Signs The Love In A Relationship Is One Sided

By Aaron Love 10 months ago

You're There For Them More

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One of the most common signs that you or your partner is the main lover in the relationship is when you notice that you're always doing something for them but you can't expect the same to come back to you. If you're always the one having to work to support the other (without obvious reasons) then it might be a major red flag for you and you might want to consider getting out ASAP.

They Downplay Your Expectations

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If you notice that you're displaying much more in the way of effort within a relationship then you are well within your rights to tell them so and expect them to change. If they don't reciprocate your feelings then they might try to downplay your emotions and feelings as something you've made up in your head. Don't allow them to do this though, you feel like that for a reason.

You Keep Apologizing

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If you do choose to voice your problems towards your partner who might be displaying some 'unloving' signs then it can lead to some quite nasty and toxic arguments. They might not be so sympathetic towards your feelings though and this can lead to the argument continuing and continuing. If you find out your apologizing to them even though they're in the wrong then get out now!

You Feel Insecure

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One of the worst things you can do to yourself when you're in a one-sided relationship is to allow it to eat you up. You can end up feeling as though how you feel isn't important anymore and that you might be tricking yourself. Don't allow your mind to spiral like that, you are extremely important and you always have the right to feel the way that you're feeling!

You're Making Excuses For Them

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Everyone can have a bad day here and there, it happens to the best of us and we all learn to accept it. However, what you can't do if you're feeling angry or depressed is to take it out on your partner. If they're doing this to you and your constantly excusing their behaviour then they might not love you as much as you think! Don't enable them, hold them accountable.

Sacrificing Yourself

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If you find yourself often giving up what it is that you want to do with your life in order to please your partner then you might want to consider the relationship that you find yourself in. We should all be able to enjoy the things we love doing and that's something that your partner should assist you in. Never give up on the things you love doing to please someone who doesn't care.

You'd Rather Talk To Your Friends

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If I'm being totally honest, there are some people you should always be talk about your problems to and that is: your partner, your closest friends and your family. Relationship issues are usually easily fixed, and should be done quickly with your partner. However, if you find yourself heading to the other person you love and trust with relationship problems its not a good sign!

You're Scared To Tell The Truth

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Being in a relationship with the person you love should be a magical thing to feel and you should want to share the way you're feeling and what you're doing with the world. However, if you're feelings are one-sided in a relationship and you know it, then you might be afraid to tell your friends and family what's actually going on. You'd rather lie than let them know it's not going well.

You Can't Speak Your Mind

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If you're in a relationship with someone you love then communication should be flowing and there shouldn't be anything that either side should be worried about bringing up to the other. If there's something that someone finds annoys them then it shouldn't mean that it can't be mentioned, but some people might be a little more unpleasant when it comes to a dying love.

You Don't Think Positively Anymore

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After a while of someone who's supposed to love you not doing as they should anymore, it isn't uncommon for you to begin feeling negative emotions when they pop in to your head. You should be able to think positively about them, you should love them; but if all they're making you do is think poorly of them and feel angry or anxious or shameful then there is definitely a problem.

Emotional Immaturity

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It can take some people a lot longer and a lot more effort to be able to communicate their feelings efficiently; it isn't the end of the world! But if they can't even let out a sniff of their own feelings then you might be left feeling unaware of how it is they really are feeling. Don't allow yourself to be left constantly second-guessing someone else's feelings, they should be slightly open with you at least.

They Don't Bring Up Issues

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Let's be honest, no romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) will be perfect, there's always going to be some issues somewhere along the line. However, both sides should be bringing up any issues in order to quash any problems; the problem is that someone who isn't reciprocating the same love someone is showing them won't bother trying!

They Don't Like Boundaries

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I'm sure we've all set some form of boundaries in our lives, that might be with our friends, family or partners; but we all know they can be very important in ensuring that we remain comfortable in our lives. Boundaries can be set in regards to a whole range of things, from how much time you spend to how much time you spent with others. They should be at least willing to have a real conversation with you about them!

You're On Separate Pages

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It can be hard to nail down exactly what stage of a relationship you might be in, especially if you're towards the beginning of a new one. You obviously won't agree on everything but there should be some sort of acceptable middle ground that the two of you CAN agree on. You might find something important but they might think it's completely irrelevant to their own lives.

Trying To Alter Emotions

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The problem with a dying feeling of love within relationships is that you often find yourself trying so hard to change the other person's feelings to revert back to what they once were. The thing is though, that everyone, within themselves, know exactly what it is that they do and don't want. If you have to try and change there mind then it probably doesn't show you in the right light.

You Hide From Confrontation

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If your relationship appears to be on a downward spiral then you might have to consider that it is at least partly down to you as well as your partner. One problem that many people tend to struggle with is being able to accept a partner confronting them with a problem. No one wants to know the person they're in a relationship has a problem with them, but don't hide from it.

There's No Development

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One of the best things about being in a relationship is allowing it to flourish and continue growing as time goes by. You should begin to feel ever more comfortable with a partner as you spend longer together, but if this isn't the case it might be an issue. You might be constantly trying to create change, but the issue is that it should happen naturally. Don't get yourself stuck like that.

You're Egotistical

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The thing with relationships is that they should always be about equality and the sharing of feelings between one another. No one side of  relationship should have more power than the other. If you notice that yourself or your partner seems to only be thinking about themselves instead of taking in to account how the other partner feels then the love might not be so equal either.

No Adapting

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When you commit to entering in to a relationship, you're basically agreeing to support them in their dreams and help them achieve what it is they want to achieve in life. This could mean helping them with the smallest of material tasks to maybe even assisting them in a life-changing career move or something similar. Always help each other.

There's No Consideration

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If you're in a relationship and you find yourself feeling a little down, there's probably no one you want to comfort you more than your partner. And usually you don't even need to tell them you're feeling that way, they should just be able to tell! It can be a sign that someone isn't as interested as they once were if they don't choose to try and help someone when they're visibly distressed.

They Copy Their Parents

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One of the most common reasons that someone might be unable to show signs of love within a relationship is that they were never present in an emotionally present home during their childhood. Many people learn how to treat their partners based off of how their parents treated one another when they lived at home. It can be hard to learn these things without any help.

Feelings Have Been Lost

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It's quite a depressing and sometimes terrifying thought, but many people who once looked as though they were meant to be forever can lose feelings for one another. The worst part about this is that its usually just one person that loses them. You'll probably be able to tell if that this is the case on your end or theirs but you should always discuss the problem if it appears.

You Prefer Time Alone

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One of the most obvious signs that you or your partner is beginning to lose feelings regarding the other is when they would rather spend much more time alone than with a partner. If you have ever found yourself praying for your partner to go out, or for you to get a little bit of time for yourself then it might be a sign your feelings aren't as strong as they once were.

Only One Person Plans Trips

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As part of a duo in a relationship, you will often end up going out to do things together, whether that be simply go to the store together or heading out to complete some random activities. These activity plans should be planned together or if not, evenly shared between the two people in a relationship. If one person is left planning everything it won't be a great sign.

Financial Issues

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It isn't just plans and feelings that begin being shared when you enter a relationship but also the money that each person has to put together to go out for food, pay rent (if they're living together) or do any activities. Obviously, some people might end up having better paying jobs, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of by someone who doesn't love you.

Passive Aggressive Behaviour

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As someone who can be quite sarcastic on a regular basis, it can be quite difficult to avoid being passive aggressive in some form or another when people say or do things that annoy me. The problem with being consistently passive aggressive towards a partner is that it shows you aren't trying to be caring towards them and possibly creating more problems than necessary.

You're Feeling Stressed

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One of the most common things that someone will go through when they're part of a one-sided relationship is that they can feel extremely stressed with their lives. This stress can cause problems in regards to both someone's physical and mental health as they might end up losing sleep and becoming exhausted or feeling anxious and unable to go about their daily lives.

You Feel Alone

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Not only will you feel stressed if you're part of a one-sided relationship but you might also end up feeling as though you don't have anyone to rely on anymore. Losing the person you will have learned to trust and love can be difficult and you might end up feeling slightly isolated, even if you have other people looking out for you. Who else would you have to turn to?

The Relationship Has Gone On Too Long

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As I'm sure you're all aware, not every relationship is meant to last forever and usually people will be able to tell when something like a relationship has run its course. Although it can be a difficult conversation for someone to have, sometimes the best option for everyone involved is to just end it before people begin feeling more hurt than they need to be.

Consider Therapy

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If feelings within a relationship have began to cease to exist, but you feel committed to trying to make things work then you might want to consider taking part in some couples therapy. It can take a lot of effort and commitment to accept that therapy is necessary as well as agreeing to even take part in it. If you feel there's a chance then why not give it a go.

You feel like you aren't enough

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All of these doubts and feelings of negativity that grow over time can easily turn into insecurity and then feeling like you just aren't enough for them. When your partner isn't giving you a lot of attention or explanation for their behavior, you start to fill in the blanks yourself, which usually means you start telling yourself they're being that way because you aren't enough.

You start to feel like a burden

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This can also easily lead to you feeling like a burden. Because you're the only one ever thinking about problems, trying to talk about it, bringing up how you feel - and rightly so - it starts to seem like you're the only person out of the two of you 'complaining', so you start to feel like a burden and that you're just putting pressure on them - when it's their fault, and not yours!

And you might be tiptoeing around them, too

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When you start to feel like a burden it can also result in you having second thoughts about doing certain things or bringing certain issues up. You might have started tiptoeing around them because you don't want to upset them even more, or worry that it might be the 'final straw' if you bring something up with them again because you don't want to set them off or make them mad.

You don't really understand how they're feeling

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Relationships take work and communication, so if it's completely one-sided in that you're always expressing how you feel but they're not, it can leave you confused about how they actually feel about you, about the relationship or maybe just about anything in general. You don't know how they feel, and now it's got to the point where you don't want to ask.

You're the only one who ever brings anything up

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Because you're the only putting the effort into the relationship and trying to communicate better, it really is the case that you're the only one who ever brings up a subject matter to talk about, or issues in the relationship. This can result in you feeling like all you ever do is complain, or them implying that all you do is bring up issues, when actually it's just because you're the only one trying to sort it out.

You've started to talk to other people about your issues instead

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There's nothing wrong with leaning on your best friend or your family to talk through issues, as well as your partner when you have a supportive one. The trouble is, if it feels like you can't ever bring up anything to discuss with your partner, so you don't even factor them as an option anymore. You just automatically go to your best friend or your parents to talk about something.

You're convinced you can change them for the better

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The problem with one-sided relationships, too, can often be that you want it to work so badly that you think you can eventually change them for the better. You believe that if you just keep working at it you'll get them to open up or have them make more of an effort with the relationship. But you shouldn't ever have to fight for them to take an interest in your relationship.

You've started to lie to friends and family about good it is

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Friends and family are bound to ask you how things are going in your relationship, what you've been up to with them or what plans you have. You might have found that you've started lying or sugar-coating everything that's happening, because you can't face up to the reality of you feeling lost. You don't want to tell them the truth so you just say 'oh you know, they've been really busy, so...'

Signs that you're actually the one making the relationship one-sided

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You might not be meaning to do it, but as the person unintentionally making the other person feel like they're in a one-sided relationship, you might even be unaware of what you're doing. It's important to know the signs that you're causing a one-sided relationship as much as knowing the signs that you're in one! Some people are aware of what they're doing, and some people aren't.

You never deal with problems

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Problems in relationships should be tackled openly and honestly by both parties, even if it's difficult and upsetting to get through. So think about how you deal with problems - if you even deal with them at all. Do you ignore any issues when they're brought up because you just want to focus on happy, fun times with them, choosing to ignore any problems so you don't have to deal with the confrontation?

All your thoughts are about yourself

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You need to be less selfish when you're in a relationship - your own feelings matter, but so do theirs. So how do you go about emotions in the relationship? Are you only ever focusing on how you feel and what makes you feel good, whilst not really understanding when they bring up if their upset? As long as you feel like everything is okay, is that what matters the most?

You let them figure things out on their own

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When you're committed in a relationship and planning a future together, it becomes a team effort about the big decisions. You might both have your own goals and dreams, but you need to support each other's and help figure things out. So when they come to you to talk about big decisions - like a new job, or moving home - do you just leave them to figure it out?

You don't follow up with things

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Part of caring about someone is taking on board important things they tell you, and then asking about it down the line, like checking in with them about how they're feeling or saying 'Oh, how did it go at...?' So do you ever follow up with them about important things they've told you? Do you even remember or do you forget everything they spoke to you about? You might remember and just think 'I won't mention it if they don't bring it up'.

You feel weird about opening up

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This isn't your fault if you have some vulnerability issues and don't feel comfortable sharing things, but as a couple, you should work through that with your partner, or tell them that you struggle with it. Instead, you don't say anything - good or bad - and prefer to keep everything to yourself. This can leave your partner wondering how you're feeling or what you're thinking.

How to fix it: be honest with yourself

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It's time to ask yourself the tough questions, whether you're the one causing a one-sided relationship, or whether you're the innocent party in one. You need to be honest with yourself and figure out why you're not communicating very well, or why you're willing to be with someone who isn't giving you anything back in return. Ask yourself questions before you take the next step.

Work out what your deal breakers are

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For some people, having a partner who never, ever talks about their feelings might be an absolute deal breaker. For others, this might be something they can work with. You need to work out your own deal breakers to know whether it's worth putting more effort into this relationship. Without knowing what you're willing to put up with, you're just going to be carrying on in limbo.

Set a time to speak regularly

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This might not work for everybody, but it's worth a try. If you're in a one-sided relationship with someone who won't communicate with you, maybe you can suggest one day a week where you have a relationship check-in and both talk about any issues. If they agree to that, they may feel less pressure being asked every how they're feeling, and it could be the first key step.

Be 100% honest

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The time for holding back has long since passed, and you should stop worrying about how you're going to sound, or the risk of losing them (because if they don't like what you're saying, they're not the one for you anyway). So regardless of whether you're the one in a one-sided relationship, or the one causing it, be 100% honest with your partner. Tell them you can't cope with it being one-sided, or tell them you're not cut out to communicate as much as they apparently need.

Take a break

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Before jumping to the decision to end it, you might need to take a break from it. This is key because it's likely you're suffering emotional and mental burnout from not only having 100% of the relationship effort on your shoulders, but also from trying to work them out or learn how to deal with them when they're not communicating. It's okay just to tell them you need a break.

Do you need to end it?

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And this is the ultimate question you need to explore. One-sided relationships are never, ever going to work if nothing is going to change, if you can't communicate and if you're getting more and more stressed and upset about it over time. So you need to try and have that conversation about how, if things don't change, it might need to end. And though it might be hard, it might also be the right decision.