Signs Of A Fake Friend

By molly atherton 4 months ago
Not every ally on this journey is genuine, and discerning the authentic from the counterfeit can be a pivotal aspect of navigating the labyrinth of relationships. Unbeknownst to many, fake friends often camouflage themselves behind smiles and superficial camaraderie.

1. They Tend To Be Negative (A Lot)

No matter what you talk to them about or tell them about in regard to what's going on with you, they have to put a negative spin on it.Image Source / DepositphotosThey'll always find the more pessimistic viewpoint of some good news or they'll try to put you down. Pick your battles wisely to avoid unnecessary conflicts.Original content sourced from

2. They're Envious Of You

When something goes right in your life or you have a lot to celebrate, a great friend will be extremely happy for you. With a fake friend, this turns more into envy.Image Source / Collins DictionaryThey may pretend to be happy for you whilst boiling with envy inside, or they may vocalise it a little bit and try to demean what you've achieved whilst planning to ruin it for you.

3. They're Often Talking About Other People Behind Their Back

If 99% of the time you spend with your friend is them talking negatively about someone they know, it's highly likely they also do the same about you to other people.Image Source / PsychaliveOr if they don't, they're obviously the type of person who would have no problem doing that if you had done something to upset them.

4. They Love To Be Flaky And Cancel Plans

Sometimes life gets in the way and plans have to be cancelled. It doesn't mean you have a bad friend necessarily. But, it does mean this if your friend is constantly cancelling plans.Image Source / RedditOr changing their mind last minute. It means they think they've got something better to do or don't consider plans with you high on their priority list.

5. But If You Cancel Plans, They'll Make You Feel Bad

It's okay for them to cancel plans all the time, but the second you have to cancel and let them down, they make sure you feel bad about it.Image Source / PopBuzzA lot of this can be about them being envious about what you have going on, so to them, a cancelled plan means they're angry you have something better to do that doesn't involve them.

6. They Always Have To One-Up You

Got a promotion? Doesn't matter, because they got a better promotion. Moving into a new home? Doesn't matter, of course, their house costs more than yours.Image Source / Fisher College of Business - The Ohio State UniversityGot a new relationship you're excited about? Doesn't matter, because they've met someone who's so much better than your partner is - and they'll let you know all about it.

7. They Make You Feel Inferior

A lot of people who like to drag other people down are often insecure themselves. They have to make you feel inferior so that they can feel superior.Image Source / Piyush MehtaThey also need to have lots of friends at once so they can feel popular. So you may find they go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself.

8. They're Passive-Aggressive

Backhanded compliments are this person's go-to. They're never really horrible or rude to you, because that would be too obvious, they do it subtly instead.Image Source / GrammarlyInstead, they try to be nice, but there's an underlying negative tone to everything they say and you may realise they're actually being quite mean in a subtle way.

9. They Don't Think They're Ever Wrong

They'll never, ever admit that they're wrong. So you can often find yourself up against a brick wall if you're trying to prove yourself right.Image Source / SintellyNever wait for an apology or for them to admit they made a mistake, because it'll never happen. If anything goes wrong, they'll look for a way to wriggle out of it and blame somebody else.

10. They Always Seem To Be Involved In Drama

And a lot of the time this will be their own doing, because they'll probably thrive on creating drama, whether it seems to be intentional or not.Image Source / Hack SpiritIf they're being a fake friend to lots of different people, chances are they're creating drama with the same people, too. They might complain to you about fallouts they're having with others.

11. They Always Seem To Have New Friends On The Go

Fake friends need to be stocked up on other friends just in case they get found out or when they decide you're disposable. Then they have a back up plan already!Image Source / Mom.comThey might have a constant never-ending circle of new friends or new people to meet and then pick and choose who means the most to them, and when.

12. They're Using You

There might be a very specific reason they're trying so hard to be a great friend to you. They might be after something, like access to someone you know.Image Source / Stylecraze

They might be interested in this person, or you have something in your life that benefits them that they want, whether through your pastimes or your career.

13. They're Often Short-Tempered

A fake friend will become very annoyed if you don't do what they expect you to do. They have a way of making you feel inferior.Image Source / QuoraOr, trying to control you in a way that benefits them - so if you don't react the way they want, they'll react in an impatient and short manner with you.

14. They're Different Depending On Who They're Talking To

You may have noticed that their entire personality completely switches depending on who they're talking to. With you, they may be negative, angry and overbearing.Image Source / AC StudiesBut, they may suddenly become positive, smiley and easy-going when they meet someone else and put on a totally false persona to charm the other person.

15. They Resent Your Growth

Fake friends are often found out during a period of great change, such as when you're getting older. You'll realise they don't want to be there for you!Image Source / BuzzFeedIf you're at a stage where you want to move, try a new job or try new experiences in life, they may resent that growth and not support you in it because it means a change for them.

16. They're Only There For You During The Good Times

A genuine friend will be there for you no matter what, and most particularly through the hard times. You can usually spot a fake friend if they're never there for you.Image Source / Sub5zeroWhen you're struggling with something, whether emotionally or in a sticky circumstance. They're the one person that you can't depend on to ask for help.

17. They're Always Ready To Talk You Out Of Things You Want To Do

Going to a friend to ask for advice is normal, but you might always get the same advice from this particular friend - and that's to not do whatever you're thinking of doing.Image Source / YahooWhether it's a vacation, applying for a job or going on a date, they'll be ready to tell you not to. Because they don't want you to succeed. This comes back to them being envious again.

18. They've Never Defended You

You need to know that your friends always have your back. But when dealing with a fake friend, they most probably won't, especially when you need them.Image Source / wikiHowThis is because they don't care enough to defend you if it doesn't benefit them. If they're particularly nasty, they might like that you're being made to look bad.

19. They Don't Answer Your Calls Or Texts

This is because they only contact you when it's on their terms and when it's convenient for them. It may be worth reevaluating the importance of these friendships in your life.Image Source / SoundCloudSo if you call or message them off your own bat, even just to send a silly meme, they probably won't answer because they weren't the one who decided to contact you.

20. They Never Commit To Plans

They're always so hesitant to give a definite yes to plans because they either don't intend to keep them, or they're waiting for something better to come up.Image Source / BuzzFeedThey only commit to plans if it's something that benefits them, or if they have nothing better to do and they want you to entertain them.

21. You Might Feel Like You've Lost Confidence Because Of Them

Compliments from fake friends can have you feeling all kindsa ways and have you dealing with self-doubt. Because sometimes a fake friend won't tell you when you look nice.Image Source / The Treatment SpecialistBut, other times they'll tell you that you look fantastic when you don't in order to make themselves look better in comparison - not to boost your self-esteem.

22. You Always Have This Weird Feeling In Your Gut

If you always just have this weird feeling something is up with your 'friend' then it's a sign you know, deep down, what's going on.Image Source / Calm MomentYour gut is great at telling you things, which is why you should listen to it. You'd never have a constant weird feeling in your gut with a genuine friend that cares about you.

23. They'll Make Entire Conversations About Them

You may find every time you speak to them, the entire conversation is about them and you can't get a word in edgeways. Or if you can, they'll turn it back into something about them.Image Source / Healthline

They might ask how how your day has been just to get that out of the way so they can start talking about the thing they really want to talk about: themselves.

24. They Don't Associate With The Word 'Sorry'

Apologies just aren't something they do, because they don't believe they're ever wrong. If they're ever trying to own up to something, you might get a sort of half-attempt at an apology.Image Source / Thesaurus.comAnd always, without the word 'sorry' or 'I was wrong' ever been used. It might be more along the lines of 'Yeah okay you have a point, but....'

25. They'll Always Get Caught Out In A Lie In The End

At the end of the day, lies come back to haunt you, and with a fake friend who's constantly lying, the truth is bound to come out one way or the other, even if it's just a little white lie.Image Source / LooperAnd when they're caught out, will they own up to it? Nope. They'll just try to cover it up even more. So, reflect on your own feelings and priorities.

26. They'll Judge You And Try To Change Your 'Flaws'

They may think they're being supportive, but it's not supportive if they take your 'flaws' and tell you how you can change yourself or do better.Image Source / WikipediaThey might judge you for your insecurities and then try to act as though there's something wrong with you that you need to change - and they'll help you change it.

27. They'll Tease Every Accomplishment You Make

And we don't mean playful teasing - we mean actual teasing, for anything you succeed in, because they're ready to drag you down at any moment.Image Source / PREVNetThey won't be happy for you if you want to celebrate something, they'll just make sure you know how many small digs they're prepared to make.

28. They're Always Offloading Their Problems Onto You

They'll talk to you when they want to talk to you, which most of the time is when they want to offload emotionally onto you.Image Source / WIREDYou'll try to help and give them advice but ultimately it doesn't matter because they don't listen to you or any advice you give, you're just there for them to dump on.

29. They Want Your Attention When They Demand It

They don't respect your life, your schedule or your boundaries, because when they want to talk to you, they expect you to be there at the drop of a hat.Image Source / LovePankyIf you don't answer their calls or messages immediately, or aren't available to meet up when they want to, then they'll be annoyed with you.

30. And They'll Hate It If You Call Them Out For Being A Fake Friend

And the worst part? If you actually call them out for being a fake friend and tell them about all the bad things they're doing, they'll be angry and won't accept it.Image Source / Counsellor Who CaresEven though they know it's the truth, they're never going to admit it - and that's when the anger and defensiveness kicks in. Suddenly, you're the one in the wrong.

31. They Enjoy Gossip (And They're Always Looking For It)

When you spend time with this friend, you may find that they're always digging for some kind of gossip or information from you, about anyway.Image Source / The Quinnipiac ChronicleMaybe when you bring up a person they may also try and encourage gossip about them. It makes you wonder how much they gossip about you!

32. You Don't Like The Person You Are Around Them

You may feel like you're treading on eggshells if you be yourself around them, so you have to be someone different. You might need to be the person they expect you to be.Image Source / Click2HoustonAnd you may also feel uncomfortable or on edge every time you're around them. You find that you don't feel right about the person you have to be around them.

33. If They Make Promises, They Break Them

When friends make a promise to you, it should mean something - that's how you build trust and friendship. This friend may be constantly making promises to you that they're never, ever going to keep.Image Source / Ladue NewsThey're obviously not committed. They clearly don't want to do the thing they're promising to do. You'd rather they were simply upfront about their intentions.

34. You Can Just Sense The Fakeness

You know when there's just something about a person that makes you think they're being insincere when you're with them? It's that gut feeling again.Image Source / WomenWorkingMaybe you do already know, deep down, that they're just oozing fake friend vibes and that's why you're looking for signs to look for online.

35. You've Actually Had Other People Tell You They Talk About You

As well as gossiping with you, or talking about other people behind their back, you may have also had other people tell you that your 'friend' talks about you.Image Source / The Daily BeastThis is probably all the time, and in a negative light when you're not around. This point alone is enough to prompt you to reconsider the friendship!

36. You Always Have This Feeling That You Can't Trust Them

You should always be able to trust your friends. So if you're constantly finding yourself up against a brick wall of 'But can I trust them with this?'Image Source / Psychology TodayWhen you need to ask them something, tell them something or get help from them, it just shows that the trust is very much in doubt.

37. They're Selfish

You may find that 99% of the time - or even 100% of the time - everything is one-sided with them. They want to talk about what they want to talk about.Image Source / DiveThruThey want to do what they want to do, and they're completely focused on themselves within the friendship with little time for what you want.

38. There's Always Some Kind Of Drama Kicking Off

True friendships should have very little drama, there's no need if there's genuine love there. That isn't to say things can't happen and problems can't arise!Image Source / Wikimedia CommonsBut there's a difference between issues every now and again compared to every single thing being a huge drama. You may find that everything your friend does or gets involved with is this huge drama.

39. They're Possessive Of You

You might find that there's a quick change in your friend's tone or behaviour when you spend time with other people, or start talking about other friends with them.

Image Source / LovePanky

They may go a little more quiet and short with you, and you may get a vibe that something is off. They're likely disapproving of you spending time with others.

40. You Feel A Lot Of Pressure To Make Them Happy

You may have realised that a lot of the time you're 'chasing' this friend, such as sending them messages or checking in with them only to wait a long time for them to get back to you.Image Source / BuzzFeed
They likely do this on purpose to make themselves feel needed by you, and make you wait so that your value seems less than theirs.

41. They Love The Sound Of Their Own Voice

And especially when it's talking about their favourite topic: themselves! You may find that no matter what you're talking about, they always manage to turn the conversation back on themselves.Image Source / A Lust For LifeWe all know somebody who is just like that, who only talks about themselves, or brings the conversation back to something they can relate to.

42. They Remember All Your Mistakes (And They'll Remind You Of Them Too)

Everybody makes mistakes, and good friends will forgive, forget and not remind you of that fact. But with this friend, they may randomly bring up something wrong you did a million years ago.Image Source / Robert HalfThis is because they don't forget anything you do, and they like to hold a grudge if they feel they want to - even if they've said they've forgiven you.

43. They Always Need Something From You

Of course, real friendships mean supporting each other and sometimes needing something from each other. But a fake friend will always seem to need something from you.Image Source / Inside CroydonIt's like you're constantly at their beck and call. You may find that they only ever reach out when they want something or need from you.

44. They're Always In Competition With You

Stemming from their need to be the best and also from a place of envy, a fake friend may constantly make friendship with you a conversation.Image Source / Psychology TodayThis could be anything that you do or say that they always have to go one better than you with. It's always all about them!

45. They Always Drain Your Energy

Do you find yourself completely exhausted every time you have to deal with them? Whether in person or literally just through messages or phone calls?Image Source / WIREDIf you feel drained after every interaction, it's a sign that it's not an evenly split relationship and that they're taking up more of the focus and time and energy.

46. They're Often Disrespectful To You

This could mean outright disrespect, like in the way they speak to you or what they call you, or it could be disrespectful of any boundaries you've set down.Image Source / wikiHowThey might not respect that you've asked for time to yourself and continue to message you anyway, for example. Because they don't truly care about how you are.

47. This Type Of Behaviour Has Been Happening On A Loop

Maybe you've been friends with them for years and years and this is the way they've always acted, or you're only recent friends but been up against this behaviour through every interaction.Image Source / PNGWingEither way, if there's been absolute no change in this type of behaviour from them, it looks like they really are just that kind of toxic person.

48. You Very Rarely - If Ever - Have Deep Conversations

Except if it's about them and their feelings, you may find that you very rarely have more deep and meaningful, personal conversations with this friend.Image Source / MomJunctionAll your conversations might be very much surface level, as they may seem hesitant or uninterested on getting to know you on a deeper level.

49. They Have A Problem With Your Opinions Or Beliefs

Not all people in a friend group will share the same beliefs, views or opinions, but it's all about respecting a friend's viewpoint, even if doesn't match up with your own.Image Source / MichalsonsA fake friend might make you feel bad or guilty for your opinions or beliefs, or tell you that you're wrong. They don't respect who you are as a person.

50. They Forget Important Dates

A fake friend won't make the effort to remember dates which are important to you, no matter what they are or how major they are.Image Source / drupa blogYou may find they forget birthdays, your anniversary or big milestone dates that you usually celebrate. You may get a very belated 'sorry I forgot' when you remind them of it.

51. They Emotionally Blackmail You

One of your friend's manipulation tactics include emotionally blackmailing you. But don't fall for their fakery when they try and emotionally manipulate your feelings and thoughts!Image Source / ThisIsWhyImBrokeThis means saying things like "If you don't do this then I won't be your friend anymore," or "If you don't come with me I'll tell everyone your biggest secret."

52. Your Friendship Is Conditional

A fake friend will only stay in your life under certain conditions. They might ask you to behave a certain way that they want you to.Image Source / ThisIsWhyImBrokeThey may ask you to dress in clothes you don't want to wear, or change your appearance. Don't play into their falsehood, be who you are and tell them where to go.

53. They're Using You To Get Access To Others

It has been known that fake friends use their victims only to get closer to other people. One reason might be because they fancy them.Image Source / LovePankyOr, they're looking to get close to some pretty influential people with money. Beware of the signs and weigh up whether it's you they want or your connections.

54. There's Always Something Better For Them To Be Doing

If you're friend is fake then you just know that when it comes to pre-made plans they will be quick to bail on you for a "better" plan that comes their way.Image Source / WikiHOWTake heed when your friends start acting this way and ask yourself if they really want to spent time with you. Value those who really value you and your time.

55. They've Broken Your Trust

There's nothing that shouts fake friend more than a friend betraying your trust. It's easy to say that you don't trust them but when they actually break it, that's another thing.Image Source / Autism RoutemapThey might have spilled a secret about you, taken advantage of you or even used you in a certain situation to achieve an ulterior goal - at your expense!

56. They Intimidate You

Do you find then when you're in conversations with this alleged fake friend that you feel intimidated by them? It could be that they come across standoffish.10 Things That Make You Intimidating | Thought CatalogImage Source / Thought CatalogOr maybe they speak in a stern tone or give you a menacing look. Consider whether this might be one of their tactics to intimidate you.

57. They're Jealous Of Your Success

Whenever you enjoy a success, like a new job, home or partner, they're quick to put you down and you can see their eyes glowing green with envy.Image Source / New Harbinger PublicationThat's because jealous friends are never truly your friend, and it probably means that you can class these mates as fake friends - not true friends.

58. They Pull Faces When You Speak To Them

Fake friends might find it hard to show the ingenuity when having conversations with you, or when you're speaking in a room, and you may notice a look of disgust.Image Source / iStockThey may show their disapproval when you're speaking. Try not to let it get you down and to keep your head held high - they just want to bring you down.

59. They Behave Like A Fair-Weather Friend

The Cambridge Dictionary describes a fair-weather friend as "someone who is a good friend when it is easy to be one and who stops being one when you are having problems."Image Source / WomenWorkingYou might notice that when you're around each other it feels dishonest and ingenuine. Always trust your instincts and feelings about the friendship, they never lie.

60. They Love To See You Fail

Fake friends will revel in your failure because they're jealous of your successes. It's the opposite of how a true friend should feel towards you!Bouncing back: What to do if you fail a test - GirlsLifeImage Source / GirlsLifeIf you've had a spout of disappointment in your life, like failing an exam, losing a job, or experiencing a traumatic event, fake friends will not try to hide their pleasure.

61. They Embarrass You In Front Of Your Friends

There's nothing worse than those friends who just love to embarrass you in front of your other friends. They might make jokes at your expense.Image Source / CafeMom.comThey may even laugh at your previous trauma or expose deep secrets about you to an entire room, trying to make you feel inferior and small.

62. They Steal Your Crush

Be careful who you divulge your lust for your crush to. Fake friends might make it their absolute mission to steal your crush from you.Image Source / Power of PositivityThey'll make sure that they're the one who ends up in a relationship with them. Have you noticed this among any of your friends? A true sign of a very, fake friend.

63. They Speak Badly Of You

You've noticed that, whether you're there or not, fake friends are quick to talk ill of you in front of other people. They're constantly bashing you for no reason and you have no idea why.Image Source / LiveboldandbloomSometimes there is no reason. Fake friends can be deeply unhappy and need someone to talk smack about, but don't let that person be you.

64. It Never Seems Like They're Listening

You're having a conversation and you can just tell by the reactions of your friend that they are not bothered and not listening to anything you say.Image Source / The Good Men ProjectIt makes you feel small and in the end you just resort to not saying anything at all. Don't let them get the better of you!

65. They Act Like A Spoiled Brat

Fake friends will often stomp their feet and moan until they get their own way. They essentially exhibit the traits of being a spoiled brat.Image Source / New York PostIt's a tactic to enable them to get their own way, and often they react so badly that you just agree with them for the easy life.

66. They Talk Over You

Fake friends will make no effort not to talk over you and will make sure you are the quietist person in the room. It doesn't make you feel very nice.Image Source / New ScientistIt also makes you feel totally unheard by the rest of the group. They demand the attention of everyone in the room to steal the limelight from anyone else.

67. They Feel Like They Have To One Up You

Fake friends can't bear you having the upper hand in anything and will endeavour to dethrone you from being at the top at any chance they get to do so.Image Source / Best LifeSo if you've just gone out and bought a new car, they have to have a more expensive car. If you've bought a new phone, they needed the newer model.

68. They Try Their Best To Manipulate You

You can't always tell when a friend is trying to manipulate you as there are many different ways to do it. They may be clever and subtle in how they do it!Image Source / Midland Daily NewsBut if you find that you're always agreeing with them, then have a think about whether they're trying to manipulate you and you're falling into their trap.

69. They Never Accept You For Who You Are

Fake friends will constantly be trying to change you and that's because they don't like you. It might be that they're trying to calculate your downfall.Image Source / Psychology TodayThey may try to change you into the sort of friend that they want to keep in their life. Be warned of the signs before you allow them to happen!

70. You Can Never Say No To Them

Fake friends make it seem impossible for you to say no to them, and quite often that's because they simply won't take no for an answer.What to Do When You Can't Say No | How to Effectively Say NoImage Source / LivingwellspendinglessThey will try to force you to go to meet them at the most inconvenient times for you, and that makes things very difficult for you.

71. They Drain You When You Spend Time With Them

Fake friends will drain your social battery much more than real friends. When you spend time with them it feels like a lot of effort to keep up the false niceties and you hate that about them.What Is a Social Battery and How to Recharge It as an Introvert?Image Source / The Power of MisfitsIf someone is making you feel this way is it worth keeping them in your life? You shouldn't constantly feel like they are draining all of your energy.

72. You Feel Like You Can't Relate To Them

No matter how hard you try, being friends with someone who seems so unreachable to you will make you feel like you can never truly get to know them.Image Source / Lindsay Currie - MediumNever mind relate to their experiences. It might be purposeful, and you might even see that they're divulging personal secrets to others and not to you.

73. They Make You Feel Guilty For Your Own Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes and that's just a part of life, but fake friends will never let you live them down. They'll always use them against you.Image Source / HealthShotsThey'll constantly bring up the mistakes that you've made and try to make you feel like a bad person. Keep your chin up and don't let them get the better of you.

74. They Overstep Your Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries and that's 100% healthy and okay. But fake friends won't respect your boundaries and will consistently break them in multiple ways and they won't care.Image Source / iBelieveThey make take advantage of you emotionally or financially, or constantly invade your personal space and overbear you even if you feel uncomfortable about it.

75. They Have Sabotaged You In The Past

Fake friends are the best at sabotaging, whether you can see it or not. If they know you have a crush, they'll make it their aim to debunk it.Image Source / SHRMIf you're going for an important job interview, they'll give you all the wrong types of advice. Don't be fooled. They want you to fail.

76. They Constantly Try To Get You To Break Up With Your Partner

Fake friends will want you to themselves, and this means whispering in your ear to get you to break up with your partner. They try to isolate you.Image Source / Mark MansonWhile you should always listen to your friend's advice, be wary when it comes to those fake friends spilling likes and bad advice to you.

77. You Always Contact Them First

Do you find that whenever you want to see or speak to your mate that you're the one messaging first? They never make the effort!Image Source / British CouncilWell, while there can be other reasons for this like their personality type or how busy they are, you should never settle for second best and put the friendship to the test.

78. They're Never Happy Around You

Have you ever noticed that when you're around your fake friend that they never actually seem to be happy? The emotions they feel for you and about you aren't genuine.Image Source / StoryblocksWhile you're engaging in happy conversations and activities, you can see it in their eyes that they don't really enjoy spending time with you and just using you for your company.

79. They Spend Time Gaslighting You

Gaslighting seems to be the new phrase that everyone is throwing about. According to verywellmind, gaslighting is a "type of emotional abuse in which the bully or abuser misleads the target.Image Source / Time Business NewsIt leads to creating a false narrative and making them question their judgements." Essentially, they will paint you to be the wrong one even when you're not.

80. They Disappear Once They Start Dating

Once they get a partner, that's the last that you see of them. We all know couples that are like this and it really makes you question whether your friendship meant anything to them.Why do people flake out? | CNNImage Source / CNNSpoiler alert: it probably didn't. Get out now while you still can! Otherwise these fake friends will bring you down and chip away at your self confidence.