You Actually Communicate
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Communication is the cornerstone to all brilliant relationships. Disagreements, differences, and life challenges can all be worked through if you can openly and honestly talk with your partner. If you know that your relationship has communication at its core - you're all good.
You Both Listen
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It's no good trying to openly communicate with your partner if they just won't listen! Healthy relationships require both parties to listen to and process what the other one is trying to tell them. When we don't listen, we have unnecessary arguments.
Respect
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Another foundation stone of all long-lasting relationships is mutual respect. You may not share the exact same opinions, or you may have different preferences when it comes to personal boundaries, but as long as your partner respects them (And vice versa) you will be just fine.
Mutual Trust
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It's a horrible feeling when you realize you just can't trust someone you love. Healthy unions are built on a strong foundation of trust and transparency. It allows us to feel completely safe and secure within the relationship and able to live life to the fullest.
Shared Values
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It's not necessary to have EVERYTHING in common with your partner, in fact that would probably be a bit tiresome! However, sharing your core values and beliefs will help you build a life where neither one of you feels they need to compromise on their moral code.
Conflict Resolution
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We all have friends who are always in a heated conflict with their significant other that just never seems to resolve! Being able to resolve disagreements calmly and constructively can stop you wasting a lot of time and will make your relationship a lot healthier.
Emotionally Supportive
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The 'tough love' method might work for some people, but for many of us, having a partner that is attentive and emotionally supportive makes all the difference. We will all go through challenging times, you need a partner who will hold your hand through all the storms of life.
Maintaining Independence
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You were a completely independent person before you met your partner; with your own life goals, interests and hobbies. A healthy relationship will allow you to maintain your independence alongside your joint life. They fell in love with you because of you are, don't lose that!
Quality Time
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There's a reason it is one of the five love languages; quality time together is a necessity for strong partnerships. In a healthy relationship you will enjoy and prioritize spending time with each other 1:1 and won't be deliberately avoiding your other half.
You Laugh a LOT
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Laughter might just be the best medicine for a strained relationship. When we laugh, we release endorphins that can transform our mood almost instantly. If your partner can make you roll on the floor giggling, keep them around - they might just be the reason for your great mood.
Intimacy
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In many long-term relationships, intimacy can be the first thing to fall away. If you and your partner have managed to maintain this crucial element of your love life, your relationship will be a whole lot healthier because of it. Being physically intimate makes us feel more connected to our partner.
Equals
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Historically, heterosexual relationships have been formed upon the patriarchal idea that the man is more important and the woman is there to serve him. Nowadays we realize how ridiculous and unhealthy this is! Your relationship should be based on equality.
Happy to Compromise
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Take your fingers out of your ears, I know you don't want to hear this but it is the truth: all healthy relationships require compromise. Whilst it is important to maintain our independence, your partnership will fall apart if you refuse to mould even slightly to what works for the team.
Shared Empathy
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Being an empathetic partner means taking the time to understand each other’s feelings or perspectives. It's all very well feeling sympathy, but practicing empathy is more hard work - you need to try and understand exactly what your partner is going through and why they feel this way.
Your No.1 Encourager
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There's little worse than avoiding telling your partner your news because you know they will only discourage you. Your loved one should be your No.1 motivator, encouraging and inspiring you to be the best version of yourself! Building someone up is a lovely feeling for both of you!
Happy to Apologize
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It's no good if you have to beg your partner for an apology when they are in the wrong. Your bf/gf should be quick to say sorry if they have done something to hurt or upset you, and you need to be ready to do the same! I promise, 'Sorry' isn't really the hardest word...
No Playing Games
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When we are navigating the wild roads of the current dating scene, it can feel like we need to play games to get ahead. Trust me, if you find yourself chasing someone because of the games they are playing with you, it's not worth it! A healthy relationship is free from mind games!
Privacy
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Now, it's not very healthy to have big secrets from your partner - especially if they are regarding other love interests or future plans that also involve them. However, you still need your personal space and privacy so you can avoid feeling overwhelmed within the relationship.
Family Loves Them
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Many of us have been in a relationship where our partner's family just don't warm to us! It can leave you feeling anxious and self-conscious at family events. When you and your partner have a positive relationship with both families it can take the weight off!
Financially Transparent
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It's never easy to talk honestly about our spending habits and savings but if you are keeping this important information from your partner, it will negatively affect your relationship. A healthy partnership can discuss and manage their finances together.
Feeling Safe
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You know your relationship is a healthy one if you always feel safe and protected by them. When we completely trust and love someone, their mere presence makes us feel safe and secure. If you feel unsafe and on-edge around your partner - it's not a good sign!
Growing Together
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In a healthy relationship, their future is your future and that should feel like an exciting, lovely prospect! Through the love and encouragement, you should both grow in confidence and into the people you want to be, strengthening as a unit and as two healthy individuals.
No Abuse
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Abuse, whether it be verbal, emotional or physical has NO place in your relationship. We are taught to desire 'fiery romances' through film and TV but these do not work in real life! As we have discussed, a healthy relationship should be your safe space - not a place of fear.
Joint Responsibilities
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If one of you ends up doing the majority of the household chores, it will start to put a strain on your relationship. A healthy, strong partnership will have evenly shared responsibilities, whether that be cleaning, sorting finances or organizing your child's life.
They Are Your Cheerleader
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You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who thinks you are the cat's pyjamas! You and your bf/gf should be each other's biggest cheerleaders, spurring each other on to achieve and wanting to proudly boast about the other's achievements to your friends and fam!
Healthy Jealousy (With Limits)
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Now, this is not me promoting being a jealous partner! We all know that the green-eyed monster is one of the worst feelings in the world. However, your partner should feel passionate enough about you and your relationship to at least care about who you are spending your time with!
You See A Future
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In a healthy relationship you are both excited about the future you could share together. You and your partner should have a long-term vision, allowing you to make big life plans. Planning on where you want to live, whether you want to get married etc. should feel exciting!
They De-Stress You
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We all know how stressful and anxiety inducing modern life can be; work life expectations, the pressures of social media and fears over the environment and current affairs can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Your partner should be the person who can relax you and help you de-stress.
You Can Chat For Hours
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If you can't have a really good chat with your loved one, you are going to struggle when you are 20 years down the line and you still need to find something to talk about! A healthy relationship involves a whole load of nattering about big things but also complete nonsense!
You Just Know
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All of this aside, the true test of your relationship is how you both feel day to day. If you and your partner both feel completely secure and happy within your union and don't have any big worries for the future... that sounds like a healthy relationship to me!