Reasons Why We Shouldn’t Be A Stay At Home Mom

By Sophie 8 months ago

You'll Never Get A Break

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At least when you're in work your break is legally binding. If you're a stay at home mom you don't benefit from the same protections. You'll be switched 'on' all the time and will barely have chance to get 5 minutes to yourself. Even when the baby is sleeping, you'll still have a to-do list as long as your arm!

You're Expected To Do All Of The Housework

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Like being a stay at home mom isn't a full time job in itself, you'll also be expected to do all of the jobs around the house. If you're in it all day people presume you need to be kept busy, but that's what your little bundle of joy is for! The cleaning should be a mutual event so don't stress yourself out over it.

Stay At Home Literally Means Stay At Home

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Some days the outside world might feel like a distant memory. You might even try and fail to get out; it can be challenging with a young child. They take up so much of your time and energy that you may even feel too exhausted to move. Fresh air will always do you good so try and get out at least once a day, even if it is only in the garden.

People Will Want To Visit

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The last thing you need when you're trying to juggle your life and getting into routines, is constant visitors disturbing your peace. Unfortunately they're something you must contend with as a stay at home mom, as everyone is desperate to come and hold the baby.

You'll Get Judged

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You're damned if you do and damned if you don't when you become a mom, so you'll probably be judged whatever you do. In our society where everyone expects mom to bounce straight back, there'll be comments when she doesn't and opts to stay home with the baby which, by the way, is a perfectly reasonable decision.

You'll Miss Adult Conversations

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When all of your time is spent with a child, then the conversations can become unfulfilling for you. We need to be able to discuss things with fellow adults who understand and can give some feedback, because as much as we love talking to our kids, their chatter can be quite draining.

You Won't Have Your Own Money

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Even if your partner is doing a great job at supporting you all, it's always nice to have our own money. Earned money allows you to feel more free and independent, which won't happen when you're a stay at home mom. You need to try and be okay with spending someone else's money if the arrangement is going to work.

You'll Feel Guilty For Buying Things For Yourself

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When you're a mom, all of your time, energy and resources goes into raising your child, but we mustn't forget to look after ourselves, too. If that means buying something nice for yourself then so be it, but that doesn't come without the consequence of feeling bad. Treating yourself when you're not earning can feel like a terrible thing to do, but rest assured it isn't!

It's Exhausting

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Many people underestimate the hard work that goes into being a stay at home mom, and think that it's a welcome break. Needless to say, they're wrong! Being on call 24 hours a day is mentally and physically exhausting and will sometimes have you questioning your decisions.

It'll Feel Like You're Always Cooking

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You may thoroughly enjoy cooking, however when you're constantly having to feed yourself, the children, and maybe even the husband, you may come to begrudge it. It's difficult trying to think of varied meal throughout the week and even worse when you've got fussy eaters.

Less Time For Hobbies

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It's unfortunate that things like hobbies fall by the wayside when you become a parent, as simple leisure time becomes the bottom priority. Hobbies are great for your mental health so it's important to try and set aside time to do things just for yourself; you'll be happier and a better mom for it.

Constant Interruptions

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Just as you get stuck into some cleaning or a phone call, your sweet little darling will suddenly want all of your attention. They will interrupt almost everything you do, as they won't understand that anything other than them requires any of your time.

You'll Feel Lazy

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We're not saying that you are lazy, quite the opposite. It's just that when you are taking care of your child within your home then unless your house is huge, it's unlikely that you'll clock many miles in steps. Only making small but constant movements throughout the day isn't enough to get your heart pumping so you might not feel very active!

Cabin Fever

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Cabin fever is when you stay indoors for so long that you feel physically uncomfortable. You become sick to death of staring at the same four walls that you may feel you're going a bit crazy. We know that getting out of the house can be difficult some days but really try and plan in some outdoor time to ward off this imaginary disease!

You Won't Be Able To Switch Off

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They say that you should sleep when the baby sleeps, but this can be rather difficult when you feel like you have a million things to do. It's really hard to switch off when you have a child, as you need to constantly be aware of their needs. Try some meditation to help your brain to feel refreshed.

You're Never Alone

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It's lovely being with your baby all day, but sometimes we do just need some alone time. It's hard even going to the toilet with a child in your house, as you'll probably find them following you wherever you go. Try and get 10 minutes when your partner comes home, we all need to blow off some steam sometimes!

You Might Come To Resent Your Child

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Usually these resentments don't last very long, but if you've lost your freedom because you decided to have a baby then you may find yourself blaming the baby and not the fact you wanted to be a mom. It's quite normal to feel this way sometimes but if you're worried then speak to a health professional as it could be a sign of postpartum depression.

You'll Lose Your Individuality

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Stepping into your new role as a mom means that you leave some of your old self behind. The job of motherhood means that you give everything to your child to the point you forget about yourself. You may not even have the time for self-expression even if you found the energy for it.

No Privacy

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Being a full time mom means that there'll always be little ears listening to everything you say and little eyes watching everything you do. You won't be able to get away with much, as they have a tendency to tell tales. You have to be careful what you say around them which can be difficult when you're just tryna live your best life!

It Gets Lonely

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Although you're with your little person all day every day, being a stay at home mom can sometimes feel quite lonely. The lack of adult company and conversation can be isolating so it's important that you fill your own cup with this. Check out what's on in your local area as they often have mother and baby groups you can go to.

You'll Resent Your Partner

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As we sometimes play the blame game if we're feeling crappy, our partners may fall victim. You might start resenting the fact that he's allowed to get up, go to work, see colleagues and friends and basically do as he pleases. As your life becomes smaller it may seem that his is massive but remember that you are a team, and he may resent the fact that you can spend so much time with the little one.

It Feels Like Groundhog Day

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As a stay at home mom you tend to do the same things day in, day out. It'll start to feel like you're living life on repeat with no variation. This is enough to send anybody crazy so try to modify your routine slightly to give you a bit of diversity - even if it's just changing up what you eat!

Your House Will Start To Annoy You

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If you're spending a lot of time in the same place then you'll want it to be a place where you're happy. It's a shame that even if your home is your happy place, being stuck there may cause you to hate it. You'll start noticing things that you dislike but that just comes with feeling trapped.

You'll Feel Less Healthy

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With less time to focus on your normal routine, your health may feel like it's declining. You'll stop doing the things that make you feel good, all while running on very little sleep and convenient food. You may not notice yourself feeling this way to begin with as you're so focused on the baby, however it could manifest in illness. Ask for help if you need to.

It's Boring

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As wonderful as motherhood is, if it's all you're doing 24/7 then it can become quite dull. Your little one will brighten your day with their tiny developments, however for the most part you'll be in a weird state between being run off your feet, and being super bored.

You May Struggle To Make Phone Calls

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Your phone is a much needed tool to keep you in touch with the rest of the world, and sometimes it's the only way to have any real conversation as a stay at home mom. You'll probably find that your phone calls will be interrupted however, putting an end to the injection of sanity!

You'll Have To Answer The Door

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As a stay at home mom, people will expect you to be in the house daily (which you probably will be) and therefore they'll know exactly where to reach you. Of course you don't have to answer the door if people come knocking, but it'll save any awkward excuses after.

You Won't Get To Enjoy The Sun

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A baby's skin is so delicate that they need to steer clear of the sunshine to avoid getting burnt. They can also overheat quite easily so will need to stay shaded if it does get warm outside. This means that you'll miss out on any hot weather, as you remain in his optimum climate. You can kiss goodbye to summer!

You Won't Feel Like Yourself

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Being independent means that you can do as you please and fulfill the desires that make you, you. As a stay at home mommy then you're suddenly plunged into a brand new lifestyle that isn't about you anymore. You will lose yourself in the process but don't worry, she's still there under the surface. You just have to make more of an effort to release her.

You Might Actually Go Crazy

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As people we need human interaction, we need variation, sunlight, fresh air and movement. We need freedom and we need peace. All of this changes when you become a mom, and may disappear entirely if you decide to stay at home. You might find yourself losing your mind and worry you may never get it back. Seek support and have a rest; your family will thank you for it.