Men’s Biggest Insecurities In Relationships

By Aaron Love 11 months ago

Potentially Being Alone

Image Source: Reddit
This isn't just the biggest insecurities that males have within relationships, but its an insecurity I feel like we can all associate with when with our partners. In our eyes, our partner is perfect and obviously the person we want to spend our lives with; this undying love and affection however can cause us to think that they're going to leave us. It isn't uncommon for people to create ideas and stories in their heads about partners leaving them because they think there'll be people out there who are even better for them than they are!

Hearing A Partner Compliment Someone Else

Image Source: Reddit
It's not uncommon for people to compliment others for the way they look or something they've done with their lives, but in some situations, men have become insecure over their partner doing so. Even if the compliments that are being given aren't meant in a romantic way of any kind, some men might find this as a way to make themselves feel inferior in the relationship. Of course you're not going to leave them, but little things like that can play on their minds a little. Keep your compliments to yourselves if you're worried about hurting an insecure partner.

Not Looking Like Your Celebrity Crush

Image Source: Reddit
Following on from men hearing you compliment people's looks causing them to feel inferior, its also common for them to feel the same way when you discuss your feelings towards a celebrity crush that, they feel or know, is much better looking than they are! Yes, celebrity crushes are completely harmful and we've all had them in the past (and most of us still have at least one to this day!). It's not harmful to have a celebrity crush at all, but some men might take their levels of inferiority and insecurity to a whole other level! Don't talk about the Pitt's and the DiCaprio's around them!

Being Too Small

                               
Image Source: Tastefully Offensive
If you ask a typical man what his biggest insecurity is, a wide variety of them will say something to do with their height. I'm not sure what it is about men and their heights that really bothers them so much, but its something that a lot of men can become insecure over. Supposedly, this is because women (because you definitely group all woman together like that right?) prefer their partners to be considerably taller than they are. Don't worry guys, if they've chosen to be with you already they won't leave you now and who doesn't love a short king?

Being Overweight

Image Source: Reddit
It's not just their height that men can become insecure about within their relationships, but they can also come to develop an issue with the image of their own body in terms of weight. Now, all of us come in various shapes and sizes, and some of us just are slightly larger than others. You shouldn't feel insecure about your weight, especially when it comes to being in a relationship with the person you love. I wouldn't be too worried, I can't imagine they'll be leaving you because of that anytime soon! As long as you're looking after yourself you should be fine.

Being Unable To Grow Body Hair

Image Source: Reddit
You might be starting to understand the theme that's developing here, essentially men can form the idea within their brains that if they don't look like the best male around, they can become quite insecure. And one of the things that many men believe women really want in a man is to have a good collection of body hair on them. Now, there are some woman who'll love a hairy man and there'll also be people who like a bare skinned man. Facial hair is the one they have the most problems with, patchy beards are fine too guys! Or you could go for a slightly balder look?

Having Feminine Hands

Image Source: Reddit
It seems crazy that something so minute and unimportant on the human body can cause men to become so insecure about themselves. Supposedly, their are some men out there that believe their hands are too feminine in comparison to the rest of their body. Excuse me if I'm being a little stupid, but how can the fact someone's hand might look a little less masculine than others make them think their partner might leave them? How do you even go about making your hands look more masculine anyways? It's something you'll learn to live with I'm sure!

Worrying About Their Smile

Image Source: Twitter
At least this insecurity, in some way, makes some sort of sense in comparison to men feeling as though their hands look too feminine. A person's smile is something that a partner is always going to be able to notice whether you're trying to show it off or not. It isn't just men who are insecure about their smiles but pretty much everyone out there in the dating scene and there are even people who spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars to sort them out! I'm sure if you're looking after your teeth properly and you're already in a relationship, then you won't have to worry about them leaving you anymore.

Earning Less Than The Woman

Image Source: Reddit
There's definitely some form of a stereotype around the world that the male in a relationship has to be the breadwinner of the household, but in the modern era these ideas seem to have changed. Nowadays, woman are definitely trying to alter this idea and let's be honest, doing a great job at it. The problem is that they're so stuck in the mindset that they need to be more successful than female partners that when they are being outcompeted they can become insecure as the second most successful member of the relationship.

Where They Live

Image Source: Reddit
At the start of a new relationship, there's a lot of things that couples need to come to learn about one another; and one thing people can be incredibly scared about sharing is the place that they call home. Typically, a single man's house isn't particularly going to be the most exciting or tidy place to live in so many men can grow insecure about introducing their new partner to their house. They shouldn't be insecure about this however, what have they got to hide really? Just don't leave it a mess in the first place right?

The Car They Drive

Image Source: Reddit
A man's choice of vehicle can probably say a lot about them and this is something that they've come to realise can be an indicator of themselves to new partners. Although most women aren't going to be so materialistic that if a man doesn't have a brand new car they'll leave them, there are a few people out there like that. That shouldn't mean that they should feel insecure about it though, what difference does the type of vehicle you drive make when it comes to showing off the personality you have. Unless you're car Crazy!

The... Erm... Size

Image Source: Reddit
Okay so let's get the awkward one out of the way; some men can feel awkward about getting intimate in the bedroom because they might ashamed or insecure about the size or shape of their, erm, appendage. Now, I'm sure there's a load of men out there that wish they had the largest appendage in the world, but unfortunately that just isn't the way the cookie crumbles. And with the exception of a few woman out there, as long as you're a good partner and you show signs of being the one, your size won't bother them too much.

The Bedroom Performance

Image Source: Reddit
Not only can men become insecure about the size and shape of their manhood, but they can also become incredibly ashamed about their performance within the bedroom too. Becoming intimate with a partner is something that everyone is scared of, especially when it's the first time you are sharing that experience with one another. You're allowed to be nervous, everyone will understand that, it happens to the best of us, I promise. We all have our own skills and maybe this just isn't one of yours.

What Job He Has

Image Source: NPR
Although one of the first things that tends to be shared between potential couples tends to be stuff like hobbies and their employment status, some men can be insecure about revealing all of the information about their job, especially when they aren't earning a boatload of cash. Most women aren't going to have their opinions changed on a man based solely on what they earn, it's all about the person behind the job. And let's be honest, if you can't comfortably be your true self around a potential partner then they aren't the one for you.

Fashion Sense

Image Source: Reddit
Everyone has their own distinct fashion sense right? And that is absolutely fine, we all use clothing as a way to express ourselves, it shows other people around us the sort of person we are (it can also show how much money you might have too!). However, in some situations where potential couples agree to first dates or are early in to a relationship, the male might find themselves worrying about not being able to dress well enough to impress their partner. It can be hard to decide what to wear for a date, but you'll look great, I'm sure.

How They Smell

Image Source: Reddit
Have you ever gone on a date with a male and been drowned in the scent of some tacky aftershave or deodorant? Then it might be a sign that the guy was feeling a little insecure about their own personal scent. Some men (and some woman) release a few more odours than others and some sweat an absolute ton in comparison to others, so they might choose to overload in the smelly stuff to try and make themselves feel better about showing up around you. Just tell them to calm it down a little next time eh?

How Smart They Are

Image Source: Reddit
If a man is trying to impress his (hopeful) future partner then they might become insecure about how smart it is that they're appearing when in communication with you. You might notice that they're trying to come across smarter than they actually are by using an extensive vocabulary, or they might have been learning about certain things they might be able to impress you with. This occurs especially when a man knows that you're not so dull yourself and you're full of bright light bulbs up in the brain.

That Receding Hairline

Image Source: Reddit
One of the most terrifying sights that a man can see as they grow older is a receding hairline (trust me, I would know) and it can be hard for a man to pull a receding hairline off without beginning to look a little older than you'd think. Yes, a woman probably isn't going to leave a man or choose to find a different partner just because their hair is receding, but that doesn't change a man's mindset as he'll know there are plenty of men out their with a strong, full head of hair. What is it with men and being insecure about hair?

Being Too Shy

Image Source: Reddit
Although it's stereotypically woman who tend to be the shy ones in a relationship, this doesn't mean that most if not all men are shy at some point during a meeting with a potential partner. Some of them are just better at hiding it than others! And it's these guys who can become quite insecure about the way they're acting in a relationship. They feel as though that if they come across to shy, it might show them in a negative light and cause people to go a separate way. Shyness isn't a bad thing right? It shows they want to make things work!

Struggling To Show Emotions

Image Source: Reddit
Men being unable to show emotions properly has long been an issue when it comes to relationships, many have come to an end because they've been completely or partially emotionless in a situation where the partner has needed to see more. The problem is that some men really just struggle to get their real feelings out there in the open and the likelihood is that they wish it was easy for them when it actually tears them apart! It's a common insecurity amongst men and one we all wish could be handled easier than it actually is.

Looking Too Old

Image Source: Daily Express
I'm sure everyone, men and women included, have fears about beginning to look to old as they go up in age, we all want to remain young both at heart and in our physical appearance too! The problem that comes with this is that we all grow in different ways, some of us keep our youthful looks until we're in our 40's whilst others begin to see signs of ageing as early as their 20's. Yes it's scary, but us men need to stick together and not be ashamed of our newfound wrinkles or our receding hairlines anymore.

Feeling They Aren't Reaching Expectations

Image Source: Vanity Fair
There's always quite a prestige placed on males (and females too) in all aspects of life and we can all feel a little insecure when we realise we might not be reaching the heights that we know we're able to get too. But let's be honest, there isn't a specific place we're meant to reach in life, we all have our own goals and sometimes we end up challenging ourselves too far. Your partner is always going to be supportive of you whether you're going through the good times or the bad times, as long as you show you love them!

Not Being A Good Enough Partner

Image Source: Reddit
A load of things can cause a man to begin feeling as though he isn't a good enough partner for their girlfriend or wife, including many of the points we've already looked at. You're always going to have that small bit of worry at the back of your mind that you could lose your partner at any point. These feelings can be doubly overwhelming if they spot images or videos on social media of other couples going on holidays or doing activities they haven't done as a couple themselves too! You'd know if you were a bad partner though, people would definitely tell you!

Not Being A Good Enough Parent

                                                 
Image Source: Reddit
When it comes to long-term relationships, there are a lot of things that a man might have smoothed out when it comes to their senses of insecurity. But when children are introduced to the mix it introduces a whole other array of things that a man can feel insecure about. Not only might they be worried they aren't protecting their partner enough, but they might be worried that they aren't being a good enough parent or they aren't providing enough for them. When in reality, as long as your child is fed and loved you're more than good enough!

Being Cheated On Before

Image Source: PhilNews
I'm sure all of you will be able to understand where this insecurity comes from and you wouldn't be deciding to call a man stupid for worrying about the future with a partner when someone he put his trust in in the past let him down severely. Finding out a partner has cheated on you can be extremely devastating and completely ruin the person's confidence within all future relationships. Who even cheats anyway? If you come to the conclusion you can cheat, you just shouldn't be with them anymore!

When Their Partner Is Friends With An Ex

Image Source: TODAY
You don't even need to be friends with an ex for a male to find himself feeling insecure about him and this is something that woman often do in regards to their male partner's ex-girlfriends too. It can be difficult to not compare yourself to a partner's ex, especially when you're constantly reminded of their existence through whatever medium. And let's be honest, some relationships don't end in a toxic manner and it IS okay for people to be friendly with their exes, it doesn't mean they want to get back together again.

Partner Has Lots Of Male Friends

Image Source: Reddit
This one can understandably cause a few problems between partners as no one should feel insecure about a girlfriend having male friends UNLESS they have an obvious reason to do so. This can occur even more commonly when a woman chooses to spend time around a male but hides it, I mean what else is that going to look like. You are definitely allowed to spend time around the opposite sex however, that shouldn't be something that causes too many problems and if it does, just have a chat about it!

When Secrets Are Hidden From Them

Image Source: Reddit
There seems to be a common issue with men and woman in that men tend to get stronger feelings for the females instead of happening vice versa. They can be a lot more open, especially towards the start of a relationship about how they're feeling and this can frighten a female. In return woman can come across quite quiet and secretive. Men who feel as though secrets are being kept from them can become insecure quickly and also quite desperate to find out what it is that's being hidden from them as quickly as they can.

Being Too Feminine

Image Source: Reddit
I'm not entirely sure why this is such a negative thing in the minds of so many men, we all have a partial feminine side to ourselves. Some men have some feminine features (which isn't a bad thing at all) and some men enjoy taking part in activities that are stereotypically associated with females like beauty routines. I'm sure that your partner isn't going to have any issue with you being in touch with your feminine side, if anything it'll show that you're confident and comfortable around them because you love them!

Female Friends Don't Like Him

Image Source: Reddit
The dreaded female friends group chat! This is the arch-nemesis to a wide number of guys around the world. It's commonly known that when a man is trying to find a partner, they don't just have to impress the woman, but they also have to impress all of her friends at the same time. The thing is though, in reality, if the woman in you life loves you, then barring you giving her a reason to leave you, her friends opinions on you won't matter all that much. Maybe try to stay on their good side just in case though huh?