Signs Of A Fake Friend

By Nick Hadji 10 months ago

1. They Tend To Be Negative (A Lot)

Image Source / DepositphotosNo matter what you talk to them about or tell them about in regard to what's going on with you, they have to put a negative spin on it. They'll always find the more pessimistic viewpoint of some good news or they'll try to put you down.Original content sourced from Femanin.com

2. They're Envious Of You

Image Source / Collins DictionaryWhen something goes right in your life or you have a lot to celebrate, a great friend will be extremely happy for you. With a fake friend, this turns more into envy. They may pretend to be happy for you whilst boiling with envy inside, or they may vocalise it a little bit and try to demean what you've achieved whilst planning to ruin it for you.

3. They're Often Talking About Other People Behind Their Back

Image Source / PsychaliveIf 99% of the time you spend with your friend is them talking negatively about someone they know, it's highly likely they also do the same about you to other people. Or if they don't, they're obviously the type of person who would have no problem doing that if you did something to upset them.

4. They Love To Be Flaky And Cancel Plans

Image Source / RedditSometimes life gets in the way and plans have to be cancelled. It doesn't mean you have a bad friend - but it does mean this if your friend is constantly cancelling plans all the time or changing their mind last minute. It means they think they've got something better to do or don't consider plans with you high on their priority list.

5. But If You Cancel Plans, They'll Make You Feel Bad

Image Source / PopBuzzIt's okay for them to cancel plans all the time, but the second you have to cancel and let them down, they make sure you feel bad about it. A lot of this can be about them being envious about what you have going on, so to them, a cancelled plan means they're angry you have something better to do that doesn't involve them.

6. They Always Have To One-Up You

Image Source / Fisher College of Business - The Ohio State UniversityGot a promotion? Doesn't matter, because they got a better promotion. Moving into a new home? Doesn't matter, their house costs more than yours. Got a new relationship you're excited about? Doesn't matter, because they've met someone who's better than your partner.

7. They Make You Feel Inferior

Image Source / Piyush MehtaA lot of people who like to drag other people down are often insecure themselves. They have to make you feel inferior so that they can feel superior. They also need to have lots of friends at once so they can feel popular. So you may find they go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself.

8. They're Passive-Aggressive

Image Source / GrammarlyBackhanded compliments are this person's go-to. They're never really horrible or rude to you, because that would be too obvious. Instead, they try to be nice, but there's an underlying negative tone to everything they say and you may realise they're actually being quite mean in a subtle way.

9. They Don't Think They're Ever Wrong

Image Source / SintellyThey'll never, ever admit that they're wrong. So you can often find yourself up against a brick wall if you're trying to prove yourself right. Never wait for an apology or for them to admit they made a mistake, because it'll never happen. If anything goes wrong, they'll look for a way to wriggle out of it and blame somebody else.

10. They Always Seem To Be Involved In Drama

Image Source / Hack SpiritAnd a lot of the time this will be their own doing, because they'll probably thrive on creating drama, whether intentionally or not. If they're being a fake friend to lots of different people, chances are they're creating drama with the same people, too. They might complain to you about fallouts they're having with others.

11. They Always Seem To Have New Friends On The Go

Image Source / Mom.comFake friends need to be stocked up on other friends just in case they get found out or when they decide you're disposable. They might have a constant never-ending circle of new friends or new people to meet and then pick and choose who means the most to them, and when.

12. They're Using You

Image Source / Stylecraze

There might be a very specific reason they're trying so hard to be a great friend to you. They might be after something, like access to someone you know who they're interested in, or you have something in your life that benefits them, whether through your pastimes or your career.

13. They're Often Short-Tempered

Image Source / QuoraA fake friend will become very annoyed if you don't do what they expect you to do. They have a way of making you feel inferior, or trying to control you in a way that benefits them - so if you don't react the way they want, they'll react in an impatient and short manner with you.

14. They're Different Depending On Who They're Talking To

Image Source / AC StudiesYou may have noticed that their entire personality switches depending on who they're talking to. With you, they may be negative, angry and overbearing, but they may suddenly become positive, smiley and easy-going when they meet someone else.

15. They Resent Your Growth

Image Source / BuzzFeedFake friends are often found out during a period of great change, such as when you're getting older. If you're at a stage where you want to move, try a new job or try new experiences in life, they may resent that growth and not support you in it because it means a change for them.

16. They're Only There For You During The Good Times

Image Source / Sub5zeroA genuine friend will be there for you no matter what, and most particularly through the hard times. You can usually spot a fake friend if they're never there for you when you're struggling with something, whether emotionally or in a sticky circumstance. They're the one person you can't depend on to ask for help.

17. They're Always Ready To Talk You Out Of Things You Want To Do

Image Source / YahooGoing to a friend to ask for advice is normal, but you might always get the same advice from this particular friend - and that's to not do whatever you're thinking of doing. Whether it's a vacation, applying for a job or going on a date, they'll be ready to tell you not to. Because they don't want you to succeed. This comes back to them being envious again.

18. They've Never Defended You

Image Source / wikiHowYou need to know that your friends always have your back. But when dealing with a fake friend, they most probably won't. This is because they don't care enough to defend you if it doesn't benefit them. If they're particularly nasty, they might like that you're being made to look bad.

19. They Don't Answer Your Calls Or Texts

Image Source / SoundCloudThis is because they only contact you when it's on their terms. So if you call or message them off your own bat, even just to send a silly meme, they probably won't answer because they weren't the one who decided to contact you.

20. They Never Commit To Plans

Image Source / BuzzFeedThey're always so hesitant to give a definite yes to plans because they either don't intend to keep them, or they're waiting for something better to come up. They only commit to plans if it's something that benefits them, or if they have nothing better to do.

21. You Might Feel Like You've Lost Confidence Because Of Them

Image Source / The Treatment SpecialistCompliments from fake friends can have you feeling all kindsa ways and have you dealing with self-doubt. Because sometimes a fake friend won't tell you when you look nice, and other times they'll tell you that you look fantastic when you don't in order to make themselves look better in comparison - not to boost your self-esteem.

22. You Always Have This Weird Feeling In Your Gut

Image Source / Calm MomentYour gut is great at telling you things, which is why you should listen to it. If you always just have this weird feeling something is up with your 'friend' then it's a sign you know, deep down, what's going on. You'd never have a constant weird feeling in your gut with a genuine friend that cares about you.

23. They'll Make Entire Conversations About Them

Image Source / Healthline

You may find every time you speak to them, the entire conversation is about them and you can't get a word in edgeways. Or if you can, they'll turn it back into something about them. They might ask how how your day has been just to get that out of the way so they can start talking about the thing they really want to talk about: themselves.

24. They Don't Associate With The Word 'Sorry'

Image Source / Thesaurus.comApologies just aren't something they do, because they don't believe they're ever wrong. If they're ever trying to own up to something, you might get a sort of half-attempt at an apology without the word 'sorry' ever been used. It might be more along the lines of 'Yeah okay you have a point, but....'

25. They'll Always Get Caught Out In A Lie In The End

Image Source / LooperAt the end of the day, lies come back to haunt you, and with a fake friend who's constantly lying, the truth is bound to come out one way or the other, even if it's just a little white lie. And when they're caught out, will they own up to it? Nope. They'll just try to cover it up even more.

26. They'll Judge You And Try To Change Your 'Flaws'

Image Source / WikipediaThey may think they're being supportive, but it's not supportive if they take your 'flaws' and tell you how you can change yourself or do better. They might judge you for your insecurities and then try to act as though there's something wrong with you that you need to change - and they'll help you change it, because they're so supportive, obviously.

27. They'll Tease Every Accomplishment You Make

Image Source / PREVNetAnd we don't mean playful teasing - we mean actual teasing, for anything you succeed in, because they're ready to drag you down. They won't be happy for you if you want to celebrate something, they'll just make sure you know how many small digs they're prepared to make.

28. They're Always Offloading Their Problems Onto You

Image Source / WIREDThey'll talk to you when they want to talk to you, which most of the time is when they want to offload emotionally onto you. You'll try to help and give them advice but ultimately it doesn't matter because they don't listen to you or any advice you give, you're just there for them to dump on and then leave the conversation when it's out of their system.

29. They Want Your Attention When They Demand It

Image Source / LovePankyThey don't respect your life, your schedule or your boundaries, because when they want to talk to you, they expect you to be there at the drop of a hat. If you don't answer their calls or messages immediately, or aren't available to meet up when they want, then they'll be annoyed.

30. And They'll Hate It If You Call Them Out For Being A Fake Friend

Image Source / Counsellor Who CaresAnd the worst part? If you actually call them out for being a fake friend and tell them about all the bad things they're doing, they'll be angry and won't accept it. Even though they know it's the truth, they're never going to admit it and that's when the anger and defensiveness kicks in.

31. They Enjoy Gossip (And They're Always Looking For It)

Image Source / The Quinnipiac ChronicleWhen you spend time with this friend, you may find that they're always digging for some kind of gossip or information from you, about anyway. Maybe when you bring up a person they may also try and encourage gossip about them.

32. You Don't Like The Person You Are Around Them

Image Source / Click2HoustonYou may feel like you're treading on eggshells if you be yourself around them, so you have to be someone different. You might need to be the person they expect you to be, and also feel uncomfortable or on edge every time you're around them. You find that you don't feel right about the person you have to be around them.

33. If They Make Promises, They Break Them

Image Source / Ladue NewsWhen friends make a promise to you, it should mean something - that's how you build trust and friendship. So if this friend is constantly making promises to you that they're never, ever going to keep - over and over again - they're obviously not committed enough to want to do the thing they're promising to do.

34. You Can Just Sense The Fakeness

Image Source / WomenWorkingYou know when there's just something about a person that makes you think they're being insincere when you're with them? It's that gut feeling again. Maybe you already know, deep down, that they're just oozing fake friend vibes and that's why you're looking for signs to look for online.

35. You've Actually Had Other People Tell You They Talk About You

Image Source / The Daily BeastAs well as gossiping with you, or talking about other people behind their back, you may have also had other people tell you that your 'friend' talks about you all the time in a negative light when you're not around. This point alone is enough to prompt you to reconsider the friendship!

36. You Always Have This Feeling That You Can't Trust Them

Image Source / Psychology TodayYou should always be able to trust your friends. So if you're constantly finding yourself up against a brick wall of 'But can I trust them with this?' when you need to ask them something, tell them something or get help from them, it just shows that the trust is in doubt.

37. They're Selfish

Image Source / DiveThruYou may find that 99% of the time - or even 100% of the time - everything is one-sided with them. They want to talk about what they want to talk about, do what they want to do, and they're completely focused on themselves within the friendship with little time for what you want.

38. There's Always Some Kind Of Drama Kicking Off

Image Source / Wikimedia CommonsTrue friendships should have very little drama. That isn't to say things can't happen and problems can't arise, but there's a difference between issues every now and again compared to every single thing being a huge drama. You may find that everything your friend does or gets involved with is this huge drama.

39. They're Possessive Of You

Image Source / LovePanky

You might find that there's a quick change in your friend's tone or behaviour when you spend time with other people, or start talking about other friends with them. They may go a little more quiet and short with you, and you may get a vibe that something is off. They're likely disapproving of you spending time with others.

40. You Feel A Lot Of Pressure To Make Them Happy

Image Source / BuzzFeed
You may have realised that a lot of the time you're 'chasing' this friend, such as sending them messages or checking in with them only to wait a long time for them to get back to you. They likely do this on purpose to make themselves feel needed by you, and make you wait so that your value seems less than theirs.

41. They Love The Sound Of Their Own Voice

Image Source / A Lust For LifeAnd especially when it's talking about their favourite topic: themselves! You may find that no matter what you're talking about, they always manage to turn the conversation back on themselves, about themselves, or back to something they can relate to.

42. They Remember All Your Mistakes (And They'll Remind You Of Them Too)

Image Source / Robert HalfEverybody makes mistakes, and good friends will forgive, forget and not remind you of that fact. But with this friend, they may randomly bring up something wrong you did a million years ago because they don't forget and like to hold a grudge if they feel they want to - even if they've said they've forgiven you.

43. They Always Need Something From You

Image Source / Inside CroydonOf course, real friendships mean supporting each other and sometimes needing something from each other. But a fake friend will always seem to need something from you, like you're constantly at their beck and call. You may find that they only ever reach out when they want something from you.

44. They're Always In Competition With You

Image Source / Psychology TodayStemming from their need to be the best and also from a place of envy, a fake friend may constantly make friendship with you a conversation. This could be anything you do or say that they always have to go one better than you with.

45. They Always Drain Your Energy

Image Source / WIREDDo you find yourself completely exhausted every time you have to deal with them? Whether in person or just through messages or phone calls? If you feel drained after every interaction, it's a sign that it's not evenly split and that they're taking up more of the focus and time.

46. They're Often Disrespectful To You

Image Source / wikiHowThis could mean outright disrespect, like in the way they speak to you or what they call you, or it could be disrespectful of any boundaries you've set down. They might not respect that you've asked for time to yourself and continue to message you anyway, for example.

47. This Type Of Behaviour Has Been Happening On A Loop

Image Source / PNGWingMaybe you've been friends with them for years and years and this is the way they've always acted, or you're only recent friends but been up against this behaviour through every interaction. Either way, if there's been absolute no change in this type of behaviour from them, it looks like they really are just that kind of toxic person.

48. You Very Rarely - If Ever - Have Deep Conversations

Image Source / MomJunctionExcept if it's about them and their feelings, you may find that you very rarely have more deep and personal conversations with this friend. All your conversations might be surface level, as they may seem hesitant or uninterested on getting to know you on a deeper level.

49. They Have A Problem With Your Opinions Or Beliefs

Image Source / MichalsonsNot all people in a friend group will share the same beliefs, views or opinions, but it's all about respecting a friend's viewpoint, even if doesn't match up with your own. A fake friend might make you feel bad or guilty for your opinions or beliefs, or tell you that you're wrong.

50. They Forget Important Dates

Image Source / drupa blogA fake friend won't make the effort to remember dates which are important to you. You may find they forget birthdays, your anniversary or big milestone dates that you usually celebrate. You may get a very belated 'sorry I forgot' when you remind them of it.

51. They Emotionally Blackmail You

Image Source / ThisIsWhyImBrokeOne of your friend's manipulation tactics include emotionally blackmailing you. This means saying things like "If you don't do this then I won't be your friend anymore," or "If you don't come with me I'll tell everyone your biggest secret." Don't fall for their fakery!

52. Your Friendship Is Conditional

Image Source / ThisIsWhyImBrokeA fake friend will only stay in your life under certain conditions. They might ask you to behave a certain way, dress in clothes you don't want to wear, or change your appearance. Don't play into their falsehood, be who you are and tell them where to go.

53. They're Using You To Get Access To Others

Image Source / LovePankyIt has been known that fake friends use their victims only to get closer to other people. This might be because they fancy them, or they're looking to get close to some pretty influential people with money. Beware of the signs and weigh up whether it's you they want or your connections.

54. There's Always Something Better For Them To Be Doing

Image Source / WikiHOWIf you're friend is fake then you just know that when it comes to pre-made plans they will be quick to bail on you for a "better" plan that comes their way. Take heed when your friends start acting this way and ask yourself if they really want to spent time with you.

55. They've Broken Your Trust

Image Source / Autism RoutemapThere's nothing that shouts fake friend more than a friend betraying your trust. It's easy to say that you don't trust them but when they actually break it, that's another thing. They might have spilled a secret about you, taken advantage of you or used you.

56. They Intimidate You

10 Things That Make You Intimidating | Thought CatalogImage Source / Thought CatalogDo you find then when you're in conversations with this alleged fake friend that you feel intimidated by them? It could be that they come across standoffish, speak in a stern tone or give you a menacing look. Consider whether this might be one of their tactics.

57. They're Jealous Of Your Success

Image Source / New Harbinger PublicationWhenever you enjoy a success, like a new job, home or partner, they're quick to put you down and you can see their eyes glowing green with envy. That's because jealous friends are never truly your friend, and it's probably that you can class these mates as fake.

58. They Pull Faces When You Speak To Them

Image Source / iStockFake friends might find it hard to show the ingenuity when having conversations with you, or when you're speaking in a room, and you may notice a look of disgust or disapproval when you're speaking. Try not to let it get you down and keep your head held high.

59. They Behave Like A Fair-Weather Friend

Image Source / WomenWorkingThe Cambridge Dictionary describes a fair-weather friend as "someone who is a good friend when it is easy to be one and who stops being one when you are having problems." You might notice that when you're around each other it feels dishonest and ingenuine.

60. They Love To See You Fail

Bouncing back: What to do if you fail a test - GirlsLifeImage Source / GirlsLifeFake friends will revel in your failure because they're jealous of your successes. If you've had a spout of disappointment in your life, like failing an exam, losing a job, or experiencing a traumatic event, fake friends will not try to hide their pleasure.

61. They Embarrass You In Front Of Your Friends

Image Source / CafeMom.comThere's nothing worse than those friends who just love to embarrass you in front of your other friends. They might make jokes at your expense, laugh at your previous trauma or expose deep secrets about you to an entire room, making you feel inferior and small.

62. They Steal Your Crush

Image Source / Power of PositivityBe careful who you divulge your lust for your crush to. Fake friends might make it their absolute mission to steal your crush from you and make sure that they're the one who ends up in a relationship with them. Have you noticed this among any of your friends?

63. They Speak Badly Of You

Image Source / LiveboldandbloomYou've noticed that, whether you're there or not, fake friends are quick to talk ill of you in front of other people. They're constantly bashing you for no reason and you have no idea why... sometimes there is no reason. Fake friends can be deeply unhappy and need someone to talk smack about.

64. It Never Seems Like They're Listening

Image Source / The Good Men ProjectYou're having a conversation and you can just tell by the reactions of your friend that they are not bothered and not listening to anything you say. It makes you feel small and in the end you just resort to not saying anything at all. Don't let them get the better of you!

65. They Act Like A Spoiled Brat

Image Source / New York PostFake friends will often stomp their feet and moan until they get their own way. They essentially exhibit traits of being a spoiled brat. It's a tactic to enable them to get their own way, and often they react so badly that you just agree with them for the easy life.

66. They Talk Over You

Image Source / New ScientistFake friends will make no effort not to talk over you and will make sure you are the quietist person in the room. It doesn't make you feel very nice and makes you feel unheard by the rest of the group. They demand the attention of everyone in the room.

67. They Feel Like They Have To One Up You

Image Source / Best LifeFake friends can't bear you having the upper hand in anything and will endeavour to dethrone you from being at the top. So if you've just gone out and bought a new car, they have to have a more expensive car. If you've bought a new phone, they needed the newer model.

68. They Try Their Best To Manipulate You

Image Source / Midland Daily NewsYou can't always tell when a friend is trying to manipulate you as there are many different ways to do it. But if you find that you're always agreeing with them, then have a think about whether they're trying to manipulate you and you're falling into their trap.

69. They Never Accept You For Who You Are

Image Source / Psychology TodayFake friends will constantly be trying to change you and that's because they don't like you. It might be that they're trying to calculate your downfall or change you into the sort of friend that they want to keep in their life. Be warned of the signs.

70. You Can Never Say No To Them

What to Do When You Can't Say No | How to Effectively Say NoImage Source / LivingwellspendinglessFake friends make it seem impossible for you to say no to them, and quite often that's because they simply won't take no for an answer. They will force you to go meet them at the most inconvenient times for you, and that makes things very difficult.

71. They Drain You When You Spend Time With Them

What Is a Social Battery and How to Recharge It as an Introvert?Image Source / The Power of MisfitsFake friends will drain your social battery much more than real friends. When you spend time with them it feels like a lot of effort to keep up the false niceties and you hate that about them. If someone is making you feel this way is it worth keeping them in your life?

72. You Feel Like You Can't Relate To Them

Image Source / Lindsay Currie - MediumNo matter how hard you try, being friends with someone who seems so unreachable to you will make you feel like you can never truly get to know them, never mind relate to their experiences. It might be purposeful, and you might even see that they're divulging personal secrets to others and not to you.

73. They Make You Feel Guilty For Your Own Mistakes

Image Source / HealthShotsEveryone makes mistakes and that's just a part of life, but fake friends will never let you live them down. They'll constantly bring up the mistakes that you've made and try to make you feel like a bad person. Keep your chin up and don't let them get the better of you.

74. They Overstep Your Boundaries

Image Source / iBelieveEveryone has boundaries and that's 100% healthy and okay. But fake friends won't respect your boundaries and will consistently break them in multiple ways. They make take advantage of you emotionally or financially, or constantly invade your personal space.

75. They Have Sabotaged You In The Past

Image Source / SHRMFake friends are the best at sabotaging, whether you can see it or not. If they know you have a crush, they'll make it their aim to debunk it. If you're going for an important job interview, they'll give you all the wrong types of advice. Don't be fooled.

76. They Constantly Try To Get You To Break Up With Your Partner

Image Source / Mark MansonFake friends will want you to themselves, and this means whispering in your ear to get you to break up with your partner. While you should always listen to your friend's advice, be wary when it comes to those fake friends spilling likes and bad advice to you.

77. You Always Contact Them First

Image Source / British CouncilDo you find that whenever you want to see or speak to your mate that you're the one messaging first? Well, while there can be other reasons for this like their personality type or how busy they are, you should never settle for second best and put the friendship to the test by abstaining from contacting them.

78. They're Never Happy Around You

Image Source / StoryblocksHave you ever noticed that when you're around your fake friend that they never actually seem to be happy? While you're engaging in happy conversations and activities, you can see it in their eyes that they don't really enjoy spending time with you and just using you for your company.

79. They Spend Time Gaslighting You

Image Source / Time Business NewsGaslighting seems to be the new phrase that everyone is throwing about. According to verywellmind, gaslighting is a "type of emotional abuse in which the bully or abuser misleads the target, creating a false narrative and making them question their judgements." Essentially, they will paint you to be the wrong one even when you're not.

80. They Disappear Once They Start Dating

Why do people flake out? | CNNImage Source / CNNOnce they get a partner, that's the last that you see of them. We all know couples that are like this and it really makes you question whether your friendship meant anything to them in the first place. Spoiler alert: it probably didn't. Get out now while you still can!