tough, it's vital for a healthy intimate bond. Openness and honesty foster trust and understanding, which are crucial for a good sex life.

Discuss in-laws

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Pre-discussions lay a solid base for your relationship with your in-laws. Chat about your hopes and worries concerning your in-laws. It includes their compatibility with your family and possible challenges. Talking beforehand lets you make a plan to address issues. Also, respect your partner's feelings toward their family. If they're close, be ready to connect. If they have concerns, listen and empathize.

Share your dreams and goals

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Expressing your dreams and goals to your partner is vital for a strong relationship. It deepens your bond and aids goal achievement. Sharing reveals your true self. You'll feel more supported and motivated with your partner cheering you on. Share dreams in person, letters, journals, or even make a vision board.

Discuss conflict resolution

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Conflict resolution means resolving disagreements positively. It's a key skill for relationships, preventing arguments and hurt feelings. While it takes time and effort, it's valuable. Mastering conflict resolution builds a marriage based on trust, respect, and understanding. It might seem tedious, but it is a crucial discussion between two people who are not married.

Set expectations for housework

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You might be blinded by the love you feel for your fiancé, but the fact is in shared living spaces, agreeing on housework expectations is vital. It guarantees fairness and prevents anyone from feeling overburdened. Be clear and open about your partner's role in whatever approach you pick. It avoids resentment and fosters harmony at home.

Talk about free time

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Finding a balance between spending time with family and personal interests is crucial. It rejuvenates you and enhances your relationships. How you use free time varies individually. Some enjoy partner/family time, while others prefer personal hobbies such as solo trips.

Plan for retirement

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Discussing retirement plans with your partner is vital. Though it might seem overwhelming, early planning ensures you maximize your retirement. In the planning process, talk about where you'll live, how you'll spend your time, and how you'll fund your retirement years.

Discuss your thoughts on divorce

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No married couple expects a divorce. Divorce is tough and emotionally draining. Openly discuss your thoughts and feelings on divorce with your partner. It prepares you for the possibility and prevents later surprises in case you both get divorced in the future.

Share your communication styles

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Communication styles are how we like to interact with others. Some favor face-to-face talks, while others prefer phone or text. Our personality, culture, and tech comfort shape our style. Introverts might choose writing, extroverts, speaking. Direct cultures lean toward face-to-face; indirect ones, text/email. No style is right or wrong. The key is finding what suits you and the other person. Yet, it's vital to recognize and understand both your style and others'.

Talk about social media expectations

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Social media has become deeply integrated into our lives, often influencing our relationships. It's crucial to engage in candid and open conversations with your partner about your mutual expectations regarding the use of social media. By addressing these topics together, you can establish shared expectations catering to your needs. This proactive approach aids in preventing potential conflicts and contributes to the overall health of your relationship.

Chat about work-life balance

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Work-life balance means finding the right balance between your job and your personal time. It's important because it helps you avoid fatigue and keeps you happy. The perfect balance of work, family, and friends is different for everyone. It depends on what's happening in your life and what you like.

Talk About Your Vision for Homeownership

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If you plan to buy a home together, discuss your preferences regarding the property type, location, and timing for homeownership. Also, discuss the cost of owning a home and mortgage requirements. Alignment in your housing goals can guide your decisions regarding real estate.

Talk about thoughts on death

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Passing away is a normal part of life, but it's hard to discuss. Still, it's important to talk openly about it with your partner. This way, you can plan for the future and make sure your wishes are understood. You can chat about things like your ideas about death. What do you think happens next? Does death scare you? Discuss your preferences for your memorial. Do you want a religious or non-religious service? Any special music, readings, or speakers you want?

Discuss pet expectations

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Before getting married, discuss your pet's expectations with your partner. It prevents future disagreements and ensures you're aligned on the type and number of pets and their care responsibilities. Do you both want pets? Great! If not, that's okay too. If you both want pets, what kind? Dogs, cats, fish, birds? How many pets? Consider space, lifestyle, and budget.

Chat about travel desires

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If you both have a hobby in traveling, this is a great topic to discuss. Traveling as a single is fun too, because you get all the time to yourself. However, traveling as a couple builds a strong connection and makes lifelong memories. Talk to your partner about where you'd like to travel. This way, you can plan trips that both of you will love. Having this conversation also allows you to talk about your future likes and dislikes about traveling.

Share hobbies and interests

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Before marriage, sharing hobbies and interests helps you understand each other and gauge long-term compatibility. Hobbies are things you enjoy doing, like reading or playing sports. Interests are things you're passionate about, like music or travel. When you share these, it strengthens your connection and makes the relationship more fulfilling.

Talk about charity and volunteering

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Discussing charity and volunteering before marriage is essential for a few reasons. It helps you understand each other's values. Learning about your partner's values is crucial for a strong marriage. Volunteering together builds teamwork, communication, and problem-solving skills. These skills are vital for a happy marriage.