How To Continue A Bond With A Deceased Loved One

By molly atherton 6 months ago
In the great tapestry of life, there are bonds that stretch far beyond the boundaries of time and space. We all have that one person who left an indelible mark on our hearts, whose laughter still echoes in our memories and whose wisdom continues to guide our steps even though they have crossed into the realm of the departed. In this article, we're diving headfirst into the beautiful and mysterious world of continuing your connection with a passed loved one.

Keep a special item of their clothing

It could be anything from their favorite scarf to a cozy cardigan, but keeping something special that belonged to your loved one is a comforting way for you to feel connected to them. Whenever you wear the item, you will feel closer and more bonded to them.

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A cherished item serves as a tangible connection to your loved one. It carries their scent, their energy, and their essence, making it a touchstone that keeps their memory alive. Having something that belonged to your loved one can provide comfort during difficult times.Original content sourced from

Light a candle in their memory

Lighting a candle may only seem like a small gesture to feel closer to your loved one, but sometimes the little things can be the most powerful. Whether you decide to light a candle every day or just on certain occasions, it gives you a moment in the day to reflect.Image Source: RedditA lit candle can be seen as a beacon, guiding your thoughts and emotions to the presence of your loved one. It offers a tangible connection to their memory, evoking a sense of closeness even when they are physically absent. Lighting a candle is a beautiful way to honor them.

Finish a project they were working on

If there was a project your loved one was working on or  something they were involved in, you could always take over to fulfill their mission. This will make you feel more connected to them and they would be pleased that you have carried on their legacy.Image Source: PinterestStepping into your loved one's shoes to continue their project or mission is a testament to your love and dedication. It's a powerful way to express your commitment to preserving their memory. By carrying on their work, you are honoring their passion and dedication.

Raise money for charity in their memory

If you want to keep the memory of your deceased loved one alive and make a difference in the world, raising money for charity in their name will achieve both of those goals. You could complete a challenge or host a fundraising event to make money and donate to your chosen cause.

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Many people are deeply connected to specific charitable causes that reflect their values and beliefs. By fundraising for a cause that was dear to your loved one, you pay tribute to their values and the principles they held dear. Organizing a charity fundraiser is a celebration of your loved one's life.

Put up photos of them

This one may seem obvious, but sometimes people feel pressured into taking photos of their deceased loved one down because they are not around anymore or if it makes someone feel uncomfortable. But having lots of photos up can make you feel closer to your loved one when you see their smile.Image Source: RedditKeeping photos of your loved one on display is a way to sustain your emotional connection with them. Their presence, though not physical, remains an integral part of your daily life, offering a sense of closeness and ongoing connection. The sight of your loved one's smile!

Establish a scholarship in their memory

One great way to stay connected with your deceased loved one and help others at the same time is to establish a scholarship in their memory. By choosing something they were passionate about, you could award someone each year with the opportunity to fulfill their dreams.

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Designing a scholarship centered around something your loved one was passionate about is a beautiful tribute to their interests, values, and beliefs. It reflects their dedication and enthusiasm for a specific field or cause. A scholarship is a lasting and impactful way to ensure your loved one's legacy endures.

Involve them in special occasions

Just because your loved one isn’t physically here anymore, doesn’t mean they can’t be involved in special occasions where their presence was always treasured. You may want to come up with a personal way to commemorate them and encourage others to remember their loved one.

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Special occasions often serve as a time for celebration and reflection. Commemorating your loved one's memory during these moments allows you to celebrate their life, the impact they had, and the cherished memories you shared. By finding personal ways to commemorate your loved one, you maintain their presence in your life.

Fulfil their dreams

If there was something your deceased loved one had always wanted to achieve, do it for them! It could be anything from backpacking around the world to learning how to play the guitar, but this will make you feel more connected to them as you carry out their dreams.

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Fulfilling your loved one's dream is a heartfelt way to honor their desires and aspirations. It's a tribute to their hopes and wishes, and it demonstrates your commitment to their memory. By achieving something your loved one had always wanted to do, you keep their spirit alive.

Celebrate their birthday and other special occasions

Big occasions such as birthdays can be difficult when someone has passed away, but just because they are not around to celebrate these events with you doesn’t mean you can’t still plan something special. This will help you keep a bond with your loved one.

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Planning something special on significant occasions is a beautiful way to honor your loved one's memory. It's a tribute to their life and the love you continue to feel for them. These occasions serve as a thread that connects you to your loved one, even when they are not physically present.

Use a journal to tell them about your day

If you miss being able to just pick up the phone or sit and have a cup of tea chatting to your loved one about how your day was, you could try using a journal to replicate this interaction. This can be a good outlet to discuss how your day was and express your feelings.

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Journaling offers a personal and intimate connection with your loved one. It's a one-on-one conversation where you can speak your mind and share your innermost thoughts, just as you would with them. Grief can be a complex and intense emotion, and expressing your feelings is essential for healing.

Keep something special that belonged to them

Although you can keep as much as you want, having one special piece that you keep on you at all times can make you feel more bonded to your deceased love one. Choose a small item which is easy to carry about or wear so you will feel close to them at all times.

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Carrying a keepsake allows you to maintain a constant and tangible connection with your loved one. It's like having a piece of their presence with you throughout the day. The physical presence of the keepsake can provide emotional comfort, especially during moments of grief.

Leave an empty chair at the dinner table for special occasions

If you really miss your deceased love one, especially on big celebratory occasions like Christmas or a wedding, you can always try leaving an empty chair at the dinner table to enhance the presence of that person in the room and keep their memory alive.

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The empty chair symbolizes the presence of your loved one, even in their physical absence. It's a meaningful way to remember and honor them during important events. By leaving an empty chair, you are actively including your loved one in the celebration.

Imagine what advice they would give you when you’re struggling

It can be overwhelming if you’re having a tough time or you need to make a difficult decision, but just because you’re loved one isn’t here anymore doesn’t mean they can’t give you a helping hand. Try and imagine what advice they would give you based on the type of the person they were.

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Imagining your loved one's advice can be a source of comfort. Their memory becomes a pillar of support, offering solace and reassurance. Your loved one's life experiences can provide valuable insights. By thinking about what advice they might offer, you tap into their knowledge and perspective.

Connect with others online to keep their memory alive

It can be difficult to talk about your deceased love one to people who don’t understand your grief, which is why you could try connecting with people online who are in a similar position to you. This will give you a space to keep talking about your loved one and feel more connected to them.

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Online groups and communities provide a supportive and empathetic environment where people share their grief experiences. It's a space where you can express your feelings and be understood by those who have walked a similar path. It validates your grief.

Tell new people about them

Although some people may try and avoid bringing up their deceased loved one to people who didn’t know them in case they may find this a difficult topic to engage with, you’d be surprised how understanding people are. They probably want to hear stories about them.

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Talking about your loved one allows you to keep their memory alive. It ensures that their impact and influence continue to be felt, even by those who didn't have the chance to know them. Sharing stories is a way to celebrate your loved one's life and the positive experiences you shared.

Keep talking to them

Although at first it may feel strange to speak out loud to someone who isn’t physically there, it doesn’t mean they can’t hear you in spirit. Eventually it will become a normal habit and it can be a comforting way to keep feeling connected to your loved one.

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Speaking to your loved one in spirit is a valuable form of grief expression. It offers an outlet for your emotions and thoughts, allowing you to process your grief. Your words, even when spoken to someone in spirit, help keep the connection with your loved one alive.

Write them letters

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your deceased loved one, you can try writing to them instead. You can use a pen and paper to write physical letters or use an online tool. It is your choice to keep the letters or get rid of them depending on how you feel.

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This approach allows you to express your thoughts, feelings, and messages in a more private and personal manner. You have the flexibility to choose the medium that suits you best, whether it's using traditional pen and paper to craft handwritten letters or employing digital platforms.

Live each day trying to make them proud

Be it a spouse, a parent, grandparent, child, or friend, we often struggle knowing our loved one won’t be there for accomplishments and milestones. Taking time to recognise that your loved one would be proud of you for a specific accomplishment can be comforting and remind us how we continue to be connected to our loved one.

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In the face of this grief, it's essential to take the time to recognize something incredibly heartening: the enduring connection we share with our departed loved ones. They are forever a part of our personal stories and our journey, and present to witness our accomplishments.

Visit their favorite restaurant

Food is the key to the heart, which is why visiting your deceased loved ones favourite restaurant and enjoying a meal can make you feel bonded to them. They may not be there with you, but it will provide you with a comforting feeling that they are present with you.

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A loved one's favorite restaurant is not just a place to eat; it's a place where they created lasting memories, shared laughter, and enjoyed the simple pleasures of life. When we step into that familiar setting and order the dishes they loved, it's almost like they are there with us in spirit.

Try white light meditation

Depending on your religious or spiritual beliefs, you may want to try white light meditation which involves connecting to the soul of your loved one that lives on after death. The aim of the meditation is to open yourself up to receiving messages from them.

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White light meditation is a technique that aims to open a channel of communication between you and the energy or spirit of your loved one. It often involves finding a quiet and peaceful space, closing your eyes, and entering a state of deep relaxation.

Take up a hobby they enjoyed

Taking up a hobby that your loved on enjoyed will not only make you feel closer to them, but it is also a good way to spend your free time and help heal your grief. Depending on the hobby you take up, you might even make some friends and discover a new passion.

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When you immerse yourself in a hobby that your loved one cherished, it's as if you're sharing a part of their world, their interests, and their passions. This connection can bring a sense of comfort and continuity, reminding you of the bond you shared.

Make their favourite comfort meal

We all have comfort foods that feel nostalgic and remind us of certain people, so make sure you don’t avoid your deceased loves ones favourite meal. Cooking can be a therapeutic activity and enjoying their comfort meal will bring back fond memories.

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Cooking the dish your loved one enjoyed is a way to pay tribute to their memory and keep their presence alive in your daily life. The aroma of the ingredients and the familiar sounds of preparation can transport you back to the times you shared that meal together.

Reach out to people they were close with in the past

Depending on the relationship you had with your loved one, you might find it comforting to reach out to people they used to be close with in the past. Finding out more about them and sharing stories will make you feel closer to your loved one than ever before.

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The relationship you had with your loved one may influence the extent to which you want to engage with their past connections. For instance, if they were a parent, sibling, or a very close friend, you may already have a deep understanding of their relationships and shared experiences.

Consider their opinion when making decisions

When you have a close relationship with someone, you start to understand their way of thinking and you can almost predict what their opinion would be on something. This is why you can still consider what your loved one would think even if they are no longer here.

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When a loved one passes away, the physical presence is no longer there, but the impact of their thoughts, beliefs, and values lingers in our hearts and minds. This enduring influence allows us to continue considering what our loved one would think, even though they are no longer with us.

Visit their grave or memorial site

Although this may seem like an obvious way to stay connected to your deceased love one, a lot of people may overlook the power of taking some time out by yourself to sit at the grave or memorial site. Putting effort into maintaining the appearance and laying flowers is also a good way to gain purpose.

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Visiting the grave or memorial site of your loved one offers a sacred space where you can find solace and commune with their memory. It provides a tangible, physical link to the person you cherished, and it can be a place of comfort and remembrance.

Plan a special event for their death anniversary

As the years go on, you may feel like a big event for your loved ones death anniversary is unnecessary but by continuing to make effort on this date each year is a good way to keep that bond going. You can plan an event with friends and family or create a special tradition.

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The act of setting aside this specific date each year reinforces the enduring connection you have with your loved one. It's a time to reflect on the impact they had on your life and to ensure that they remain a vital part of your thoughts and emotions.

Plant a tree in their memory

Trees represent life and growth, so a good way to keep the spirit of your deceased loved one alive is to plant a special tree in their memory. This will also create a private and safe place that you can visit to feel more connected to them in nature.

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Trees symbolize the cycle of life and growth. By planting a tree, you create a living tribute that continues to flourish and thrive, just as your loved one's memory lives on in your heart. The process of planting and nurturing a tree can be therapeutic.

Go on a trip they had always dreamed of doing

Although some people may find it difficult to live through experiences without their loved one by their side, you can also gain a lot of comfort from going on special trips they dreamed of doing. It will help you feel more connected to them and strengthen your bond.

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Fulfilling a dream or a bucket-list item that your loved one had can be a way of honoring their wishes and keeping their memory alive. It's a tribute to their desires and a way to pay homage to the person they were. The experience of going on a trip that your loved one had dreamed of creates a profound connection

Turn their Facebook profile into a memorial page

It can be painful to come across your loved ones Facebook page as it installs the reality that they are no longer here. However, you can request for their profile to be turned into a memorial page which means people can still interact with them to keep their memory alive.

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Converting their profile into a memorial page ensures that their digital footprint and contributions to the online world are preserved. It's a way to respect their online presence and allow others to continue to engage with their content. A memorial page can become a platform for friends and family.

Listen to their favourite music

Music is a powerful tool that can help us relax, express how we feel and improve our well-being. This is why listening to music that your deceased loved one enjoyed or if it was something that you bonded over can be a comforting way to stay connected to them.

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If music was a significant part of your relationship, it can serve as a bridge to the past. The songs you both loved can remind you of the moments you spent together, whether it was dancing, singing along, or simply enjoying the music in each other's company. This connection can be a source of comfort.

Visit the places they loved the most

Visit the places that they held close to their hearts and spend some time there. The places they would visit often and used to talk about fondly. Here you'll feel closer and more connected to them, because you are in a place which they connected to emotionally.Image source/ RedditThe sights, sounds, and smells of these places can trigger a flood of recollections and emotions. Being in a place that your loved one connected with emotionally can make you feel their presence more vividly. It's as if they are with you in spirit, sharing in the experience and the memories that the place holds.

Spray the perfume they used to wear

Smell is the most nostalgic of all the senses we have. Have you ever noticed that when you smell a certain smell or spray old perfume it suddenly transports you to a completely new place and you visit old memories and feelings? Try spraying their old perfume to remember your deceased love one.Image source/ RedditScents are closely tied to our emotions and memory. When you encounter a familiar fragrance, like your loved one's old perfume, it can trigger a strong emotional response, instantly transporting you back to moments you shared with them. Smelling a familiar scent can provide a sense of comfort.

Celebrate their birthday

Their birthday can be a very difficult time with you, on a day that was once about them it is very hard to face the fact that they are no longer with you. But try celebrating it anyway in whatever way you like. This way, you will feel like you are honouring their memory and keeping the connection.Image source/ PinterestCelebrating their birthday is a way to honor and remember the life they lived. It's an opportunity to reflect on their journey, the impact they had on your life, and the cherished moments you shared. This act of remembrance can bring a sense of closure and fulfillment.

Write down all of your memories with that person

One of the best things to do is to sit down with paper and a pen and let your memories fall from your mind to the paper. Get all of those fond memories, fun times, little anecdotes down so that you can read them whenever you miss them and keep those memories strong in your mind as time passes by.Image source/ RedditRecording your memories helps preserve the precious moments you shared with your loved one. These written records become a valuable treasure trove of recollections that you can revisit whenever you miss them. Over time, these documented memories can be a source of comfort and connection.

Raise a toast to them at special events

Raise your glass, make a toast to them at special events. Just because they are no longer physically here doesn't mean they aren't with you. Show you still love them and remember them in company by raising a glass to them at special occasions and mentioning them in your toast.Image source/ RedditToasting to your loved one is a way to honor and remember their memory during significant occasions. It's a gesture of respect and a demonstration of the lasting impact they've had on your life. By mentioning your loved one in a toast, you're reaffirming the enduring connection you share with them.

Remember a quote they used to say

Sometimes we link quotes with certain people. It might not even be a quote, it may be their own unusual saying that they used to like, a word they used to use all of the time. It doesn't matter either way. Get it printed on a plaque and hang it up in your house as a special way to commemorate them.Image source/ RedditPlacing a plaque with their words or favorite quote on your wall makes their presence tangible. It's a visual tribute that reminds you and your visitors of the person you loved and the wisdom or humor they shared. Seeing the quote or saying regularly can provide daily inspiration and motivation.

Talk to them in your internal monologue

Your internal monologue is talking non stop, it commentates your own life, and speaks to you whenever you need it. So use your internal monologue if you don't want to speak to them out loud. This way, you can imagine what they say back to you too and have a kind of internal conversation.Image source/ blazetyUsing your internal monologue to converse with your loved one is a way to keep the connection alive. It allows you to express your thoughts, feelings, and experiences as if you were talking directly to them, fostering a sense of ongoing bond. Grief can be an overwhelming and complex emotional journey.

Watch videos of them in the past

If you are lucky enough to have any videos of them from the past, or even in recent times before they passed away then try watching them. At first this can be painful, but after time you can watch these with joy remembering them for how they really were.Image source/ YouTubeVideos capture the essence of your loved one— their voice, their mannerisms, their laughter, and their expressions. When you watch these videos, it's as if they are still with you, and it keeps their memory vivid and alive. Videos allow you to relive precious moments you shared.

Pray for them

This totally depends on if you are religious or not. And if not, this one is not for you which is totally fine! But if you do like to pray, send them a message and pray that they are watching over you. This could help you feel like you are or can become more connected to them.Image source/ cbcPrayer is a way to establish a spiritual connection with your loved one. It allows you to feel that you are communicating with their spirit and seeking solace in the belief that they are watching over you. Through prayer, you can express your love and gratitude for the time you shared.

Take up some spiritual practices

Alternatively, you may be into spiritual practices. Or, you may want to give it a try. Spirituality can take any form you like crystals, meditation, divination or anything along the spiritual path. So get spiritual and try to feel connected with your deceased love one.Image source/ RedditAlternatively, you may be into spiritual practices. Or, you may want to give it a try. Spirituality can take any form you like crystals, meditation, divination or anything along the spiritual path. So get spiritual and try to feel connected with your deceased loved one.

Put together a photo album

Putting together a photo album of photos is a very good idea to get all of your memories in one place. Somewhere you can look to when you want to feel connected to them and remember them. You can make it personal or add words or make it however you like.Image source/ RedditA photo album allows you to physically hold and interact with the memories you've shared with your loved one. Leafing through the pages brings a tangible connection to their presence and the moments you've experienced together. Looking at photos can evoke powerful emotions and memories.

Create your own memorial

A memorial can be anything, it could be a photo surrounded by some candles or it could be a natural space with lights and special objects. It can be very personal to you and your deceased loved one. But whatever form you make it, it can be a special place for to go and spend time and reflect.Image source/ RedditMemorials are highly personal, reflecting your unique connection with your loved one. You can design it in a way that resonates with your shared experiences, values, and the essence of their personality. A memorial becomes a sacred and peaceful space.

Write down their stories

They may never have written down any of their stories in their life. So you can do it for them. Write down their stories. You may not even be in that story but it doesn't matter. This is a collection of things they have told you about and thing they have done in their life no matter hoe great or small.Image source/ RedditBy capturing their stories, you are preserving a piece of history. These narratives hold unique insights into their life, experiences, and the times they lived through. It's a valuable contribution to your family's and society's collective history. Writing down their stories is a way to honor and celebrate their life.

Channel their spirit when you feel afraid

When you feel afraid, think of them. Think that you now not only have you courage, but their courage as they look down on you and support you. This way you'll never feel as though they are far from you and you'll always feel that you have their courage within you too.Image source/ RedditBy thinking of your loved one in times of fear, you maintain a sense of connection with them. It reinforces the idea that they are still a part of your life, offering support and encouragement from beyond. Imagining their courage can infuse you with a sense of strength and resilience.

Make them proud

Go and make them proud. We're sure they were already proud of you - they may have even told you this. But live knowing that they would be proud of you. Let them influence you in a good way, making decisions that are good for you and those around you.Image source/ RedditThe desire to make your loved one proud maintains a strong connection with their memory. It's a way to honor their influence and the values they instilled in you. Using their pride as a guiding principle in your life helps you make decisions aligned with the values and beliefs they held dear.

See them in beautiful things

Look around at the beauty that surrounds us on a daily basis. See them in the beauty, in a flower budding near you path, in the sun shining down or see them in a red robin, or all of the beautiful little things you notice. Not only will you feel connected, but you'll appreciate what's around you more.Image source/ RedditBy observing the beauty in the world, you can feel a connected presence with your loved one. It's a way to perceive their spirit in the everyday wonders of nature and life. This practice fosters a sense of appreciation and gratitude for the beauty that surrounds you.

Practice a morning ritual of reflecting on a time with them you were grateful for

Morning routines can really set you up for the day. It's becoming ever more popular to create a morning routine which involves self care and journaling. Try incorporating this as well as reflecting on the times you had with your deceased one and the things you were grateful for.Image source/ RedditSelf-care in the morning routine promotes physical and emotional well-being. It allows you to start the day with a sense of self-nurturing, helping you build resilience and emotional strength. Journaling provides a structured way to express your thoughts and feelings.

Plant a tree in their name

Planting a tree in their name can be a very cathartic thing to do because it is something you can watch grow and nurture. It will forever remind you of them when you see it. Plant it somewhere visible, in your garden for example to keep their memory close!Image source/ RedditA tree represents life, growth, and enduring strength. By planting a tree in your loved one's name, you're symbolizing their lasting impact on your life and the world. The tree becomes a tangible reminder of your loved one. Every time you see it, you can feel their presence.

If your loved one was cremated, put some of their ashes inside a ring

If your deceased loved one was cremated, then a very special way to use some of the ashes of your loved one is to place them inside a ring or a piece of jewellery. This way, they are literally with you at all times. And, every time you look at it you'll remember them and feel closer to them.Image source/ PinterestWearing the jewelry means your loved one is physically and symbolically with you at all times. It provides a continuous and intimate connection that can be a great source of comfort. The jewelry serves as a touchstone for memories. Each time you look at or touch it, you're reminded.

Keep your living loved ones close

Don't dwell on the past so much so that you forget to focus on the loved ones around you and what is in front of you. One way to honour your deceased loved one the most is to get even closer to the loved ones you have around you now and focus on making those connections even stronger.Image source/ blogspotBuilding and strengthening connections with those around you is a living tribute to your deceased loved one. It reflects the love and values they held dear, as well as their influence in fostering meaningful relationships. The support of the people who are present in your life is invaluable.