Early Signs That A Relationship Will Not Last

By molly atherton 1 year ago

1. Lack of communication or frequent misunderstandings

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If you and your partner constantly feel like you're not on the same page, something likely needs to change. If you always seem to misunderstand each other or there's a struggle communicating in a healthy way, this could be a sign that you won't last.

2. Disrespectful behavior towards each other

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You should always have respect for your significant other. Whether this is in the way that you speak to them, treat them, or talk about them to others. Disrespecting each other will lead to a lack of trust and hurt - a sure way to damage your relationship.

3. Feeling unfulfilled or unhappy

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When a person feels unfulfilled or unhappy, there is the possibility that they will leave the relationship behind to find happiness elsewhere. They could also act in ways that may be damaging to the relationship, out of desperation to seek fulfilment.

4. Having different values or goals in life

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If two people are going to stay together happily, they need to want similar things out of life! If one person's dream is to settle down with a family, whilst the other has no intention of children and wants to travel the world forever, then it's likely not to work out.

5. There are jealousy issues

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Jealousy creates issues on both sides, the jealous person lives with constant anxiety, anger and insecurities. Whilst the partner on the receiving end is likely to become frustrated, suffocated and resentful that they're being scrutinised and not trusted.

6. Lack of transparency

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If there is an apparent lack of transparency within a relationship, this can indicate many current and future issues! This is likely to create trust issues and prevents closeness as a couple. How can two people be in it for the long term if they don't properly allow themselves to be seen?

7. Constant arguments or fighting

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If the relationship is constant ups and downs, full of turbulence, then it might one day become too much water under the bridge. Constant fights can create an environment where it's normal to insult and disrespect each other, which doesn't build long relationships!

8. Lack of emotional support or neglect

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For a person to choose to stay in an environment, they need to feel like they are valued and supported. Without this, there is likely to be friction and a space will be created between the two. If a person feels dismissed or neglected, they're likely to move on.

9. One or both partners are unfaithful

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Possibly the most obvious reason a relationship may break down is when one person is unfaithful to the other. Cheating on a person could potentially stop them from being able to trust again. Even if they try, the relationship may not ever return to how it was, eventually ending in a split.

10. Different views on important topics such as religion, politics, or family planning

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A big difference in views on important topics is almost certainly going to cause arguments, conflict and friction. Aside from this, it impacts how you want to live your life. If two people in a relationship have different ideas about this, it will be very difficult for them to stay together.

11. Inability to compromise or find common ground

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Relationships are about compromise. If one person has a 'my way or the high way' attitude, they're likely damaging their relationship. A simple compromise can help keep both people happy, satisfied and feeling heard. Failing to do this could end in a split!

12. Ignoring or avoiding important issues

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There may sometimes be awkward, difficult discussions which are needed in a relationship. Whilst it can be uncomfortable, addressing them can help bring two people closer and promote longer lasting happiness. Avoiding issues is likely to create a build up of resentment.

13. Difficulty resolving conflicts or issues

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Everybody experiences disagreements and conflict in their relationships. But, it's important how this is handled afterwards. Blatant disinterest in making up with a partner, carrying on in silence or turning to toxic behaviors will lead to your relationship failing.

14. One partner consistently taking more than giving

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Relationships should be 50/50 overall. Whilst sometimes one person may need a little more through difficult periods of life, this shouldn't be a constant. If one person is not getting anything back and giving their all, eventually, they're going to stop giving!

15. One partner feeling controlled or manipulated

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A lasting relationship should be built on respect and trust. If one person is not allowing the other to be themselves and make their own decisions, then something is seriously wrong. Nobody wants to be controlled or manipulated. Eventually, they are going to decide enough is enough.

16. Lack of physical intimacy or sexual chemistry

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Physical intimacy is what separates a friendship from a romance. Without this, people may have feelings of rejection, hurt and disappointment. Intimacy is key when it comes to closeness, as it helps develop an emotional and physical connection. Lack of intimacy will prevent development and may kill the relationship.

17. Lack of effort or investment in the relationship

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Lacking effort in a relationship can present in many different ways. One example could be a person failing to make time for their significant other. Or, others may become complacent and allow the relationship to turn stagnant. Long, successful relationships happen when the spark stays alive.

18. Lack of shared interests or hobbies

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For two people to stay happy together for the long run, there needs to be enjoyment and fun. If a couple have completely different interests and hobbies with little in common, how are they going to have fun together? When a relationship lacks this, it can quickly become boring.

19. Feeling isolated or lonely within the relationship

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Feeling lonely within a relationship is a whole different kind of loneliness - and it can be very damaging. If one person is feeling ignored or isolated, it's natural that they are going to seek companionship elsewhere. It's no surprise that this would often lead to a relationship ending.

20. One partner feeling smothered by the other

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Nobody wants to feel smothered by their partner. Feeling as though somebody is keeping tabs on you and having your independence stripped away is not attractive! This can only go on so long, before the person is forced to come up for air - out of the relationship!

21. Disagreements about money or financial goals

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Money and finances are a constant which will always run through life. If two people are going to live alongside each other, there needs to be a mutual agreement of how the finances are going to go. According to a study, almost 1/4 of couples break up over finances.

22. Differences in lifestyle or daily habits

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It's normal for couples to have different jobs or daily activities, but when their whole lifestyle and habits don't align, this can cause issues. It can be extremely difficult for two people to remain close when their lives are going in different directions.

23. Being unable to forgive or let go of past mistakes or grievances

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Are you the type to hold a grudge? Or perhaps you often bring up an event that happened 12 months ago and involve it in today's argument? This is not healthy! If something isn't worth a break up, then it's best to let it go. People who punish their partner will create frustration and misery in the relationship.

24. Disrespecting each other's boundaries or personal space

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Boundaries and personal space are a necessity in all relationships! There are times when people will need time on their own or have their own personal boundaries which they are entitled to have respected. If there is a lack of this, this could lead to a feeling of suffocation.

25. Inability to communicate openly and honestly

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If your relationship is built on lies, it's likely to crumble once the truth comes out. Whether it's one big lie or lots of little fibs, this will negatively impact your relationship and could create a huge distance between you. Dishonesty and lack of communication is the opposite of intimacy!

26. One partner being overly critical or judgmental towards the other

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Some people are the type that cannot help but constantly pick at their partner, always pulling them up on things and criticising them. When this is happens, it's sure to damage the connection in the relationship. The receiving partner may feel as though they are walking on eggshells.

27. Difficulty accepting each other's flaws or imperfections

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It may come as a surprise, but nobody is perfect. Relationships are about loving and respecting the other person for who they truly are, not who you want them to be. If one or both people find it hard to accept the flaws that their partner has, it's likely because they're simply not compatible.

28. Lack of respect for each other's friends or family

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It's well known that people can find their in-laws difficult from time to time. But a person's family is often important to them and can be a touchy subject! Bad mouthing them is likely to create resentment and distance, forcing them to choose between their relationship and family.

29. Feeling that the relationship has become stagnant or unexciting

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The secret to long-lasting, fulfilling relationships is to keep things exciting. Of course, over time, how this looks is likely to change. But if two people simply co-exist together, with no effort to go on dates, holidays or try new things, boredom will easily creep in.

30. Too much change or sacrifice for the relationship

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Whilst compromise is a necessity, somebody shouldn't have to sacrifice their whole life to fit another person in. If a person is having to leave their family, friends, or something highly important to them behind for their partner, it could lead to resentment, loneliness or unhappiness.

31. They won't give you a straight answer on plans

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As a happy couple, you should be easily making plans together - at the very least having equal amounts of enthusiasm about doing so. So if trying to make plans with your partner is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone, it can be an obvious sign they don't want to commit.

32. They take ages to answer messages

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This all depends on the circumstances, of course - they might have a job that sees them working busy hours and they're not allowed their phone on them. But if you know that they're free to reply, and it's an urgent question and they still don't, this is a relationship red flag.

33. You don't have those 'deep' conversations

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Good communication in a relationship is about more than honestly discussing your feelings and emotions - it's also about talking about the big things. You might talk all day long, but what are you actually talking about? What you had for dinner and who's doing the chores?

34. You don't get excited to see their name pop up on your phone

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If you're happy with someone, it's a good thing to see their name pop up on your phone - you're excited to read their messages, even if it's just a 'good morning', or you're happy to take their call. But if their name popping up makes you feel weird or wanting to ignore, that's not good.

35. You realize you're pretending everything is better than it is to others

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When you're struggling in a relationship, it can often be difficult to face up to it - or you might be too proud to want others to know you're having problems in your 'perfect' setup. So you might have realized you've been bigging up your relationship to others when deep down you know it's not true.

36. There's something else keeping you together

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A lot of couples can stay together because of something either they need to factor in - usually, this is children or pets. Have you realized that if it wasn't for this other thing, you probably wouldn't be with this person? It's inevitably going to break down over time if that's the case.

37. You avoid going to bed

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You're doing everything you can to avoid going to bed and hopefully 'accidentally' falling asleep on the couch instead. This can be because either you're worried about physical intimacy being initiated when you don't want it, or you just can't bear to have to awkwardly climb in next to them.

38. You realize you've been making excuses on your partner's behalf

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Oftentimes, we can be in denial about what our partners are doing wrong because we're trying to convince ourselves it's not that bad. So if you're constantly making excuses for your partner, like 'Oh sorry they couldn't make this party, they had to work late!' when actually they just told you they didn't want to go, this is a bad sign!

39. They could be right next to you and they feel so far away

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Closeness in a relationship is about more than physical proximity - if they're right next to you on the couch, do they feel a million miles away? Maybe they even feel distant if you're kissing or cuddling - because that emotional chasm is hard to ignore, and you just aren't connected.

40. One word answers

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If you ask them a question - any question, no matter how deep or important - do they only ever give you one word answers? One word answers are difficult to work with and don't give you much to go off. They know this, which is why they give them - they don't want to talk to you.

41. They don't get angry or upset anymore

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This one is a huge sign - because even though it's difficult when you're having shouting matches, them being angry or showing any emotion is a sign that they care. It's when they stop being angry that you should worry, because it means they're numb to it - they don't care enough to be angry anymore.

42. You don't fight, it's overly polite!

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On top of not getting angry or emotional, it's also worse if you're overly polite to each other - almost as if you're strangers exchanging polite pleasantries as you pass each other in the kitchen. If you're overly polite it means it's reverted back to when you barely knew each other at all.

43. You feel obligated to spend time with them

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You should never feel obligated to spend time with your partner. Sure, they'll be times when you might have to compromise and feel obliged to do something, like your partner's work Christmas party, but you shouldn't feel like it's an 'obligation' to just hang out on the couch with them.

44. The quirks you once found cute aren't anymore

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When you first meet someone and fall for them, all those little quirks they have are the cutest thing you've ever seen! But if those quirks have turned into major sources of annoyance for you, like they suddenly make you angry or sent a shiver through you, something has changed in the balance!

45. And you've got the 'ick'

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Ah, the ick. It's what people in relationships dread because it can suddenly change everything, in a matter of seconds. Something your partner does might have suddenly changed everything you thought about them, made you look at them differently and just made you icky in the pit of your stomach.

46. You find yourself holding back on things you want to talk about

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Honest communication is important in a relationship, and you should never hold anything back - but you may have found yourself just not bothering to talk about certain things anymore, because it's just easier to stay quiet than to have them get potentially annoyed.

47. When they make comments about dating other people

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Okay, so it might not be as obvious as 'I want to date other people' because that's obviously an issue, but they might have started dropping hints or observations about the dating pool. about other people or asking you broad questions like 'what do you think about open relationships?'.

48. They aren't the first person you want to share things with anymore

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Your significant other should usually be the first person you want to share everything with, good or bad. They're the first person you call after a promotion, or after something devasting just happened on your favorite TV show. But if you're finding they're definitely not the first person you want to tell, well...

49. You find them checking out when you're talking

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Do their eyes glaze over? Do you see them looking across the room, or maybe even committing that mortal sin, picking up their phone and scrolling while they're talking? If they can't even give you 100% of their attention while you're trying to tell them something, that doesn't bode well for the future.

50. When it gets easier to stay away

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Usually, couples who are apart for a few days will miss each other, counting the days until they're together again. Absense makes the heart grow fonder and all that. But for you - or them - is it more a case of 'out of sight, out of mind'? Do you find the longer you're away from each other, the easier it becomes to want to stay away?