Constant Arguments
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Arguments are a small part of any romantic relationship; when you are spending 24/7 in someone's personal space, it's only natural that there would be hostility from time to time. HOWEVER, if it becomes part of your daily routine, it's not only bad for your relationship but also your own wellbeing!
No Emotional Intimacy
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Being emotionally vulnerable with another person is a hugely scary and often difficult thing to do. The one place you should undoubtably be able to do this with support and love is in your marriage. If you feel you can't be open and honest about your feelings, something is up!
Lack of Communication
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Open communication is the key to all long-lasting relationships, whether that be friends, family or in your marriage. It's the only way to conflict resolve and prevent future issues. If you cannot effectively communicate with your partner, this needs to be addressed!
Feeling Unappreciated
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We all know the feeling, you have gone above and beyond cleaning your home or making a delicious dinner only for it to go unnoticed or without thanks. When our efforts to connect go completely unappreciated, it can leave us feeling worthless.
Less Physical Affection
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Is your love language physical touch? You and me both! When our intimate relationships feel devoid of physical closeness, we can start to feel unloved and less attractive. If you don't want your marriage to fizzle into a friendship, this key element needs to be re-introduced.
Feeling Lonely
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It's a confusing experience, feeling lonely in a committed relationship. Although we know that technically we're not alone, not being seen or connected with is a very isolating experience. If you are feeling completely invisible in your own home, something needs to change.
Avoiding Each Other
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We all need our own space from time to time. Especially the introverts among us will need time daily to decompress and build their energy back up. However, if you feel you and your partner are deliberately avoiding each other for the entire day, you need to ask yourself why.
24/7 Criticism
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When we are being constantly put down by our loved one it can put a huge dent in our self-confidence and completely change the way we see ourselves. If you are ending every day thinking 'I can't do anything right', be sure to bring this up with your partner.
Jealousy
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None of us want our partner to be completely devoid of jealousy, but when it gets to the point that you're scared to talk to others because of what your other half may think, it has gone way too far. We want to feel secure in our marriage, but jealous control is not the way.
No Attempt to Share Interests
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You can absolutely have different passions; we all know that variety is the spice of life! However, you should still feel supported in your individual interests. It is not okay for your loved one to just be rolling their eyes when you bring up your hobby - they need to champion you!
Growing Resentment
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Does everything they do give you the 'ick'? We've all been there, someone we once found absolutely irresistible has somehow become unbearable. If their attitude, viewpoints or just the way they eat is making you constantly irritated, it's time to book in with a couple’s therapist.
Friend-Zoned
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Of course our life partner should also be our best friend, the very strongest relationships are built upon a foundation of firm friendship! However, if you have realized 'friends' are ALL you are, you must make a change... you still deserve that 'spark'.
No Joint Decisions
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Are you the one having to make every single decision? Or equally, are you coming home to find big decisions have already been made for you without your opinion being requested? Frustrating, right? Marriage is a partnership, all your big choices need to be approached as a team.
Financial Disagreements
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There is a reason our finances are the no.1 thing American's hate to talk about. It can feel uncomfortable and embarrassing discussing our spending habits; but if there's one person you HAVE to be open with, it's your partner. Secrecy around finances will only lead to disaster.
Unequal Housework Load
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There is little more frustrating than the realization that you are doing everything around the house. Housework is so called because it is WORK, it's physical labor that uses up your precious time. Therefore, it should be divided equally between you and your spouse - no arguments!
No Support
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Your life partner should be your safety net, you should feel you can always rely on their support when you are going through a hard time. If you have made the realization that your loved one is never there to comfort or lift you up when you need it most, this needs to be discussed.
Feeling Disinterested
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You know how they say it's time to find a new job when you just don't care anymore? Well sadly often the same can be said for relationships. If you have tried everything, the counselling, the romantic holidays etc. and you still feel completely disinterested, you need to take action!
Constant Disappointment
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Do you regularly feel disappointed with your partner? Are they not showing up for you or pulling their weight in the relationship? Well, if you don't want this feeling to completely take over your life you need to address it with them immediately and see if they change.
Going Elsewhere For Validation
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Do you find you are spending your free time with other romantic interests just to get one grain of encouragement and validation? Do you not bother talking to your partner about certain things because they just won't care? You need to communicate with your spouse before it goes too far.
Secrets
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A relationship built on secrecy is never going to last. The healthiest partnerships are grown out of openness and honesty. Now, I’m not saying you have to relay every second of your day to your loved one, but if there are aspects of your life you keep hidden, you need to open up.
No Respect
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You should never feel disrespected by your life partner, they should honor and uphold you in life, not make you feel small and insignificant. If there is a lack of respect for your time, your opinions, and your personal space - that is just not okay.
They Make You Isolated
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Have you found that since marrying your spouse, you have somehow lost all of those brilliant friends that came to the wedding? If your partner gets angry or irritated when you express a desire to spend time with others and keeps you stuck in the house all day, that is manipulation.
Recurring Issues
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We all have moments of conflict in relationships, it’s only natural. However, if you find the same issues are coming up over and over and can just never be resolved, there is a good chance they never will be. Do you really want to be stuck in a loop forever?
Repetitive Thoughts About Divorce
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Have you found that recently your daydreams all follow the same theme? If you are thinking about returning to single life and seriously considering the logistics of divorce several times a day, it sounds as though your subconscious is trying to tell you something.
Emotional Abuse
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If you feel that your partner's emotions control your entire life, it's time to take stock. Walking on eggshells in your own home to avoid manipulative outbursts is not a safe environment to stay in. If you feel constantly unsure of what is the truth and what is gaslighting - leave.
Neglecting Your Children's Needs
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Deciding to have children was probably the most important decision of your life. If your partner's behaviour is negatively effecting or even scaring your little ones or if they just seem completely disinterested in being a parent, you deserve better.
Physical Abuse
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Physical abuse is NEVER acceptable, but we understand it's not always easy to leave. If you are scared of the person, it can be terrifying to make that step. I hope you never find yourself in this position but if you do, contact a loved one that you trust and let them help you.
Infidelity
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We are all adults here, we know people aren't perfect but for many of us, infidelity is a game changer. Knowing that your partner has deliberately gone behind your back and cheated on you and disregarded the beautiful life you had made together is a heart-wrenching feeling.
Not Meeting Your Needs & Desires
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We can often find ourselves deferring to our partners wants and desires, after all isn't that what makes a good wife? Well, not if they are not prepared to do the same for you! You deserve to have your needs met just as much as they do - you are an absolute CATCH, start acting like one!
No Plans for The Future
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One of the most exciting parts of entering into a long-term relationship is planning for the future. Where you should move to, your next travel location, adopting a pet cat etc. Looking to the future as a couple should feel like a positive thing, not something you try to avoid!