You Can't Rely On Them
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If someone is in your life for whatever reason then you want to know that you're able to rely on them to help you when you're at your lowest, or simply when you just need a helping hand. The most untrustworthy people will lead you in to thinking that they're always at your side but when it comes down to the moment you need someone they go back on their words and leave you out to dry. Trust me (and I'm trustworthy) you can do much better than settling for these kinds of people in you lives, I promise you.Original content sourced from Femanin.com
You Catch Them Lying
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What bigger and more obvious sign can someone give you that they're untrustworthy than if you simply catch them lying to you. Realistically, in any form of relationship you have with someone you should both be willing to be honest and truthful with one another or your entire relationship could begin to be wholly built on a pile of lies. If you catch someone lying to you it's up to you as to how you deal with them, many people cut them off then and there but you're in your rights to give them a second chance.
They Can't Trust You
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Not only do you need to be able to trust people in your life, but they also have to be able to trust you. And if you find yourself to be a trusting kind of person but someone you know can't manage to be as trusting towards you then it might be a sign that they can't actually be trusted themselves. This is exaggerated even more if you're the sort of person that other people often come to, don't let someone else's shortcomings put you down though. It should be noted that some people really do struggle opening up!
Their Story Always Changes
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One of the most common ways that someone can show that they're untrustworthy is by never being able to tell the same story more than once. You might end up noticing that something they've told you in the past is false and when you pull them up on it they might not be able to tell you the same story again or it might end up contradicting what they said before, or what you actually know to be the truth. Always keep an eye on the minute details these could be the tell. Try and nail them on their lies and then don't let them back in!
A Lack Of Empathy
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It's probably impossible for someone to be empathetic and not trustworthy, so if you notice someone struggles to be empathetic towards you or somebody else then you might want to steer clear of them. Genuinely without any form of empathy how can they look after your feelings, look after any pain you're feeling or you're about to go through and how can they realistically support you? We build our lives based on the fact that the people around us are those we can trust so, no empathy means a no go in my eyes.
They Try To Control Conversations
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Relationships have to come with an equal sense of being between people within a relationship, not just people who are partners but also groups of friends. An untrustworthy person is always going to prefer to be the center of attention as negative traits always follow other negative traits around! How can you come to trust someone if they spend their whole time with you trying to overpower you in conversations? Practice working on this with people and if they're unable to share the discourse then maybe it's time to dip!
They Don't Accept They're Wrong
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One trait you don't want in a friend, family member or future partner is someone who can't accept when they're in the wrong. It isn't nice having to accept that you're the one in the wrong but if you want to be a positive aspect in someone's life then you need to be willing to suffer the consequences when you do make a mistake. If someone won't accept they're wrong once then they're probably going to do it again in the future and that will only lead to more problems. Get out whilst you can!
It's Always Your Fault
Not only are untrustworthy people unable to take the blame for themselves they might try and deflect this blame on to you in order to try and save themselves from the blame. Essentially, in their eyes, they can't do anything wrong, so if something does go wrong then it has to be a problem on your end and not their own! Don't let someone you know play the victim card when you've also witnessed them doing the same thing to you or other people, you're only feeding them fake feelings.
They Get Defensive
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One of the most common ways to see that someone is lying and therefore is untrustworthy is when you pull them up on it they might get very defensive! Naturally, as I've mentioned, people can get quite uncomfortable when having to admit their wrongdoings, but someone with an ounce of trust in them will open up and admit it. If instead you notice they get defensive towards you, maybe they try and twist the truth and put the blame on you then it's almost 100% a sure fire way to know you can't really trust them!
You Feel Uncomfortable Around Them
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Although it can be difficult to determine who is and who isn't trustworthy there are a number of things you can do to realise this sooner than you might think. In fact, you might even know someone is untrustworthy without consciously realising they're that kind of person! Have you ever come across a person and instantly felt that feeling of unease? Well that might be your body (and your brain) telling you that they don't trust this person. You might want to just trust your gut on this one (they aren't all like Rudy!).
They Make You Anxious
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I suppose feeling anxious and uncomfortable can go hand in hand with one another but there is a slightly noticeable difference between the two. Anxiety can be hard to self-diagnose as we most commonly understand our feelings of anxiousness with the phenomenon known as butterflies. Butterflies, if you're like me, tend to suggest that I'm feeling nervous around a particular person or a certain thing that I'm going to have to do. You'll know however if these butterflies are coming as a positive or a negative!
They Keep Secrets
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If you want a relationship with anyone in your life, the most important thing is that you are 100% honest with one another. Without honesty you'll always be clouded by what it is they could possibly be hiding and you'll never know the true them. Demand that someone is honest with you and if they can't tell you the secrets they have then it might be a sign that they're actually untrustworthy. What should they have to hide from you? If you're a friend or partner then they should be able to trust you no matter what!
Pretending To Be Someone Else
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One of the most important factors in any relationship is the fact that you have to be yourself, if you portray a fake version of yourself then you can't be trusted, am I right? Even if the people around you make you feel small you should never be ashamed to be yourself so if you notice someone seems to be faking their life away then it might be better to steer clear from them. You might notice someone is pretending to be someone else if they act differently around you alone to the way they act around a group of other people.
Communication Struggles
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This can be one of the most common traits of someone that you might not be able to trust. They might turn to trying to confuse you or use awkward points in order to stop you from realising that they actually just can't communicate what they want to you. Essentially, they'd rather keep you guessing than give you some clear answers. And let's be honest, just like with honesty in a relationship, if there isn't clarity between you and the other people in your life how can you be expected to trust someone? Don't let them get away with it!
They Don't Understand Boundaries
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Boundaries can be an important thing to set when you develop any form of new relationship; the best time to do this is right at the start of the relationship so they know what is and what isn't acceptable when it comes to what you do and don't like. Someone who might be untrustworthy may choose to ignore what it is that you're suggesting to them, whether your boundaries be physical, like not wanting to get too close to someone or emotional where they play with your feelings. Boundaries are more than important!
They Try To Control Your Feelings
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Another sign someone is untrustworthy is when it seems as though they're trying to dictate how it is your feeling. If they're telling you you're being silly even though you feel uncomfortable that's probably a sign that you don't want to be around this person anymore! Don't let anyone manipulate you in to not seeing what it is they're doing to you. Let's be honest, your feelings are your feelings for a reason and no one should be able to control this part of you. Again please listen to your gut in this instance.
You Can't Predict What They'll Do Next
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If someone is untrustworthy it can be difficult to narrow down exactly what it is that they want with you and what it is they plan to do in the future. I'm not suggesting that all of us know everything we're going to do in the future because that would be immature, but when it comes to how things might affect other people then your actions should always be measured. Again, how can you come to trust someone if their behaviour is so erratic that you don't know whether or not your coming or going with them!
They Go Over The Top
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One common trait of someone you might be unable to trust properly is someone who might regularly go over the top with something. This could be them physically going over the top like buying you presents (big ones at that) at an uncontrollable rate or maybe they keep praising you an alarming rate for things that aren't necessarily worth being praised for. This can add to your feeling of becoming to feel uncomfortable around them. Don't let someone mask their untrustworthiness with gifts or praise.
They Have No Integrity
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Integrity is an important trait for anyone to have and it is also a trait very common with someone you know you can trust. So if you sense someone has a lack of integrity then maybe you want to rid yourselves of them as soon as you possibly can! In other words, if you catch someone in the act but give them a second opportunity, but they throw it in your face acting with little remorse, that's a sign of low integrity. They might also break promises regarding little things like spending time with you not telling people things!
Your Feelings Don't Matter
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You should always feel comfortable telling your family, friends or partner that something they're doing really makes you feel uncomfortable, and that shouldn't affect your relationship in any form. However, someone who might be deemed as untrustworthy might end up ignoring what you say and continue doing what it is that's causing you issues. And ultimately the reason they do this is because it doesn't really bother them, its only their feelings that are important to them and yours take a back seat.
Inconsistent Emotions
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This kind of goes hand in hand with mood swings, but I want to make it clear that the mood swings don't just have to be aimed at you. One of the most common giveaways of someone being untrustworthy is by pitting their behaviour around you with their behaviour around others in social situations. Essentially if they seem to be the sort of person that's unable to calm themselves down without having to, for lack of a better term, blow up, then you probably shouldn't be trusting them too much!
Come Across As Charming
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Finding a romantic partner or very close friend can actually be quite difficult when you put a lot of effort in to it. And unfortunately some people like to take advantage of what it is they see in us, and try to benefit off what they see as desperation in us. In other words, they try to charm us in to thinking that they're the person we're looking for at that particular moment in time! If for one moment you begin to believe that someone is charming you and not being genuine then you should probably listen to your gut.
They Hide Their Phone From You
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Now I'm not one for the idea that if you're in a relationship that you must share everything with each other, there are slithers of our lives that we like to keep to ourselves. But if you notice that someone in your life likes to purposely hide their phone from your sight, or other items of possession it might be a sign that they actually have something to hide from you! Realistically, unless it's something very damaging to your view of them or that could get them in to trouble why would they go through all the hassle?
They Want To Move Too Fast
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This one is related more to a romantic relationship than any other form of friendship, but if someone is trying to develop your relationship faster than you're used to it can be a worrying sign! Although it might make it look like they REALLY like you, it should also trigger some alarms in your head as they might be trying to rush past things you might dislike about them or secrets they don't want you to find out! Someone else being impulsive might end up causing you more harm than you ever deserve to feel!
They Maintain Eye Contact Permanently
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One habit that has become known to be synonymous with people who are untrustworthy or manipulative is that they often intensely stare at you. You know that awkward moment when you catch eye contact with someone and have to instantly look away? Well that's one of the issues that someone might end up finding with someone that's untrustworthy. Some scientists believe that this is an attempt for them to test how far past your personal boundaries they can push before they make you feel uncomfortable.
Constant Mood Swings
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We've already covered that an untrustworthy person can't take the blame for things and they get defensive, but this can also lead to them becoming incredibly defensive towards you. Essentially the mood they're projecting towards you can shift in the click of a finger! These swings could be from positive to negative or vice versa and you might want to avoid them during the specific times mood swings seem to be happening. If someone transforms in to somebody else through their mood swings they probably aren't someone you want in your life.
They Come Across Disconnected
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Although we've mentioned that an intense sense of eye contact can be a sign of untrustworthiness, so can someone appearing disconnected towards you! You have to understand that not everyone can make eye contact, it can be quite a damaging experience for some people that are very anxious! But, if you would describe someone as having a blank facial expression then you might realise that they are displaying narcissistic and untrustworthy behaviours. Distinguish why they can't look at you first though!
They Open Up Too Much Too Soon
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Again this can appear quite contradictory when we've already discussed how an untrustworthy person might be unwilling to trust anyone at all. But another sign that you might be unable to trust someone is when they start spilling all of their secrets to you in the weeks after first meeting you! This can be evidence that they actually don't have any control over their own emotions or feelings and they're trying to use you as a way to protect themselves. If they aren't open with you about this it can become overwhelming quickly.
They're Rude!
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If someone is constantly being rude to you then you probably don't want to commit to having them around you all the time; that might be for the best as it could suggest you can't trust them either! This is a very manipulative trait that often comes in narcissists and untrustworthy people and they often use this technique in order to make you feel less worth than you truly should. Besides why would you put up with a person that treated you that badly anyway, do what's best for you and get rid of them now!
They Don't Like Your Friends
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Okay, so you don't have to like everyone that this other person in your life does and vice versa for them and your other friends of family. But if they then take this to a whole other level and try and get you to turn against these people then you definitely can't trust them. People might do this for a whole bunch of reasons like trying to keep you away from others (this can be a way to manipulate you in to only spending time with them) and they might dislike your friend, partner or family member so much that they try to ruin the whole relationship.