Signs The Love In A Relationship Is One Sided

By molly atherton 4 months ago
One-sided love in a relationship can be emotionally challenging. Signs may include unequal effort, lack of reciprocating, diminished communication and unmet emotional needs. Recognizing these indicators is crucial ......

You're There For Them More

One of the most common signs that you or your partner is the main lover in the relationship is when you're always doing something for them but you can't expect the same back.
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If you're always the one having to work to support the other (without obvious reasons) then it might be a major red flag  and you might want to consider getting out.

They Downplay Your Expectations

If you notice that you're displaying much more in the way of effort within a relationship then you are well within your rights to tell them so and expect them to change.
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If they don't reciprocate your feelings then they might try to downplay your emotions and feelings as something you have made up in your head.

You Keep Apologizing

If you do choose to voice your problems towards your partner who might be displaying some 'unloving' signs then it can lead to some quite nasty and toxic arguments.
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They might not be sympathetic towards your feelings and this can lead to the argument continuing and continuing. If you find yourself apologizing to them even though they're in the wrong then get out now!

You Feel Insecure

One of the worst things you can do to yourself when you're in a one-sided relationship is to allow it to eat you up. You can end up feeling as though how you feel isn't important any more.
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You might be tricking yourself. Don't allow your mind to spiral like that as you are extremely important and you always have the right to feel the way that you're feeling!

You're Making Excuses For Them

Everyone can have a bad day here and there.  It happens to the best of us and we all learn to accept it. However, what you can't do if you're feeling angry is to take it out on your partner.
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If they're doing this to you and your constantly excusing their behaviour then they might not love you as much as you think! Don't enable them and hold them accountable.

Sacrificing Yourself

If you find yourself often giving up what it is that you want to do with your life in order to please your partner then you might want to consider the relationship that you find yourself in.
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We should all be able to enjoy the things we love doing and that's something that your partner should assist you in. Never give up on the things you love to please someone who doesn't care.

You'd Rather Talk To Your Friends

If I'm being totally honest, there are some people you should always be talk about your problems to and that is: your partner, your closest friends and your family.
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Relationship issues are usually easily fixed and should be done quickly with your partner. However, if you're heading to the other person you love and trust with relationship problems, it's not a good sign!

You're Scared To Tell The Truth

Being in a relationship with the person you love should be a magical thing to feel and you should want to share the way you're feeling and what you're doing with the world.
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However, if your feelings are one-sided in a relationship and you know it, then you might be afraid to tell your friends and family what's actually going on.

You Can't Speak Your Mind

If you're in a relationship with someone you love, then communication should be flowing and there shouldn't be anything that either side should be worried about bringing up to the other.
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If there's an issue that someone finds annoying, then it shouldn't mean it can't be mentioned for fear of unruffling the other person's feathers.  That's not love.

You Don't Think Positively Anymore

When the person you thought loved you unconditionally does not give off those vibes any more, it's common for you to feel negative about yourself.
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If they are making you feel angry, shameful or anxious, for no particular reason, then it's time to admit there is a problem in the relationship.

Emotional Immaturity

It can take some people a lot longer and more effort to be able to communicate their feelings efficiently; it isn't the end of the world!
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If they can't even let out a sniff of their own feelings then you might be left unaware of how it is they really are feeling. Don't allow yourself to be left constantly second guessing.

They Don't Bring Up Issues

Let's be honest, no romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) will be perfect, there's always going to be some issues somewhere along the line.
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Both sides should be bringing up any issues in order to quash any problems; if they are keeping them to themself, they aren't being honest.

They Don't Like Boundaries

I'm sure we've all set some form of boundaries in our lives and we all know they can be very important in ensuring that we remain comfortable in our lives.
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Boundaries can be set from how much time you spend with your partner to how much time you spent with others. They should be at least willing to discuss it.

You're On Separate Pages

It can be hard to nail down exactly what stage of a relationship you might be in, especially if you're towards the beginning of a new one.
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There should be some acceptable middle ground that the two of you CAN agree on. You might find something important but they may think it's irrelevant to their own lives.

Trying To Alter Emotions

The problem with a dying feeling of love within relationships is that you often find yourself trying so hard to change the other person's feelings to revert back to what they once were.
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The thing is that everyone knows exactly what they do or don't want to do. If you have to try and change their mind then it doesn't show you in a good light.

You Hide From Confrontation

If your relationship appears to be on a downward spiral then you might have to consider that it is at least partly down to you as well as your partner.
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One problem is being able to accept a partner who confronts them with a problem.  They should accept there is an issue that needs dealing with.

There's No Development

You should begin to feel ever more comfortable with a partner as you spend longer together but if this isn't the case it might be an issue.
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You might be constantly trying to create change but the issue here is that it should be able to happen naturally. Don't get yourself stuck like that.

You're Egotistical

Relationships should always be about equality and the sharing of feelings between one another. No one side of  relationship should have more power than the other.
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If you notice that yourself or your partner seems to only be thinking about themselves instead of taking into account how the other partner feels then the love might not be so equal either.

No Adapting

When you commit to entering in to a relationship, you're basically agreeing to support them in their dreams and help them achieve what it is they want to achieve in life.
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This could mean helping them with the smallest of material tasks to maybe even assisting them in a life changing career move or something similar. Always help each other.

There's No Consideration

If you're in a relationship and you find yourself feeling a little down, there's probably no one you want to comfort you more than your partner.
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Usually you don't even need to tell them you're feeling that way - they should just be able to tell! It can be a sign that someone isn't as interested as they once were if they don't choose to try and help.

They Copy Their Parents

One of the most common reasons that someone might be unable to show signs of love within a relationship is that they were never present in an emotionally present home during their childhood.
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Many people learn how to treat their partners based on how their parents treated one another when they lived at home. It can be hard to learn these things without any help.

Feelings Have Been Lost

It's quite a depressing and sometimes terrifying thought, but many people who once looked as though they were meant to be forever can lose feelings for one another.
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The worst part about this is that it's usually just one person that loses them. You'll probably be able to tell if this is the case at your end or theirs but always discuss the problem if it appears.

You Prefer Time Alone

One of the most obvious signs that you or your partner are beginning to lose feelings for each other is when they would rather spend much more time alone.
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If you have ever found yourself praying for your partner to go out, or for you to get a little bit of time to yourself, then it might be a sign your feelings aren't as strong as they once were.

Only One Person Plans Trips

As part of a duo in a relationship, you will often end up going out to do things together, whether that be simply go to the store together or heading out to complete some random activities.
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These activities should be planned together or if not, evenly shared between the two people in the relationship. If one person is left planning everything, it's not a great sign.

Financial Issues

It isn't just plans and feelings that are shared when you enter a relationship but also the money that each person has to put together to pay for essentials.
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Obviously, some people might end up having better paying jobs, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of by someone who does not love you.

Passive Aggressive Behaviour

As someone who can be quite sarcastic on a regular basis, it can be quite difficult to avoid being passive aggressive in some form or another when people say or do things that annoy me.
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The problem with being consistently passive aggressive towards a partner is that it shows you aren't trying to be caring towards them and may be creating problems.

You're Feeling Stressed

One of the most common things that someone will go through when they're part of a one-sided relationship is that they can feel extremely stressed with their lives.
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This stress can cause problems in both someone's physical and mental health as they might end up losing sleep and becoming exhausted or feeling anxious.

You Feel Alone

Not only will you feel stressed if you're part of a one-sided relationship but you might also end up feeling as though you don't have anyone to rely on any more.
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Losing the person you have learned to trust can be difficult and you might end up feeling isolated, even if you have other people looking out for you.

The Relationship Has Gone On Too Long

As I'm sure you're all aware, not every relationship is meant to last forever and usually people will be able to tell when it has run its course.
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Although it can be a difficult conversation to have, sometimes the best option for everyone involved is to end it before they begin feeling more hurt than they need to be.

Consider Therapy

If feelings within a relationship have begun to cease to exist, but you feel committed to trying to make things work, then you might want to consider taking part in couples therapy.
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It can take a lot of effort and commitment to accept that therapy is necessary as well as agreeing to even take part in it. If you feel there's a chance for your relationship, give it a go.

You feel like you aren't enough

All of these doubts and feelings of negativity that grow over time can easily turn into insecurity and then feeling like you just aren't enough for them.
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When your partner isn't giving you a lot of attention or explanation for their behavior, you start to fill in the blanks, wrongly thinking you aren't enough.

You start to feel like a burden

This can also easily lead to you feeling like a burden because you're the only one ever thinking about problems, trying to talk about it and bringing up how you feel.
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You start to feel like a burden and that it's you who is just putting pressure on them - when in fact it's their fault and not yours!

And you might be tiptoeing around them, too

When you start to feel like a burden it can also result in you having second thoughts about doing certain things or bringing certain issues up.
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You might have started tiptoeing around them because you don't want to upset them even more, or worry that it might be the 'final straw' if you bring something up with them again.

You don't really understand how they're feeling

Relationships take work and communication, so if it's completely one-sided in that you're always expressing how you feel but they're not, it can leave you confused about how they actually feel about you.
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That could be feelings about the relationship or maybe just about anything in general. You don't know how they feel, and now it's got to the point where you don't want to ask.

You're the only one who ever brings anything up

Because you're the only putting the effort into the relationship and trying to communicate better, it really is the case that you're the only one who ever brings up a subject matter.
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This can result in you feeling like all you ever do is complain, or them implying that all you do is bring up issues, when actually it's because you're the only one trying to sort it out.

You've started to talk to other people about your issues instead

There's nothing wrong with leaning on your best friend or your family to talk through issues, as well as your partner when you have a supportive one.
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If it feels like you can't ever bring up anything to discuss with your partner, you automatically go to your best friend or your parents to talk about what's bugging you.

You're convinced you can change them for the better

The problem with one-sided relationship can be that you are so desperate for it to work that you want to change stuff about your partner.
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You think you can get them to open up or have them make more of an effort with the relationship but you shouldn't ever have to fight for them!

You've started to lie to friends and family about good it is

You might have found that you've started lying to friends and family or sugar-coating everything that's happening, because you can't face up to the reality.
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You can't face up to the reality.  You don't want to tell them the truth so you just say 'oh you know, they've been really busy, so...'

Signs that you're actually the one making the relationship one-sided

You might not be meaning to do it, but as the person unintentionally making the other person feel like they're in a one-sided relationship, you might even be unaware of what you're doing.
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It's important to know the signs that you're causing a one-sided relationship as much as knowing the signs that you're in one! Some people aren't aware of what they're doing.

You never deal with problems

Problems in relationships should be tackled openly and honestly by both parties, even if it's difficult and upsetting to get through. So think about how you deal with problems.
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Do you ignore issues when they're brought up because you want to focus on happy, fun times, choosing to ignore any problems so you don't have to deal with the confrontation?

All your thoughts are about yourself

You need to be less selfish when you're in a relationship - your own feelings matter, but so do theirs. So how do you go about emotions in the relationship?
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Are you only ever focusing on how you feel and what makes you feel good, whilst not really understanding when they bring up if their upset? As long as you feel it's all is okay, is that what matters the most?

You let them figure things out on their own

When you're committed in a relationship and planning a future together, it becomes a team effort. You might both have your own goals and dreams .......
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But you need to support each other and help figure things out. So when they come to you to talk about big decisions, do you just leave them to figure it out?

You don't follow up with things

Part of caring about someone is taking on board important things they tell you and then asking about it further down the line, like checking in with them about how they're feeling.
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Do you even remember or do you forget everything they spoke to you about? You might recall but just think 'I won't mention it if they don't bring it up'.

You feel weird about opening up

This isn't your fault if you have some vulnerability issues and don't feel comfortable sharing things, but as a couple, you should work through that with your partner,
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Instead, you don't say anything - good or bad - and prefer to keep everything to yourself. This can leave your partner wondering how you're feeling or what you're thinking.

How to fix it: be honest with yourself

It's time to ask yourself the tough questions, whether you are the one causing a one-sided relationship, or whether you're the innocent party in one.
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You need to be honest with yourself and figure out why you're not communicating very well, or why you're willing to be with someone who isn't giving you anything back in return.

Work out what your deal breakers are

For some people, having a partner who never, ever talks about their feelings might be an absolute deal breaker. For others, this might be something they can work with.
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You need to work out your own deal breakers to know whether it's worth putting more effort into this relationship. Without knowing what you're willing to put up with, you're in limbo.

Set a time to speak regularly

If you're in a one-sided relationship with someone who won't communicate with you, maybe you can suggest one day a week where you have a relationship check in.
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Both of you should talk about any issues. If they agree to that, they may feel less pressure being asked every hour how they're feeling, and it could be the first key step.

Be 100% honest

So regardless of whether or not you are the one in a one-sided relationship, or the one causing it, be 100% honest with your partner.
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Tell them you can't cope with it being one-sided, or tell them you are not cut out to communicate as much as they apparently need.

Take a break

Before jumping to the decision to end it, you might need to take a break from it. This is key because it's likely you're suffering emotional and mental burnout.
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After bearing 100% of the relationship effort on your shoulders and trying to work them out or learn how to deal with them, it's okay just to tell them you need a break.

Do you need to end it?

One-sided relationships are never, ever going to work if nothing is going to change, if you can't communicate and if you're getting more and more stressed and upset about it over time.
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So you need to try and have that conversation about how, if things don't change, it might need to end. Although it might be hard, it may also be the right decision.