The Worst Things We Could Possibly Do When Making New Friends

By Sophie 9 months ago

Make Inappropriate Jokes

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Having a sick sense of humor can be great if the other person does. You may form a bond as you laugh at inappropriate things, however if the person doesn't share the same improper banter, then you may be in for trouble. It's best to keep it vanilla until you really get to know them.

Express Bigoted Opinions

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Bigotry is never going to win you popularity points, so if you are unfortunate enough to hold such views then perhaps keep them to yourself. Then try and find a way to open your mind to less bigoted views - you'll make more friends and less enemies that way.

Offend The Other Person

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If you're trying to make friends with someone, then it is really best to try and not offend them. You don't have to tell them if you dislike what they're wearing, and don't ever make negative comments about their loved ones. This is sure to make them run a mile!

Gossip About Others

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If a person gossips in your company then we kid you not, they will gossip about you behind your back. It's just a personality trait of some people; it doesn't matter who you are or what you have done, if you are breathing, you will be a topic of conversation.

Reveal Too Much Too Soon

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If you're just starting out as friends, then revealing too much about yourself too soon may be off-putting for the other person. We're not encouraging you to keep any of your personality hidden, just maybe that it's best you don't reveal that one weird thing you did in tenth grade...

Be OTT

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Enthusiasm is great when you're making new friends, but if you're overbearing then the person you're befriending may be a little startled by you. It might make them feel uncomfortable which isn't conducive to forming a positive new relationship, so maybe best to keep it cool.

Flirt With Their Partner

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This is an absolute no-no and will make the friend-making endeavor fizzle out before it's even began. The complete disregard for the other person's feelings will ensure that you're not a person to be trusted - you'll get a bad reputation rather than a pal. Friends just don't do that to friends!

Ask Questions That Are Too Personal

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Asking uncomfortable questions will probably not lead to very constructive conversation. If they're too personal then it may seem like you're prying, and the person is likely to get offended. Perhaps down the line it'll be appropriate to speak so personally as close friends do, but it tends to be a bad idea in the beginning.

Give A Negative Opinion Of Them

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If you say something bad about another person, to that person, then don't expect them to want to be your friend. Negative statements have the capacity to cause harm and make you come across as a cruel individual, so best not to voice mean opinions if you're trying to make friends!

Talk About Yourself Too Much

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Constantly talking about yourself makes you seem self-centered and disinterested in those you're conversing with. It becomes tiresome and we doubt consistent self-promotion will win you many friends. Sharing things about ourself is great, just make sure it isn't the only thing you're sharing.

Don't Talk Enough

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People want to hang around with people they can bounce off. They want to have interesting discussions and learn new things. This will never happen if you don't talk enough in conversation, as they'll never get to know who you really are. It's okay to be shy, just offer something byway of chit chat.

Don't Ask Any Questions

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Asking questions is an indication of your engagement in conversation, especially if you're just getting to know someone. It's an easy way to keep a conversation flowing, and will be appreciated by the person you're talking with. If you're unsure, have some ready prepared questions to ask if the conversation goes stale.

Only Speak To Each Other Over The Internet

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In the age of the internet where we can talk with anyone, anywhere, anytime, it's easy to keep your relationships virtual. However we believe you never truly get to know someone if you don't meet them in person. If you live close enough, make sure you're spending time together in real life if you want to develop real, lasting friendships.

Not Be Yourself

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Meeting new people can be terrifying, and it is sometimes tempting to act in a way that you think will get people to like you. However people often see straight through this and see when you're not being genuine. Try to relax and be yourself and you're more likely to make true friendships.

You Don't Take Their Interests Into Account

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It's important when you're getting to know someone that you do things that you'll both enjoy. It's a sign of a selfish person if you plan things that you know the other person won't enjoy, so try to negotiate some mutual enjoyable activities so that everyone is happy!

Bring Along Inappropriate Friends

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We all have friends who we wouldn't necessarily introduce to our grandparents, so why would we introduce them to our new friends? You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep, so if one of your lifelong friends is highly inappropriate, then probably best to leave them at home.

Don't Listen

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Listening is key when you're making new friends. It shows that you're interested in what they have to say, and that you're keen to form a real bond with them. If you don't care about what they're talking about, then what's the point of befriending them in the first place?

Make Little Effort

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People know when you make an effort for them, and they appreciate it when you do. If you don't, then they'll feel as though you don't care about them, their feelings, or about hanging out with them. If you don't make an effort with them then they won't make an effort with you.

Take Too Much And Don't Give Enough

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Friendship is about balance. We don't give to receive but we should each put in the same amount of care. Some people treat life as something to take from. They only think about what they can get rather than what they can give. It's these people who don't attract friends, as friendship should be a two-way street!

Make Excuses

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Human beings value honesty, and it is an integral part of friendship. Making excuses just shows that you can't be honest, and it'll effect how another person trusts you. It'll also make the other person think that they're not worthy enough of your time, which is likely to mean that they won't bother being your friend.

Ghost Them

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It can be a bit uncomfortable making new friends; it may be something waaay out of our comfort zone. Sometimes the automatic reaction to this is to bury your head and ignore the fact that you even tried, but this will not hold you in good stead for good friendship-making in future! Be sure to persist, once you get close and comfortable you'll be glad you did.

Let Them Pay All The Time

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Going out for dinner or coffee is a great way to get to know someone, however it is common courtesy to pay your way. If they insist on getting the bill, make sure you get it next time. If they're constantly paying then it's likely that they'll stop inviting you out!

Say Negative Things About Their Achievements

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When someone is proud of something, they want and deserve praise, so why would you say anything negative about it? Perhaps it's jealousy, perhaps you genuinely have negative feelings towards it, but unless the achievement is harmful, then it's always best to be happy for the person.

Not Be There For Them When They Need You

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It may be a word of advice or encouragement, or even just an ear to listen, when someone needs something from a friend then they expect them to be there with it. If they're not, then apart from the great times you may have together, what's the point of a friendship?

Be Judgmental

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It's difficult to trust judgmental people. If they so easily pass judgments upon others then they probably pass judgment upon you too. Hearing their judgments will also zap all of your positive energy and leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, so try not to be that person if you're goal is to make friends.

Be Untrustworthy

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Trust is one of the biggest assets in a relationship. Friends need to trust one another wholeheartedly as they lean on each other for support, and share the most personal things. If you're not trustworthy then people won't want to be your friend. Simple as.

Interrupt Them

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Interrupting a person in conversation is a sure way to have them not enjoy your conversation. It is irritating and disrespectful, it impedes the bonding process and blocks friendships from forming. We know it can be a nerve-racking and exciting time, but try explaining that to someone who is interrupted every 30 seconds.

Be Discouraging

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Friends should lift each other up. They should encourage one another and be happy about each other's achievements. If you're discouraging to a person they're likely to not want to hang around you. Nobody needs that negativity in their lives so they'll simply just avoid you.

Embarrass Them

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Embarrassing people is just cruel. It is hurtful and extremely unsupportive, so why would anyone do that to a friend? If you're trying to befriend someone then best not to do this, there's absolutely no reason why someone would hang around with a person who tries to make them look stupid.

Talk Badly About Their Loved Ones

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People can be fiercely protective over their loved ones, and anyone speaking badly of them can expect to receive some backlash! A person's friends and family are like an extension of them, so if you want to make friends you'd better be prepared to befriend them, too.