Things Everyone Should Do Before They Break Up From A Partner

By Tom Pearson 9 months ago

Get Emotional

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Being emotional about a breakup is a really natural thing and a super healthy way to cope with heartbreak. After a good crying session you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders and will probably have one of the best naps of your life! Getting emotional with your partner is the best way to openly discuss the relationship and how you want it to end.

Have A Clearout

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Having a clear out of stuff is a great way to spend a few hours or a couple of days after a breakup. If they have collected everything they want or need, then throw out the rest of your partner's stuff. It can be a nice way to reflect on the relationship, and by throwing away stuff that you no longer want you can get some closure and start to move on.

Don't Drink Heavily

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Drinking heavily is one of the worst things you can do after a break up. Drinking will make you more emotional and lower your inhibitions, meaning that you might do something that you will later regret due to being overly emotional. Try and limit drinking, and if you do drink heavily make sure you're in the company of trusted friends or family members.

Sort Out Paperwork

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Boring, but it needs to be done. You might be feeling a bit lost after a break up, and like you have loads of time on your hands. This is the perfect time to sort out any paperwork that has been put on the back burner in the chaos. Take a day or two to sort out and throw out anything that you don't need. Filing things in ring binders is a great way to keep organized.

Arrange Phone Numbers

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Some more admin that future you will thank you for is sorting out telephone numbers and contact details. Get any phone numbers you might need from your partner and likewise give them any that they might need in future too. If you have had a messy break up, block their number and go through social media to make sure they can not contact you again!

A Final Hug

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A final hug is a sad but crucial part of a break up. It signifies the end to both parties and is a nice way to part ways. This can get emotional, so bring some tissues for the both of you. A final hug is best in a public place, or with friends around to support you in case it all gets a bit much. This might be one of the hardest things to do, but it is important.

Sort Out Pets

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If you have a pet or multiple pets with your partner, then you need to decide how you want to care for them. Are you going to split their care between your two homes, with one person having them for a week and the other the next week? Is the pet yours from when you were single? Are you going to let you ex see the pet? Decide all this before you split.

Find A Place To Live

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Finding a new apartment or place to like after you break up can seem depressing and daunting, but it is a nice way to get a fresh start on your own. If you can not afford a place right away, live with friends for a while or move back in with parents/family. Having some space to think on your own is a great way to get over someone and recover properly.

Get Angry

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Maybe do this on your own or with friends rather than at your partner, as it could cause more issues rather than solving them. Try going out with friends to a smash room, or having a big bonfire. Having a vent to your friends about why you split up is also a good way to get things off your chest, so get angry, but try to keep a lid on it if you can.

Get A New Career

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Sometimes after a break up with a long standing partner, a whole life switch up can be in order. Maybe now is the time to change career to that thing you always fancied, or try and go self employed now you have more time on your hands. A career change is especially important if you work with your ex partner, you need to get some personal space back.

Get Some Space

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With camping and weekends away becoming more accessible all the time, book some time for you and a pet, or just you, to get away from it all. Take some time off work, turn off your phone and go and chill out in the wild with a good book and a campfire. A full reset is good for you anything, and might be just what the doctor ordered to mend a broken heart.

Give It Time

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Relax, don't rush it. No matter how long you have been with a partner, it will hurt when you part ways, so give it a bit of time. You are going to feel rotten for a few days, there is no doubt about that, but everyone gets better eventually, and broken hearts do mend. Don't try and rush it and don't worry about what your ex is up to, you just focus on you!

Go On A Date

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Going on a date is a great way to get back on the horse. From the get go, decide what you want from this date. Do you want a new partner, or are you just getting back into the world of dating? If you don't feel comfy dating straight away, try downloading some dating apps like tinder or bumble, or have a practice date with a close friend or a small group.

Hang Out With Friends

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You friends always have your back, so go to them. Your friends are a great distraction, and the best people to discuss your break up with. They will want to know what happened, and all the juicy gossip. They also know when to stop asking questions, and will know just how to make you feel better again. Go and see your pals, they will know what to do!

Head Out

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Head out to the bar, go shopping, go to a club, just get out there and do something. Getting out and about gets you out of a catatonic state and helps to mentally reset you. Getting out, even to the grocery store, reminds us that everyone else is living complex lives too, and we just need to get our head down and carry on until the bad times pass.

Say Goodbye

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Make sure to say a true and heartfelt goodbye to your partner, as a clean break and limited contact is often best. Say goodbye to their family too if you want and make sure to say goodbye to any pets you might not get to see for a while. Saying goodbye is a difficult one and it signifies the end, but its something that you both need to do, its for the best.

Get Some Rest

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Separating from your other half is emotionally traumatic, so get some rest! Go and chill out on the couch, no one will blame you for taking a couple of days just to relax, eat ice cream and be sad. Sometimes is what we just need, make sure not to rest for too long as you'll find it harder to get going again, but a few days will do you the world of good.

Make Peace

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Make peace with the decision. If you decided to split up, then you have done what you wanted and it is time to focus on your other life goals. If you partner dumped you, then that is what they decided, so give them some time and space. At the end of the day, what's done is done, and you might be meant to get back together at some point, you'll just have to wait and see.

Sort Childcare

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Children add a whole different ingredient to the break up recipe card. They need to see both parents really apart from in extreme circumstances. Remember, even though your children may not want you to split at first, children with two happy homes are better of than children in one miserable one, so do whats right for yourself and for the children.

Stay Busy

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Whether its a new hobby, or just a bit of overtime at work, keeping busy is key as you need to focus your time and energy elsewhere. Keeping busy will help you get over the hump of the break up much faster, and will ultimately benefit you both in the long run. It also gives you a great excuse to keep yourself to yourself, which might be just what you need,

Separate Finances

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It might be physical cash or bills that you pay monthly, but remember to separate your finances if they were combined. By keeping your finances combined, it makes a relationship easier, but if you split then they need to split too. Ensure that all bills in your name are just benefiting you, as your ex is now effectively a stranger and you don't want to be funding their life.

Smile

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Smile! It's that easy! Just smiling releases positive endorphins and will make you feel better. Doing activities that make you smile are key too, as they will help to lift your mood. Going to see friend and family who make you smile is super important too. Watch a show or do a hobby that makes you smile, just do anything to get yourself smiling again.

Relax

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Curl yourself up with a good book and a hot drink, or slump on the couch and put on every single star wars movie. Pack up your tent and walking boots, or go for a long drive around the twisties. Whatever you like to do to relax, do that! Relaxing is of course really important, and living a 'just rest' lifestyle can help with the pain of a break up.

Organize Your Stuff

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Using cardboard boxes and a marker pen is the best way to do this, split your stuff into yours and theirs piles and figure out who gets what can not be shared. You are going to need to give and take when doing this, so don't be selfish. Similarly, make sure you do not get pushed around. If you paid for something and you want it, then you fight for it!

Are You Owed Anything?

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Does your partner owe you anything? Do they owe you cash, or half of the rent deposit? Do they still have some of your stuff, or did they sell it and pocket the profit. These are the things you need to find out. Make sure that both parties are even when the relationship ends, as it is not fair for either the dumper or the 'dumpee' to be left out of pocket.

Figure Out Transport

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If you have a car each that's perfect, one person take one, the other take the other. You are going to need to figure out who gets what car, like if you paid more for one, then you keep that. Maybe your partner needs a more reliable car for work, so you take the older one? This is again, all about compromise, so you will need to act like a grown up and figure it out.

Talk To Your Family

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Your parents or close family will probably know roughly what you're going through and how you feel. They will also always have your back, so go and talk to them and tell them what happened. You don't need to get into all of the nitty gritty details, just let them know about the break up and talk to them if you need to, they will always make time to listen.

Don't Feel Guilty

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This one is much easier said than done, especially if you decided to terminate the relationship. Deep down you know it is for the best for the both of you, but when someone gets upset its natural to feel super guilty. Try not to feel too bad, its is for the best and if you have made your mind up then that is that. Try not to feel to bad for things said in the heat of the moment too.

Work From Home

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This is a simple one if you have the kind of job where you can work from home. Working from your house is the best way to sneak off for a cry or just some time to think about things. You won't have to have any of them embarrassing conversations with colleagues about what happened, and it saves the embarrassment of tearing up in the office when you don't want to.

Distract Yourself

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Play video games or learn how to cook a souffle, it doesn't really matter what you use as a distraction, just do something to get out of the negative mindset and stop thinking about the break up. You could do something as simple as listen to a podcast, right the way through to starting a business from home, just do something to focus your time on.