If Your Partner Does Any Of These Things Then It’s Time To Leave

By molly atherton 7 months ago
Have you ever found yourself pondering late at night, "is it time to leave this relationship", you're in the right place. Grab a magnifying glass, don your detective hat and prepare to decode the cryptic clues that your partner might be giving you. Because when it comes to love, sometimes it's not about finding the one but rather discovering when it would be best to hit the escape button. Strap in and see if any of these points are relevant to your relationship.

1. They Constantly Belittle Or Criticize You

In the face of constant criticism, the foundation of your self-esteem begins to crack. It's as if your partner might be chiselling away at your confidence, one cutting remark at a time. This isn't constructive criticism, it's destructive and erodes your sense of self-belief.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might not notice it at first, but it might be time to leave if you begin to realize that your partner makes a habit out of constantly belittling or criticizing you.  This could be for anything you do as well, from criticizing your views and opinions all the way to making fun of your hobbies and interests.Original content sourced from Femanin.com

2. They Make You Feel Isolated

If you've found yourself in the shrinking social landscape, it might be time to cast a lifeline back to the people who were there before the romance began. Reach out to your friends and family, they'll still be waiting for you with open arms and understanding hearts when you're back.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might find that your partner is the only person you seem to hang out with nowadays.  This is because they've slowly and gradually isolated you away from your friends and family.  So it might be time to leave and reach out again to your loved ones, they'll still be there for you when you're ready.

3. They Cheat

If your partner fails to honor the chance you've given them to rebuild the relationship, it might be a glaring sign that the road ahead is fraught with more heartache than healing. Trust is the bedrock of any enduring connection and if it's continuously eroded the essence becomes fragile.

Image Source / The Mirror
Your partner might also have a history of infidelity and cheating, and although you've given them a chance to redeem themselves and make up for their past mistakes (we're all human, right?), their cheating might have crept into your relationship with them.  And if they betray your trust after you've taken a chance on them, then that might be a sign that it's not going to work in the long run.

4. They're Jealous And Possessive Of You

Feeling crowded in a relationship is like trying to navigate a cluttered room with no breathing space. It's an unsettling sensation of being constantly watched and judged, as if your every move is subject to scrutiny. Your interests, once celebrated are now met with passive aggressiveness.
Image Source / Reddit.com
When we're in a relationship, there's that element of compromise and consideration for our partner.  But if you find yourself feeling crowded by them, and constantly made to feel guilty for having your own interests, friendship group, and routines, then it's probably worth considering putting an end to it before you stop doing and being with everything and every one your love.

5. They Have Addictive Behaviors

It's like trying to fill a leaky bucket; your support, no matter how genuine, may seep through the cracks of denial and resistance. The toll this can take on your own emotional well-being is substantial. The weight of trying to be the anchor can become too overwhelming.
Image Source / Reddit.com
Your partner might display addictive behaviors, such as gambling. And although you have all of the good intentions in the world of supporting them, and perhaps helping them through their addiction, if they're not ready to address it, it can certainly do you more harm than good.

6. They Make You Feel Guilty

Before the overriding emotion of guilt becomes to deep inside you, it might be the opportune moment to reassess the emotional dynamics at play. Partnerships should be built on a foundation of mutual respect and support, not a subtle power play that leaves one partner perpetually on the defensive.
Image Source / Reddit.com
If you're feeling guilty all the time because you're thinking about your partner, then maybe this is exactly their intention.  In some relationships, one partner can make the other one feel guilty for hanging out with other people, pursuing their own ambitions or hobbies, or even making them feel guilty for their own negative emotions.

7. They Refuse To Compromise

The risk of losing your own identity in this process can be extremely significant. A healthy relationship should be a space for both partners to express their individuality, to celebrate the uniqueness each brings to their shared canvas of life. Your voice can become drowned out. 
Image Source / Reddit.com
All relationships are about compromise.  That goes without saying.  But if your partner refuses to budge from what they want to do, or eat for dinner, or where to go, or even how to decorate, then it might be time to call it a day.  You're never going to change their mind on anything and staying with the risks you losing some of your own identity.

8. They're Aggressive Towards You

When words turn into weapons or physical actions become a means of asserting control, it is not merely a bump on the road but a glaring signal that the relationship is becoming abusive and toxic. This could end up leaving scars that live with someone for an entire lifetime.
Image Source / Reddit.com
A sure sign that it's time to leave, is when your partner is verbally or physically aggressive.  These are definite signs of an abusive and toxic relationship that shouldn't carry on.  At least without them getting help and support for their anger management issues.  If you're feeling in danger, you should seek help from professionals, or even friends and family to support you in leaving.

9. They Blame Others For Their Problems

In healthy relationships, both partners contribute to the ongoing narrative, recognizing their influence on the collective story. However, when one party evades taking responsibility for their actions it disrupts the balance of shared accountability between you both.
Image Source / Reddit.com
Another sign that the relationship has probably run its course is if your partner cannot take any responsibility for their own problems.  They might absolutely refuse to address their issues and continue to blame others for everything that might not be going to plan in their life.

10. They Have A Criminal Or Violent Past

A relationship should be a sanctuary of growth, understanding and shared aspirations. If your partner begins retracing the footsteps of their troubled past then it introduces a palpable risk to the safety and well being of yourself as well as the relationship as a whole.
Image Source / Reddit.com
Your partner may or may not have a criminal or violent past.  And it's important to point out that word: past... This is because people can and do have the ability to rehabilitate and make up for mistakes they have made in the past.  But it might be time to leave if they didn't learn and begin to display these behaviors again.

11. They're Manipulative And Deceitful

In the face of manipulation, the toll on self-esteem is particularly pronounced. The insidious nature of deceit fosters an environment where your confidence is subtly undermined, and you may find yourself questioning your own judgement. The inability to trust can cast a shadow.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might notice that they're incredibly manipulative of you and others and they get by lying and deceiving people.  And you just find that you can trust them at all, which will no doubt make you feel constantly on edge and you might also feel constantly betrayed.  This is not going to do you any good and might start to lower your self-esteem.

12. They're Financially Irresponsible

Whilst navigating the financial waters together can be a testament to trust and collaboration, it also requires a shared commitment to fiscal responsibility. If your partner exhibits a pattern of irresponsibility it can introduce a significant risk and jeopardize your stability.
Image Source / Reddit.com
When you're in a relationship, after a while, you might become financially linked, especially if you're living together and making joint purchases.  So if they're completely financially irresponsible, they might bring you down with them.  And the worse thing is, you might not even know about the loans and purchases applied for and made in your name.

13. They Have Extreme Moods

Communication is more than paramount in relationships. Couples need to be able to openly discuss the impact of issues, including mood swings on partners in order to understand eachother and be able to create a collaborative space for the two of you to coincide together.
Image Source / Reddit.com
If you spend your life feeling like you're walking on eggshells around your partner, you're probably doing yourself more harm than good.  One minute they're completely elated with a huge amount of energy, and the next they're moping around, unable to snap themselves out of their lowness.  You can choose to support them during periods of extreme mood swings but it's going to be exhausting!

14. They're Incredibly Materialistic

The impact of being relegated behind material possessions extends beyond the immediate reactions. it's indicative of a deeper issue. An excessive materialism that overshadows the emotional bonds and mutual understanding that should characterise a healthy relationship.
Image Source / Reddit.com
If you find yourself coming last in the pecking order behind their material things, then it's probably time to call it quits.  You might have experienced your partner's wrath when you've done as little as place your pinky on one of their precious guitars.  And no, it's not because they're passionate, they're overly materialistic and completely unreasonable.

15. They Never Keep Promises

The repercussions of a partner's consistent inability to fulfil promises extend beyond the immediate disappointment. It introduces a persuasive sense of uncertainty and doubt, eroding the emotional security that should underpin a healthy connection.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might also find that they're completely useless when it comes to them fulfilling their promises and making commitments.  And the thing is, you are supposed to be able to rely upon your partner and equally, they can rely on you.  So if you can't, then that's certainly a sign of a doomed relationship.

16. They're Emotionally Distant

When a partner refuses to share their thoughts and feelings, the foundation of the relationship is undermined. Emotional intimacy requires, a willingness to be vulnerable, to open up and share the intricacies of one's inner world. If this is withheld, the connection becomes a mere shell of what it could be.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might never know what they're really thinking or truly feeling.  They keep you guessing all the time and make you feel guilty for not being able to read them.  If your partner is completely emotionally distant and they refuse to share anything with you, the relationship probably feels like you're flogging a dead horse and it's probably time to flee.

17. They Try To Control Your Life

The conseuences of control in a relationship can extend beyond the physical world, and infiltrate the emotional fabrics of a relationship too. You might end up becoming overly reliant on your partner for everything from validation to decision-making because of the way they treat you.
Image Source / Reddit.com
Perhaps you're feeling like you've completely lost your independence, or you're gradually feeling more and more restricted in your life.  That's because you might be in a controlling relationship where your partner is aiming to make you completely reliant on them for everything.

18. They Make Inappropriate Comments Or Exhibit Inappropriate Behavior

Offensive comments and inappropriate behavior, especially towards marginalized groups are not only indicative of a misalignment of values but also a breach of basic decency. It goes beyond the realm of ideological differences and enters the territory of disrespect and insensitivity.
Image Source / Reddit.com
As time passes, you might start to believe that your views and ethics don't align at all.  In fact, you might find yourself offended by their inappropriate comments and embarrassed by their inappropriate behavior, particularly towards marginalized groups of people.

19. They Withhold Affection

The longing for affection can often become a silent plea for acknowledgment and validation. The absence of such gestures can foster a negative atmosphere of emotional neglect. Your needs for support and communication can be relegated to the periphery of the relationship.
Image Source / Reddit.com
To make you feel even worse and starved for attention and support, they might even withhold their affection from you.  This can only be described as a cruel and deliberate attempt at making you feel unworthy of love and compassion unless you fit into the mold they've made for you.

20. They Refuse To Address Their Mental Health

Image Source / reddit.com 
Many people experience issues with their mental health, and at some point in their lives, everyone will experience difficulties.  But if they absolutely refuse to address or open up about any issues they're experiencing with their mental health, this can be detrimental to the relationship.

21. They Criticize Your Appearance

Clothing choices weight and other aspects of our physical appearance are deeply personal and subjective. A healthy relationship should be a haven where both partners feel accepted, appreciated and supported in their individuality. It creates an atmosphere of toxicity.
Image Source / Reddit.com
A major red flag for any relationship is when a partner finds faults in your appearance.  This can range from anything including making fun of your choice of clothing to criticizing your weight.  And the thing is, this cruelty can give you a real complex and insecurities about the way to look.

22. They Gaslight You

Gaslighting can create a skewed reality where your partner's version of events holds more weight than your own, leaving you disoriented and subservient to their narrative. The danger lies in both the immediate emotional toll and the long term consequences.
Image Source / Reddit.com
If they make you question your memory and your perception of reality, they're gaslighting you and this is a huge sign that you should throw in the towel now before it gets worse.  You see, over time this can make you seem smaller and smaller so you stop trying to have an opinion, and eventually, everything you know and remember is from their mouths, not yours.

23. They Pressure You To Change Your Physical Appearance

The impact of toxic behavior like this extends beyond the surface level of your physical appearance, it can seep in to the realms of your self-esteem and confidence too. Constant remarks and suggestions about how you should change your appearance can create a sense of scrutiny.
Image Source / Reddit.com
One thing you definitely need to know is that your physical appearance is down to you, not them.  And one really toxic trait of a terrible partner is when they start making sly digs at how you look and start making suggestions (that may turn into demands) about how you can change your appearance including losing weight, having a haircut, and even what you wear.

24. They Don't Let You Have Any Input In Important Decision-Making

It's vital to recognize the toll that relinquishing control can take on your sense of self. In a relationship where one partner consistently dictates decisions, your identity may become subsumed by the preferences and desires of the others. It can damge you long-term.
Image Source / Reddit.com
When they're in control of the relationship and of your life, one clear sign is that they don't let you have any input in your own or joint decision-making.  You have to remember that your decisions affect you so it is important that you make the best decision for your own well-being and call it a day on the relationship before you lose yourself.

25. They're Emotionally Unavailable

The inability to make a deep emotional connection isn't a reflection of your worth of efforts; rather, it's a sign of your partner's limitations in fostering emotional intimacy. It's essential to recognize that emotional connection is a reciprocal dance and shared exploration.
Image Source / Reddit.com
You might be so desperate for them to acknowledge your feelings and respond to your emotions, but they never do.  And you find it completely impossible to make a deep emotional connection with them because they're completely emotionally unavailable to you.

26. They Never Show Empathy Or Compassion Toward You

The lack of empathy could manifest in many ways; your partner might dismiss your feelings, downplay the significance of your experiences, or complete indifference to your emotional needs. The neglect can erode the entire connection you've managed to create.
Image Source / Wikipedia
If it's time to leave, you might have noticed that your partner is completely incapable of showing you any empathy whatsoever.  In fact, you feel completely ignored by the lack of compassion you receive from them and you might not feel like they understand you or what you need in the slightest.

27. They Hate To See You Succeed

This behavior often stems from a place of insecurity, where your success can be seen as a threat to their own self-worth. The inability to genuinely celebrate achievements reflects a competitive mindset within the relationship; they're only thinking about themselves.
Image Source / ScienceAlert.com
When you succeed, they absolutely cannot stand it.  It's all about them, not you, and if you ever step into the limelight with your success, they try to steal it away from you in an attempt to take center stage themselves.  And maybe, just maybe, they begin to feel a little smaller and less significant when you achieve.

28. They Downplay Your Achievements

Picture moments of personal triumph, where you're eager to share the joy of your achievements with your partner, only to be met with dismissive remarks or attempts to diminish your success. It isn't constructive, they're only belittling you and the way you work.
Image Source / Buzzfeed.com
If they downplay your achievements, this is a sure sign of jealousy and it's very clear that they're massively threatened by your success.  And because of this, they might begin to feel like they're losing their control of your life so they attempt to lower your self-esteem by knocking you down a peg or two.

29. They Blame You For Their Negative Emotions

Feeling constantly responsible for your partner's moods can be emotionally draining. It fosters a sense of guilt and anxiety, as you can navigate a relationship landscape where your actions are perceived for their emotional states. This can cause a power imbalance.
Image Source / Reddit.com
And if they feel bad, it's all your fault.  They want you to feel completely responsible for their terrible moods as if you're the one who caused them.  And perhaps it's all in an attempt to get you to dote upon them and always consider them before doing anything yourself.

30. They're Insensitive To Your Needs And Feelings

Recognizing these emotions is crucial for your own well-being; you need to acknowledge that you deserve to feel fulfilled, considered and important within a relationship. This is the first step towards asserting your own needs as you could be left feeling isolated.
Image Source / Reddit.com
It is probably time to leave if you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, unconsidered, or unimportant, in any way.  You might feel like you do everything for them, consider their feelings, and you're just getting nothing in return.  They're completely insensitive to your feelings and you might not feel you're getting what you need from this relationship.

31. They Turn To Other People For Emotional Support

Confronting a discovery like this could initiate an open and honest conversation with your partner; expressing your concerns could be an opportunity to understand reasons behind their choices instead of feeling as though you've been left in the dark by your partner.
image source: reddit.com
When you're in a happy relationship, you should be turning to each other for that much-needed emotional support. And, importantly, your partner should want to do that. Have you found out that they go to someone else for emotional support instead? A co-worker or a friend?

32. They Try To Imply You're Stupid

Mutual respect forms the bedrock upon which understanding, support and love can flourish. Imagine finding yourself in a situation where your partner consistently implies that you're stupid. This delves in to the realm of disrespect as they undermine your intelligence.
image source: reddit.com
The implications of being consistently belittled in this manner go beyond mere disagreement; they chip away at your self-esteem and create a sense of intellectual inferiority. This can ultimately breed frustration, resentment and a sense of unfulfillment within the relationship.

33. They Don't Believe 'No' Is A Full Sentence

This persistent disregard for your boundaries can create a challenging and uncomfortable dynamic within your relationship. The repeated questioning and attempts to override your decisions may leave you feeling disempowered and frustrated in the relationship.
image source: reddit.com
They don't take it on board when you say no. If you say no, they have to question it 10 more times, or try to convince you otherwise. They then might angry if you still say no. They don't respect whenever you say no, no matter what it is, even something as small as wanting a dessert or not in a restaurant.

34. They've Made It Clear They Only Value You For One Thing

Consider a scenario where your partner seems more interested in the perks associated with your life rather than the depth of the relationship. They may be drawn to your influence in social circles, using your various connections to try and advance their own.
image source: reddit.com
This doesn't necessarily have to be your looks or body, though those of course are obvious ones. They might only be with you for 'one thing' that they can use to their advantage, which could be your influence, your friends, your job or your money. Maybe they're even using you to live with you because of a house you own or rent.

35. They Never, Ever Positively Influence You

Picture moments when you spend time with your partner, yet there's a noticeable void in the positive impact on each other's lives. The lack of shared good habits and the absence of positive influence on communication can create a void for any future potential growth.
image source: reddit.com
Your partner should bring out the best in you, but it's not just that. When a healthy, happy couple spends a lot of time together, it's easy to pick up on their good habits, their way of speaking or be positively influenced by their routine. If this never, ever happens, it's not a good sign!

36. But They Definitely Negatively Influence You!

On the flip side, you may have noticed that they only way they've ever influenced you is actually in a negative way. In terms of picking up on their habits, you may have turned to a ton of bad ones because of spending time with them. Or maybe even spending time with them has driven you to want to drink or smoke and escape it all.
image source: reddit.com
Recognizing the negative influence your partner has had on you prompts a deeper exploration of the relationship's impact on your well-being. In a healthy partnership, the influence should contribute positively to personal growth not even close to being negative.

37. They Make You Feel Paranoid About Your Body

You should always feel comfortable with your body around your partner. You can still have insecurities in a healthy relationship, but what matters is how they make you feel about it. Are they always dropping hints that they don't like something about you, or about the way your body looks?
image source: reddit.com
Confronting this issue involves initiating some open discusstion with your partner about your concerns. If they're receptive then it could signal a positive future, if not it could mean that the negative pattern might be something that's going to persist for considerable time.

38. They've Broken Up With You And Got Back Together Numerous Times

It's never a good sign when someone is constantly breaking up with you and then making up again. Sure, some couples can have this happen and it can make them stronger. But if it happens several times, it can be a sign they're just dropping you and picking you back up whenever it suits them.
image source: reddit.com
Choosing to confront this issue is an assertion of your right to be part of a stable and committed relationship, free from the constant upheaval of breaking up and making up. You don't deserve to be in a constant flow of having your boundaries broken all the time.

39. They Make You Do Things You're Ashamed Of

You should never do anything you're ashamed of at the whims of your partner, so it's worrying if their influence over you is making you do things you're not proud of. Maybe they've told you to dress a certain way, say certain things, or you're just ashamed of the person you are around them.
image source: reddit.com
In a healthy relationship, partners encourage each other to be true to themselves, fostering an environment where authenticity is celebrated rather than stifled. If your partner's influence is consistently leading you to do things that conflict with your values it raises concerns.

40. They Dismiss What You're Afraid Of

We all harbor unique fears, whether they be rational or irrational and a compassionate partner will never dismiss or subject you to situations where they can be triggered. You shouldn't have to muster up courage to confide in your partner about a fear.
image source: reddit.com
We all have strange or irrational fears, and even if your partner doesn't quite understand them, they should never dismiss them. The biggest sign of disrespect is when they purposefully put you in situations you're scared of. You tell them you're afraid of heights and they take you on a surprise hike up the highest mountain you've ever seen.

41. They Include You In Their Dishonest Behavior

Not only is them being dishonest a red flag in itself, but do they pull you into all their lies? Do they tell other people they couldn't make it because you told them not to go, or that they need to stay in when you're ill? Do you find people asking you about stuff you didn't even know had happened but you have to play along?
image source: reddit.com
If the disregard for your self-worth continues and they force you to continue be pulled in to their lies then it should raise some critical questions about the overall health of the relationship as well as the individual dynamics that might be found within it.

42. You Actually Feel Worse About Yourself

Personal well-being should always be nurtured and uplifted by your partners when in a relationship. There are instances where they dynamics can take a turn and this can be quite distressing when it feels like each passing day brings on a heavier burden of your emotional state.
image source: reddit.com
You've realized you feel worse about yourself since getting together with them, and every day that passes they seem to make you feel worse and worse. This can happen after a variety of things, day in day out, like being belittled, being ignored or being worried about the relationship.

43. You Don't Feel Like You Can Get/Hold Their Attention

Do you feel like it's a constant battle to hold their attention, like they get bored within 0.001 seconds of a story you're telling them? Maybe it's a struggle even to get their attention in the first place? They should want to listen to you, and it should never be a chore to get them to pay attention to you.
image source: reddit.com
One of the pillars of connection in a relationship is having a genuine interest in your partners lives. Feeling heard, acknowledged and valued is fundamental for the emotional well-being of both individuals. Your partner not doing so will make the relationship more of a task.

44. They Mock You

Imagine a moment where what should be playful banter takes a dark turn, leaving you feeling belittled or disrespected by your partner. Instead of an exchange of good-natured teasing, you find yourself the subject of mockery with them oblivious to how they're affecting you.
image source: asucla.ucla.edu
There's a difference between playful banter in a healthy relationship, and one-sided mocking from your partner. You should never be mocked by someone who supposedly cares about you, because it just shows a lack of respect - especially if it's mocking something you feel sensitive about.

45. You Don't Think They'd Keep A Secret

Trust is one of the most - if not the most - important things in a relationship, and trust isn't just about whether you think they'd cheat on you or not. You also need to trust that a partner will keep your secrets, or respect anything that you'd asked them to keep between you.
image source: reddit.com
Trust encompasses a multifaceted foundation that includes the assurance that a partner will respect your boundaries, uphold confidentiality and honor the commitments you made within the relationship. You need to have the confidence in eachother.

46. They Make Jokes About Leaving You

Having constant jokes made could cause some huge emotional toll on a relationship and also undermine the seriousness of the entire thing too. It's not just about the words spoken but also the distress they could end up causing some people at the same time.
image source: reddit.com
It's never funny when a partner makes a joke about leaving you, especially if they do it in front of other people like joking that you're going to get dumped or on your way to the divorce courts as a 'joke' - and then say that they didn't mean it afterwards when you look upset.

47. It's Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind When It Comes To You

Imagine a situaton where your partner is affectionate and expressive of their love when you're physically together, you'd feel reassured right? But once seperated they might seem to forget your existence and fail to fulfil any of the commitments you'd expect in a relationship.
image source: reddit.com
Relationships can go one of two ways: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and out of sight out of mind. If the latter, this is something to worry about. You can see signs of this if your partner is all lovey-dovey when you're together - 'yes of course I'll text you when I'm out later!' - and then they forget you exist as soon as they're out the door.

48. It's Their Way Or The Highway

Compromise might be replaced by a coercive attitude, and your partner adopts an uncompromising stance on every decision, big or small. Instead of engaging in open dialogue and finding middle ground, they present ultimatums that force you in to accepting their viewpoint.
image source: reddit.com
You should never be given ultimatums in a happy relationship, and especially not forcing you into something you don't agree with. Compromise is important, so if they have a 'it's my way or the highway' attitude about every little thing, this isn't a partner you want in your life.

49. You Worry About How Supportive They Would Be In Bad Circumstances

In a strong and supportive relationship, both partners contribute to each other's well-being, particularly during challenging times. The ability to rely on eachother is a cornerstone of connection and without it you might end up having some quite valid concerns about the commitment.
image source: reddit.com
Maybe your partner has been showing certain subtle signs that they're not very good in bad circumstances, or not very supportive. They might do the bare minimum and you're starting to wonder how much you'd actually be able to rely on them in bad circumstances, like if you lost your job or if you had an injury.

50. They Jeopardize Your Hobbies And Interests

A partner doesn't have to share or understand your hobbies - but they do have to respect them. It's one thing to belittle your hobbies, but do they actually jeopardise them? Maybe you rely on them for a lift to the hobby class and they tell you they forgot at the last minute. Or you ask them to take delivery of some supplies you need and they refuse.
image source: reddit.com
Belittling or jeopardizing your hobbies could send a message of disregard for your interests and undermined the mutual understanding and compromise that form the backbone of a healthy partnership. You should be able to understand the significance things have on one another.