Signs Of Obsessive Love Disorder That Shouldn’t Be Ignored

By molly atherton 4 months ago

1. What is Obsessive Love Disorder?

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Obsessive Love Disorder, or OLD, is a psychological condition where an individual becomes fixated on another person.  It is a serious condition and is not as flattering as it sounds, in fact, the fixation the individual has on the other person is often to an unhealthy and even intrusive extent.  It manifests in different ways from person to person but it commonly presents in an individual with the psychological condition as overwhelming and obsessive fixations which might be romantic, sexual, or even controlling in nature.Original content sourced from Femanin.com

2. What are the common signs to look out for?

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Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is not currently widely recognized by health professionals across the US and therefore not often diagnosed.  However, it is important to have an awareness of Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) because, according to mental health professionals, it could actually signal other mental health challenges that the individual might be experiencing.  So we are going to highlight some of the common symptoms that are widely associated with the disorder that tend to surround control and extreme thoughts and behavior.

3. Constant monitoring

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According to professionals, when someone has an obsession with somebody else, this could be Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).  And one way obsessions present themselves is when the individual cannot stop themselves from constantly monitoring the other person.  They might engage in incredibly intrusive behaviors such as constantly checking their social media profiles, tracking their movements, or even going as far as to obtain access to their accounts so they can monitor their personal and private communication.

4. Possessive behavior

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Another way that Obsessive Love Disorder presents itself is through incredibly possessive behavior.  The individual might display possessive tendencies over another person in order to have them to themselves as it were.  They might attempt to control the other person's actions, whereabouts, or even relationships with others.  And they might do this in an extremely subtle way by perhaps bad-mouthing other people who the person may come into contact with.  This might be in a bid for the individual to have that person all to themselves.

5. Excessive preoccupation

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Now this one may seem obvious, but there is also a symptom of Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) that involves an excessive preoccupation with another person.  The individual becomes incredibly consumed with thoughts and even fantasies about the other person; the object of their affection.  And this means that the individual is very likely to spend an incredibly excessive time thinking about them and perhaps creating fantastical and sensationalized fictions in their heads about them.  And all of this steals time from other aspects of their lives.

6. Jealousy

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With constant monitoring, excessive preoccupation, as well as possessiveness, it is likely that jealousy and insecurity might rear their ugly heads.  Even in the absence of any actual threat or evidence that the other person is going to be unfaithful or betray the individual, the unhealthy behavior as previously mentioned might cause them to create unhelpful scenarios in their heads.  They might see an image on social media or a message on their phone and arrive at an assumption that may cause their jealousy to spiral out of control.  It might also make them feel incredibly insecure and constantly seek reassurance from their partner.

7. Isolation

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Another symptom that might indicate whether an individual is experiencing Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might be when they completely withdraw from social activities and stop contacting their friends and family.  This social isolation and withdrawal could indicate that they are consciously removing themselves from any social situations or activities that will distract them from their sole obsession.  They might therefore only focus on the object of their obsession instead of engaging with anybody else in their lives.

8. Extreme emotional highs and lows

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Another indication that an individual might be experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might also lie within their emotions and how these are presented to the world, as well as how they are dealt with by them.  You might notice that they fluctuate dramatically between extreme highs and lows, oscillating between intense euphoria when things are going their way like when they're receiving attention or affection, to deep despair or anger when they're feeling like they're being rejected or ignored.

9. Manipulative tactics

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When things are not going their way, if the individual resorts to manipulative tactics in order to maintain control or get the other person's attention, this might be an indication that they are experiencing Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).  And classic examples of emotional manipulation, particularly in relationships, whether they're romantic or platonic, might be various forms of emotional blackmail, as well as threats of self-harm.  This is done to gain the attention and affection of the other person or maintain control within that relationship.

10. Stalking tendencies

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As part of the unhealthy behavior that has been commonly found to present as part of an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD), stalking tendencies are also quite usual.  The individual who might be experiencing obsessive love might engage in typical stalking behaviors which might include following the person who is the object of their obsession, as well as showing up uninvited to places.  And along with the constant monitoring, the individual experiencing obsessive love might also tend to gather excessive information about the person's life through their online accounts, movements, and through speaking to their loved ones.  And this is stalking when the gathering of information is excessive and without the person's knowledge or consent.

11. Excessive contact

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As well as constantly monitoring the other person, an individual who may be experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might also make contact with the person on a more than regular basis.  And they might bombard the person with constant calls, texts, DMs, emails, or any other form of communication they can use.  And they might continue to send these excessive messages regardless of whether the other person actually responds to them or not.  This is particularly unhealthy behavior because it may cause distress to the other person, and is also likely to cause distress to the individual sending those messages if they do not receive a reply.  So nobody wins and everybody is at risk of being hurt in some way.

12. Intrusive thoughts

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Intrusive thoughts can be incredibly unpleasant and can really affect your well-being.  It is important to remember that intrusive thoughts are common and whatever they are, they are thoughts and do not define you.  And if a person is experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD), intrusive thoughts might just be a regular occurrence.  And due to the obsession, they are likely to persistently involve the other person, even when the individual is trying to think of something else or get on with other activities that are completely unrelated.

13. Unwillingness to accept rejection

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Another indication that a person might be experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is how they react to rejection.  Despite their advances, if they are rejected by the other person, they might not be able to accept this at all.  This might mean that they are likely to probably continue to pursue the other person, bombarding them with DMs, phone calls, messages, emails, and even handwritten notes... They are incapable of accepting that the relationship is going to go any further and might perhaps refuse to move on from the relationship too.

14. Neglecting personal wellbeing

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If you think a person might have an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) because they are neglecting their own personal well-being, then you're probably right on the money.  You see, those experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) have been found to neglect their own well-being and sacrifice their own needs, interests, and aspirations in order to cater exclusively to the needs and desires of the other person.  And the time their excessive behavior consumes monitoring the person might cause the individual to not take care of themselves.

15. Extreme dependency

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A person with an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might also struggle to find any kind of contentment within themselves, or even within anything external other than the object of their obsession.  In fact, their obsessive love might have made them completely and extremely dependent on that other person for their own happiness, contentment, feelings of self-worth, and even their own emotional stability.  And this is unhealthy and, of course, puts more pressure on that other person to fulfill the individual's needs.

16. Idealization

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You might also notice that they put the object of their obsession on a pedestal, idealizing their qualities and seeing them as absolute perfection embodied.  But the thing is, as they do this, the person experiencing the Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is likely to idealize them so much that they completely overlook the flaws or any of the negative aspects of the person they are obsessed with.  And everyone has flaws, it is just human nature, so seeing someone as perfect is ultimately unhealthy and ultimately delusional.

17. Boundary violations

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Boundaries are healthy elements of our lives that we need to put up ourselves and make clear to other people so that we can live peacefully and harmoniously.  But it is likely that those who are experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might be completely blind to these boundaries, especially those of the other person that they have an obsessive love for.  This means that they're likely to regularly disregard these personal boundaries, and invade the other person's privacy, personal space, or possessions without permission.

18. Distorted perception of reality

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An individual who is experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might also develop an unrealistic and distorted perception of the other person.  They might not only idealize them and see them as utter perfection, as previously mentioned, or they might actually begin, in more extreme cases, to develop an unrealistic and distorted perception of that other person.  And in doing this, they might be likely to project their own fantasies, delusions, and even desires onto them, creating this false image of the person they're obsessed with.

19. Loss of own identity

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A person who is experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might begin to lose their sense of self and who they were before they developed this obsessive love.  Their excessive preoccupation with the other person is likely to make the individual begin to lose a sense of their own identity.  And this is likely because their thoughts, feelings, and actions become completely consumed by their obsessions.  Their whole being becomes completely swallowed up by this obsessive preoccupation with another person.

20. Unable to trust others

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Their distorted perceptions of reality, along with their possible jealousy and insecurity can cause an individual experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) to lose their ability to trust anyone else, particularly the object of their obsession.  They might continuously struggle with trust issues because their insecurity might lead them to believe that the other person is inevitably going to betray them, and they constantly suspect the other person of infidelity.  And the thing is, it is all part of the obsession as they probably don't have any hard evidence, despite believing they do.

21. Exhaustion

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Experiencing, or suffering, from an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is incredibly demanding on a person's well-being.  They are so preoccupied with the other person that all of their time and energy goes into the obsession rather than making any time for themselves or anything else in their lives.  This means that the individual who is experiencing the obsessive love eventually becomes both physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted as a result of their excessive preoccupation and the demands of the obsession.

22. Mood swings

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An individual who suffers from Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) might experience a lot of emotional instability.  In fact, their emotions might be highly unstable and prone to rapid shifts.  This inevitably leads to frequent mood swings that can cause emotional outbursts and even heightened sensitivity.  This is particularly challenging when quickly swinging from one intense emotion to the other, including extreme euphoria and fiery rage.  And they're completely unpredictable too which makes matters even more challenging.

23. Insecurity

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Feeling insecure is also quite common for a person that is experiencing Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).  You see, with their possible unhealthy behaviors, including excessive monitoring, possessive behavior, and constant contact, certain things that they see or receive in response might cause them to create certain fictions in their minds about how the other person is possibly betraying them.  For example, if they are constantly contacting them and don't receive a response, they might wonder what they're actually doing and perhaps assume that they're being unfaithful.  This is just one example but you can see how this behavior can lead to unhealthy thought processes.

24. Impaired daily functioning

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With an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) the obsession can become so huge for the individual that it actually begins to have significant impacts on their daily functioning.  So the individuals' ability to carry out simple and regular daily activities, such as work, school, or other responsibilities can be significantly impaired.  Even the very basic elements of personal care like washing or cleaning their room can even feel pretty impossible too due to their obsession taking up significant amounts of their time, energy, and function.

25. Collecting mementos

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Another sign that someone might be experiencing an Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is that they might collect mementos that are related to the other person.  They might collect photographs and souvenirs so they can remember moments which does not sound out of the ordinary.  However, it becomes obsessive when they actually collect other objects, more unusual things like personal belongings of the other person, or even discarded items including their trash.  And this might all be done in an attempt to stay connected to that person.

26. Vicarious living

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The individual might immerse themselves into the life of the person that they are obsessed with and live vicariously through that person's achievements, experiences, and also even their relationships.  And this can be obviously quite distressing for that person, but the thing is, it can also be incredibly damaging to the individual who is experiencing Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD).  This is because in living vicariously through the other person, they might actually neglect their own personal growth and aspirations.

27. Inability to let go

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The individual might also struggle to actually accept the rejection or the end of the relationship and they just do not know how to let go or know how to want to even let go.  So instead of respecting the other person's wishes and starting to work on their own personal regrowth and healing, they might continue to pursue the other person in various ways.  They might even continue to idealize the person even when it has been made absolutely clear that their feelings are not reciprocated in the slightest.

28. Denial of the problem

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Those with Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) may or may not be conscious of their obsession.  And one thing that they might do is they might deny that they have this obsession and they might even take steps to try to minimize the severity of it.  Even when their behavior has been challenged by others and support has been offered by those that care, as well as from professionals, they might refuse to believe that they have a problem and begin rationalizing their behaviors and refusing to seek any help.

29. Why you should be aware of these signs

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These signs of Obsessive Love Disorder should never be ignored and should always be taken seriously.  Recognizing the signs early could prevent the condition from escalating which would help to look after the individual's emotional wellbeing.  Furthermore, getting help for the individual ensures the safety of all parties involved, as well as helping them to respect personal boundaries and develop healthy relationships.  And seeking help will also reduce the impact the obsession has on the individual's mental health.

30. It is crucial to remember...

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It is really important to remember that Obsessive Love Disorder (OLD) is actually a serious mental health condition that needs understanding and support.  By recognizing the signs early, an individual can then take proactive steps to seek help, protect their well-being, and learn about and foster healthy relationships.  And it is important to remember that professional guidance from a mental health practitioner can really help the individual to address Obsessive Love Disorder as well as its effects.

31. Extreme anxiety when they're not available

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Those with Obsessive Love Disorder feel extreme anxiety when they are not in the company of this person. In fact, if they are away for a significant amount of time this person will feel extremely anxious and may overthink and have very negative thoughts which will spiral in their mind. they will be counting down the time until they can see them again!

32. Losing interests in hobbies

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When someone is suffering with obsessive love disorder they may totally lose their sense of self and their own sense of identity. All of the things that make them them may be dropped for this person. For example, the person experiencing the disorder may then abandon all of their old interests and hobbies because they are totally consumed by this person.

33. Desperation to maintain the relationship no matter what

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They will also feel a completely sense of desperation to maintain the relationship or whatever relationship they have created and idealised. They may go to extreme lengths to try and maintain this, even trying to become a person that they think this person wants, rather than the person that they truly are. They'll do anything to maintain the love or relationship with this person.

34. Spending way too much money on them

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Obsessive love disorder is serious and can lead the person to go to extreme lengths and do things that could even harm themselves, financially for example. They may spend all of their money on them, trying to do anything to win over their love or gain some kind of attention or emotion from them. They would be willing to lose their own financial stability all for this person.

35. Watching their social media constantly

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It's so easy to get consumed with social media, constantly looking at someone we are romantically involved with. But this is unhealthy and when this is consuming their life, it's a sign that they are obsessed. This person may have all the notifications turned on for their social medias to alert them of any posts and they may waiting for any kind of glimpse of them on their social media.

36. Feeling a monopoly over that person

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When someone has obsessive love disorder they feel a sense of monopoly over that person, like they have a right to them and a monopoly over their time, emotions and even who they spend their time with. This sense of entitlement to a person can be extremely concerning and it can make the subject of their love feel trapped and claustrophobic, as thought they can't get away.

37. Avoiding conflict with them at any cost

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The person with obsessive love disorder will avoid any kind of conflict with this person, at any cost. They will tread on eggshells around the person so that they don't upset them at any cost. They are so concerned with maintaining this person's esteem and affection that they will let any kind of behaviour slide in order to maintain a positive relationship with them.

38. Fantasizing constantly

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The person with obsessive love disorder may find themselves fantasizing non-stop about this other person, creating false and idealistic fantasies about this person. These fantasies can consume them, taking over every single waking thought. They will dream about being with them, and fantasizing about the perfect and ideal relationship with them that is not a reflection of the reality.

39. Self-destruct mode

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This person may fully hit self-destruct mode. When someone has obsessive love disorder it is important to spot the signs because it can consume a person, and cause them to go into self-destruct mode. They will neglect their own personal needs, their own relationship, and essentially watch all of their own life suffer as a result of them focusing solely on this one person.

40. A continuous fear of rejection

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Another common symptom of somebody with obsessive love disorder is a constant fear of rejection. they are continuously apprehensive that they will be rejected by this person, and constantly in fear that they will let them down or that they will not be loved by this person. The fear of rejection can lead to them seeking constant positive validation from them.

41. Ignoring all red flags

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One of the concerning signs of obsessive love disorder is that this person will ignore all the red flags that they have been shown from the subject of their desire. No matter what kind of red flags or bad traits have been evidently displayed to them, they will ignore it because they have created a perfected and ideal image of this person in their mind and anything negative will be excused.

42. Love bombing

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When someone has obsessive love disorder they will throw themselves into a relationship wholeheartedly, blindly...and to the extreme. they will begin love bombing this person because they truly feel this way, or believe that they feel this way at this point in time. Because they are suffering form a mental health condition, their behaviour may exceed the norm.

43. Clinging to false hope and signs

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Any kind of positive word, any moment of kindness or positive word can be distorted by someone with obsessive love disorder. To them, this is a sign that the person they are in love with, loves them back. They may make perceive all kinds of things s signs which give them hope, even if these signs were not intentional or may not have even occurred.

44. Feeling entitled to their time

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Obsessive love disorder can also lead to someone feeling entitled to their time. So when this person is seeing somebody or doing something of their own accord in their own time, it can actually make them angry as they believe that they have a right to their time and they believe all of their time should be spent focused on them, as they do! They would put all of their time into this person.

45. Constantly seeking validation

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This person with obsessive love disorder will want constant validation, they will seek out this person's validation and it may start to consume them, becoming the only thing that can make them happy or spark positive emotions because they have become so revolved around this other person. So they might start seeking our validation wherever possible.

46. Apologizing all the time

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This person may find themselves apologizing all of the time, when they should not be apologizing. They may be apologizing for things that they haven't even done, or for things they haven't done wrong OR even for the other person's behaviour. So this person may become very unsure of themselves and insecure about how they are acting ad they are so conscious of making this person is happy.

47. Being impulsive to get their attention

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Obsessive Love Disorder can lead people to do  extreme things. They may even become super impulsive and act out to try and do whatever it takes to gain their attention and to be able to get some kind of emotion from the person. It can be worrying because the mental health disorder can skew this person's perception of what is actually right and what is safe.

48. Trying to fix their problems

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The person with obsessive love disorder may find themselves trying to fix all of the problems of the person they have developed the attachment to. Their problems will become the problems of the sufferer, and it will even take over their own in order of priority. They will do everything they are capable to fix them, even if it is something they have perceived themselves as needing to be foxed.

49. Creating false scenarios in their head

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Reality becomes a complete distortion with obsessive love disorder. The love in their mind is created into a false illusion. What is actually there is not what is in the mind of the person suffering form the disorder. So they will create false scenarios in their head, particularly when they are not with this person. These could be good or bad, or even extreme scenarios which the person may find difficult to separate from reality.

50. Getting physical symptoms as a result

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Obsessive Love Disorder is a mental health disorder, yet it can manifest itself in a range of various physical symptoms. When somebody is experiencing such strong feelings of anxiety continuously (which is extremely common with obsessive love disorder) then these can come out in physical symptoms such as sickness and nausea, fatigue, dizziness and much more.