Clear Signs Of Fake Love

By molly atherton 3 weeks ago
Have you ever felt the exhilarating rush of love? That heart-fluttering, stomach-churning sensation that makes you feel like you're walking on clouds, as if you've stumbled upon the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Love has been the muse for countless poets, songwriters, and storytellers throughout the ages. It's the force that fuels epic romances, sets hearts aflutter, and makes life worth living. But, not all love stories are created equal.

Change In Personality

When you first met, it was all smiles and charm but as the relationship has developed you've noticed a massive change in their personality. They no longer act as they once did and it seems like you might be dating a completely different person! This is where you should start to realise something is wrong...
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In the beginning, their smile radiated warmth and charm pulled you in. But now, it's as if they've exchanged their enchanting spellbook for a guide on being a total stranger. Your once-charming partner seems like an undercover agent, and the façade is fraying.

Controlling

Has your partner become sulky? Do they constantly argue with you or stop speaking to you randomly? If this sounds like your relationship then it could be a sign that your love is fake. No partner who loves you should treat you so poorly or try to control you in any way!
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Perhaps you've noticed they've mastered the art of the silent treatment, leaving you in a bewildering state of emotional radio silence. If this scene sounds all too familiar, it's not just a relationship hiccup; it could be a glaring neon sign pointing to the authenticity of your love.

No Self-Love

One of the clear signs of fake love is if your partner says that they love you but they can't even love themselves!  No one is perfect but your partner should want to treat you the same way that they would like to be treated and someone who can't see their worth can't truly love someone else.
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Love should be a two-way street, a dance of reciprocity where each partner brings their own self-love to the table. After all, how can someone truly love another if they struggle to love themselves? It's like trying to share a meal when your plate is empty.

No Growth

Genuine love between two people should nurture the growth in their life and
not hinder it.
If your relationship is hindering your personal growth and your partners then it is not love at all. Happy and loving relationships should encourage you to be more mature and responsible.
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If your relationship feels like an anchor, constantly dragging you down and stifling your personal development, it might be time to question its authenticity. Love should be a driving force that encourages maturity and responsibility, not an obstacle to it.

Doesn't Trust You

True love between two people should inspire complete trust. You should feel absolutely fine with your partner being anywhere in the world surrounded by whomever without fear of betrayal. If your partner doesn't trust you and is constantly jealous then they don't respect you or love you enough!
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True love should never be tainted by unfounded suspicion or possessiveness. When your partner doesn't trust you, it's not a sign of their love; rather, it's an indication of their own insecurities and lack of respect for you. In a loving and trusting relationship, there is freedom and security.

Cruelty

Fake love can be cruel and it doesn't care how much it can hurt someone...true love inspires compassion and kindness! If your partner is
unnecessarily cruel
to you and doesn't treat you well then it's time to get them out of your life for good! You shouldn't feel like you're being stabbed in the heart!
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True love inspires you to be your best self, while fake love keeps you shackled to pain and suffering. It's not an easy decision to make, but choosing to remove toxicity from your life can be the first step on a journey toward genuine love, where kindness, compassion, and respect reign supreme.

No Patience

Okay so we can all get a bit hot-headed from time to time but if your partner is blowing up at you over the smallest of things then there is something definitely wrong that isn't being addressed. Fake love won't have patience and it will be angry, dismissive and snappy. Anyone who truly loves you will always be patient!
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Fake love is quick to anger, dismissive, and often snappy, showing little regard for your feelings or the connection you share. True love, on the other hand, is patient and understanding. It recognizes that in the ebb and flow of life, there will be ups and downs

Broken Promises

When the relationship started your partner was always saying all the right things, but did their words ever actually match up to their actions? The reality is that people who aren't in love will always break those promises that they made to you -
You deserve better!
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Ah, the sweet serenade of promises. Your partner, at the outset, might have been a maestro of eloquent pledges, a wordsmith crafting poetry that could rival Shakespeare. But, did their actions ever waltz harmoniously with their words, or were they performing a disjointed, offbeat tango?

Doesn't Understand You

It's not love if your partner doesn't understand who you are deep down inside! A loving partner should be able to know you inside out and also make the effort to get to know you. People who pretend to love you aren't interested in getting to know you that well and will always keep you at arm’s length.
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Pretend lovers treat your inner world like a locked vault they'd rather not touch with a ten-foot pole. They're like tourists on a sightseeing tour, content with the superficial attractions but unwilling to venture into the uncharted territory of your heart.

No Future

Whilst true love will always look to the future and will try to build a life together, fake love will remain stagnant. Someone who isn't in love with you will avoid having serious conversations and you will feel like the relationship is going nowhere, especially when they can't even be bothered making short-term plans!
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If your partner can't be bothered to make even the smallest short-term plans, you're left feeling like a traveler stranded in a perpetual layover with no final destination in sight. Then it's just a love story without chapters, a road trip with no map.

Makes You Feel Unattractive

Sweetie any partner who makes you feel unattractive isn't the one! People who fake being in love normally have low self-esteem issues and are looking to bring down their partner so that they feel better about themselves... being in love means you aren't just attracted to their looks but also their soul -
don't forget that!
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Love should be the ultimate beauty contest for the heart and soul, where looks are just one piece of the puzzle. When someone claims to love you but consistently makes you feel unattractive, it's not love; it's more like a sabotage mission on your self-esteem.

No Communication

Communication is key to any successful and loving relationship. No matter how bad the relationship gets if the couple is in love they will still be able to talk to each other and work things out. People who aren't really in love won't be bothered to work on their communication skills.
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Now, let's talk about those who aren't truly in love. They treat communication like a foreign language they have no intention of learning. It is like being in a musical where everyone's singing different songs, and there's no conductor to guide them.

Things Have Become Routine

If you've been together for a long time it is easy and understandable to
fall into routines
and it can sometimes seem like being in a bad relationship is better than being in no relationship at all...but this isn't true! I know the world seems scary when you're facing it alone but being trapped in a loveless relationship isn't any better...
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So, if your relationship feels more like a discordant cacophony than a harmonious melody, it might be time to reassess whether love is truly in the air. In the grand opera of love, communication is the libretto that narrates your story. It's the key to resolving conflicts!

They Put On A Show

One tell-tale sign that your partner is faking their love, is how they act in front of others. They might change their personality when in their social group, maybe they show you way more affection when in front of yours? or better yet they act like you aren't even in a relationship - 
Major red flag alert!
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If your partner transforms like a superhero donning their cape when they're in front of their social group or showers you with affection when your friends are around, it's a major red flag. It's like they're playing a role in a theatrical production, putting on a show for the audience.

Can't Handle The Truth

It's never easy to accept when you might be wrong about something but if your partner is afraid of hearing the truth then they aren't truly in love with you. For a relationship to grow we need to accept home truths that we might not like…but any person who honestly loves you will accept them!
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If your partner recoils from facing the truth, it's time to have a heartfelt conversation and evaluate whether the love you share is strong enough to weather the storms and celebrate the sunshine. Love is a journey of growth, understanding, and acceptance, where honesty guides the way.

Only Interested In Money

If prioritising money and other material things come before your happiness then they don't love you! Money stresses can be difficult but it is important to understand when your partner is just struggling and when they just see you as just some sort of cash machine.
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If your partner is more interested in your wallet than your heart, it's time to have a serious conversation about the authenticity of their love and your shared future. After all, the riches of true love are far more valuable than any material wealth.

They Are Unkind

Anyone who can hurt someone they
"love"
physically or mentally is not actually in love at all. If your partner is always subjecting you to lies, bad manners and unkindness then they are faking their love for you. You don't deserve to be treated this way and it is not how a person in love acts.
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Love should be a sanctuary of safety, respect, and kindness. It's a bond where physical and emotional harm have no place. If your partner consistently subjects you to lies, bad manners, or unkindness, it's a glaring sign that their love might be nothing more than an act.

Disrespectful

A real test to see if love is fake or real is looking at how your partner respects you. Ask yourselves some questions like how do they talk to you in front of others, do they support you or make you feel good?...if the answer is no then it isn't love. If you don't respect someone you can never love them.
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If respect is absent from the relationship, love can't thrive. Love and respect are intertwined; one cannot exist without the other. When respect is lacking, it's a sign that the love you're experiencing might be more of an empty gesture than a deep, abiding emotion.

Not Forgiving

True love means being able to forgive your partner when they've done something wrong. If your partner isn't able to move past rough patches or their issues with forgiveness then it's a sign of fake love. Being in love means you are willing to work on any issues and want to forgive your partner.
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On the flip side, if your partner is unable to forgive or consistently holds grudges, it's a clear sign that their love might not be as genuine as it should be. True love is not about keeping score or harboring resentment; it's about finding a path forward together, even when the path is rocky.

They Are Insecure

It is important that romantic partners must feel loved and respected to feel secure in a relationship. However, a clear sign of fake love is when the relationship is torn apart by
insecure feelings!
Insecurity can manifest in many destructive ways and can create an unhealthy relationship that isn't based on love!
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Love should be the antidote to insecurity, a soothing balm that offers a safe and nurturing space for both partners to grow and thrive. If insecurity is tearing apart your relationship, it's essential to address the underlying issues, communicate openly, and work together to rebuild trust.

Not Humble

A sign of fake love that you may not recognise is when your partner isn't humble. Partners who never listen but always talk, put others down to make themselves feel better and regard themselves more than their loved ones, are only after attention and recognition... meaning they have no time in their heart for you!
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True love is characterized by a sense of humility, a willingness to be humble, and an understanding that both partners should be equally valued and heard. It's about sharing the spotlight and supporting each other's growth. Love should never be a one-sided performance.

Won't Make Sacrifices

Sometimes in life, we all have to make compromises but it shouldn't feel like a chore if it benefits your loved ones...fake love will not make these kinds of sacrifices. Any loving partner should want to change bad habits or negative attitudes to improve your relationship not hinder it!
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In a genuine, loving relationship, compromise is a harmonious dance where both partners are willing to adapt and make sacrifices for the greater good of the connection. It's a partnership where the desire to see your loved one happy is the driving force behind change.

They Don't Believe In You

Supporting and uplifting your partner is an important part of any happy relationship. You should want to show off your partner's achievements and give them your support. Only people who aren't in love show no interest in your successes and don't believe in you.
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So, if your partner's disinterest or lack of support is a persistent issue, it's important to address it and assess the authenticity of the love you both share. Love should be an alliance where both partners are each other's biggest fans and supporters.

Unemotional

When you don't love someone you're not interested in getting to know them on an emotional level. You keep them at a distance and never try to delve deeper into the relationship by being emotionally inanimate. If this sounds like your relationship then please realise that your relationship isn't true love.
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In a loving relationship, the emotional bond should be a treasure that both partners cherish and nurture. It's the commitment to understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and the willingness to be emotionally vulnerable and supportive.

No Intimacy

Having a strong intimate connection between two people is a true sign of love but when the relationship lacks this it means that the love can
never thrive.
Without intimacy, you can never truly know if your partner is in love with you or feel secure in the relationship.
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So, if your relationship is lacking the passionate and intimate connection that love thrives on, it's time to rekindle that flame or reevaluate whether the love you share is genuine. After all, in the grand love story of life, intimacy is the thrilling chapter that turns pages and ignites the heart.

You've Changed

You know deep down inside that your partner might not feel the same way about you as you do...this lack of affection is driving you crazy and you've noticed you're trying to change yourself for them. You must understand nobody who loves you would want you to change...they love you for who you are!
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Let me tell you something, my dear: True love is not a chisel to sculpt you into someone you're not. It's a warm embrace that says, "I love you for you, quirks and all." It's a recognition that your uniqueness is what makes you special and cherished, not something to be fixed or changed.

Always You That Initiates

A major sign of fake love is when you're always the one who is initiating things! It is always you who starts all the conversations, plans date or reaches out and it is never the other way round. This can be incredibly frustrating, hurtful and just downright disrespectful -
know your worth!
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If you find yourself always taking the lead, starting conversations, planning dates, and reaching out, it can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. It's a sign that the other person might not be as invested in the relationship as you are. You should never have to beg for someone's time or affection.

Unreliable

Lack of accountability and responsibility in a relationship is a clear sign of fake love. If your partner isn't fully in love with you then they try not to put as much effort into your connection and is completely fine with just cancelling plans with you all the time.
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When your partner consistently avoids accountability and responsibility, whether it's by canceling plans regularly or failing to invest effort in the relationship, it's a clear sign that their love might be more superficial than genuine. True love is a partnership!

Things Are Never Easy

Is your relationship always on the brink of disaster? Or do you constantly feel like you might break up over the tiniest things? Faking love in a relationship usually results in turmoil because your partner will never have the patience or affection needed to resolve conflict healthily.
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Fake love often results in chaos and turmoil because the patience and affection required to navigate conflicts are lacking. It's like trying to build a house on shifting sands; the foundation is unstable, and the structure is always in danger of collapsing.

You've Got A Gut Feeling

Ultimately, the best advice I can give is always to listen to your gut! Your gut instinct is to try to subconsciously tell you that there is something off with your relationship. Don't waste any more time on someone who isn't in love with you...
You Deserve Better!
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So, if your gut is sending you signals that something isn't right, don't ignore it. Trust yourself, and have the courage to make choices that honor your happiness and well-being. You deserve better, and you have the power to create a love story that's authentic, nurturing, and enduring.

It feels like a hole where love should be

You just can't put your finger on it, or maybe you've not let yourself admit it, but there just feels like a gap where something is missing - and it's a pretty big gap, because it's what genuine love is supposed to fit into it. When everything is fake, it never really feels complete.
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True love is what fills that gap, making the picture whole and complete. It's the warm embrace that banishes the chill of emptiness and creates a sense of fulfillment. When love is authentic, it transforms the relationship into a masterpiece of connection, understanding, and joy.

Everything feels very surface-level

Your relationship might also feel very shallow. You might feel like you're putting on a front, or everyone thinks you have the perfect relationship when you're out and about with friends and family, but it all feels very different behind closed doors. It feels very superficial.
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When a relationship feels shallow and superficial, it can be disheartening. It's like wearing a mask that hides your true feelings and experiences. It's important to recognize that genuine love should not require pretenses; it should be a safe space where both partners can be their true selves.

You've never had a deep conversation

What can also make it feel like a shallow relationship is the fact that you've never really had a deep conversation - about your lives, the world, the universe, or even something deep and meaningful about your favorite TV show! When you stop and think about it, you've only ever had shallow conversations.
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True love invites you to explore the universe of your partner's mind and heart, discussing not just the trivial but also the profound. It's about sharing your thoughts, fears, dreams, and aspirations, creating a deep connection that goes beyond the superficial.

It feels like it's all based on sex

Now, fake love doesn't mean that you can't have a physical relationship, or that the physical relationship can't be good. You might have a great sex life, but that's all there is to it - so if it feels like this is all there is, it's a sign it's nothing deeper or more special than a physical relationship.
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If it feels like your relationship is primarily based on the physical aspects, and there's little to no emotional or intellectual connection, it's a sign that it may not be deeper than a physical relationship. While physical intimacy is important, it's the emotional bond that counts!

You don't feel good about yourself

When you're in love - and know someone loves you - it can make you feel empowered and happy. You don't have time to be insecure, because what would you have to feel insecure about? But a fake relationship will have you feeling pretty bad about yourself.
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In a real love story, there's no room for insecurity because you recognize that you're loved for your authentic self. The relationship is a source of strength and happiness, and it instills a sense of self-worth and confidence. In a fake relationship, you might feel unworthy.

You feel lonely even when you're with them

You can feel lonely in relationships even when you're sat right next to your partner - and feeling lonely is a key sign the relationship isn't working. Not only that, it can be a sign of fake love. Because even though they're faking all these sentiments of being your person, you can feel all alone - because there's no love there.
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Love should be the antidote to loneliness, a powerful connection that banishes the sense of isolation and solitude. It's about finding a true partner who understands you, supports you, and stands by your side, creating a bond that dispels the feeling of loneliness.

It's more about companionship

Relationships based on companionship can of course work - you can love and respect someone without it being overly romantic. But fake love can come from the idea of one person being so scared of being alone that they just 'settle' for anything to have a companion.
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Fake love can arise from the fear of being alone, leading someone to settle for a relationship that lacks authenticity and depth. It's driven by a sense of desperation rather than genuine affection, and it can result in an unfulfilling connection. The distinction between these types of relationships is essential.

You've realised you don't know many personal things

If you've never had a deep conversation, chances are you don't know many personal things about each other either! Relationships should be about learning and growing with the other person and getting to know all these personal things about each other - so if that's missing, it's a sign.
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Conversations about dreams, fears, memories, and personal histories should be part of the fabric of a loving relationship. It's through these conversations that the depth of the connection is revealed, and a sense of intimacy and understanding is nurtured.

You've changed yourself a lot for them

People in relationships can change for the better, or make compromises, but you shouldn't ever fundamentally change who you are as a person. Someone who loves you would never expect you to change - they'd love you for who you are - so you have to ask yourself why you've felt the need to make these changes.
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If you've felt compelled to make fundamental changes to your core identity, it's worth reflecting on the reasons behind these changes. Sometimes, people may change for the better, evolve, or develop new aspects of themselves, and that's a natural part of growth.

It always feels like it's one conversation away from ending

You know that feeling you get when you just know something is coming to an end and everything is about to change? It might not officially end, but you just have that feeling
all the time
, no matter what. You should never feel that way in a healthy and happy relationship with real love!
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True love creates a sense of stability, security, and continuity. It should be a source of comfort, knowing that you have a dependable partner who stands by your side through the highs and lows of life. A pervasive feeling of impending change is often a sign that something might be amiss.

You're never a priority

If someone truly loves you, they're going to make you a priority. Sure, it's not always possible if something unavoidable comes up, like an unexpected work emergency, but it's more about them trying their best to make you priority. If you're easily disposable to them, they don't love you.
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If you feel easily disposable in a relationship, it's a sign that the love may not be as authentic as it should be. A healthy relationship is one where both partners recognize the significance of each other and make a conscious effort to prioritize and nurture the connection.

They big themselves up on social media

Fake love likely comes from fake people in general - people who like to act different depending who they're talking to, or pretend their life is a certain way. Social media is the perfect tool to give an illusion about what your life is. This person might use social media to feed their ego!
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It can often be a platform where people curate and project an idealized version of their lives, creating an illusion that may not align with reality. For some, it's a way to feed their ego, seeking validation and admiration from others through the images and stories they share.

And they post everything about your relationship on there

Another thing they likely do too is post about your relationship a lot on there - this is to give the illusion you're madly in love when you're not. They have to fake it for social media, after all. So they might pressure you into posting photos of gifts they buy you, or trips they take you on.
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In genuine love, the emphasis should be on the quality of the connection and the emotional depth shared between partners, rather than the external appearances and validations from others. A loving relationship is a personal journey, not a public spectacle.

You don't plan for the future

Anybody in a serious relationship and in love is going to plan for the future - because they want a future with that person. You might have noticed that no plans have been made and that you even feel like there isn't a future deep down in the pit of your stomach!
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If you find that no plans have been made and the prospect of a shared future is absent in your relationship, it can be a disconcerting and telling sign. A genuine love story should be filled with dreams, aspirations, and the excitement of building a life together.

And they avoid any conversation about it

Not only do you not plan for the future, but talking about it is completely impossible. If you tried to raise the subject, they'd just wriggle out of it. You can still love someone and be a commitment-phobe, but the problem is if they 'fake' all this happiness and love only to say 'uh no' when it comes to the future.
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It's crucial to address this issue with your partner and have a candid conversation about the future of your relationship. Love should involve an openness to discussing your shared dreams and goals, even if that includes addressing any commitment-phobic tendencies.

You don't argue

Arguing is actually healthy for a relationship, and it means you love each other because you care enough to get angry or worked up about something. You need to argue to get it all out and move out. So if you don't argue, it can be a sign it's because you just don't care enough.
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The key is to ensure that when conflicts do arise, they are handled with respect, empathy, and a shared goal of resolution. Love should be the driving force behind the desire to understand each other better and create a stronger, more harmonious connection.

And it's likely because you don't communicate about anything, either

You can't have arguments if you don't communicate about your wants and needs either. Arguments can arise when you feel things are lacking. If you don't communicate, nothing is going to come up, and if you don't even want to communicate, you likely don't love each other anyway.
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The absence of communication, or even an aversion to it, can indeed be a red flag suggesting that the depth of love and care in the relationship may be insufficient. Love thrives on understanding, shared conversations, and mutual respect and is essential to making it work.

You're indifferent about everything

Indifference comes next after not caring enough to argue and not wanting to communicate. Being indifferent doesn't equal true love - you can't be indifferent about something you're supposed to care so much about! It's a big sign of fake love you need to watch out for!
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In a genuine and loving relationship, there should be a strong emotional connection, passion, and a deep investment in each other's well-being. Indifference suggests a lack of emotional engagement and caring, which is in stark contrast to what love should be.

You don't really know who their friends and family are

People in love will want to share their special person with the other people they love in their life: friends and family. There comes an inevitable point when you'll meet the important people in your partner's life. If this never happens, this 'love' is actually just pretend.
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Meeting and connecting with each other's friends and family is a sign of a commitment to the relationship's long-term growth and a willingness to create shared experiences with loved ones. It reflects an intention to integrate your lives and build a future together.

'Boredom' is the general vibe

Sure, couples hit rough patches where everything can feel a bit stale even if you love each other. But if you're combining boredom with everything else on this list, it can't really be called true love. You shouldn't even feel bored with the person you're madly in love with!
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In the grand narrative of love, the chapters should be filled with shared experiences, laughter, and moments of connection, not with pervasive boredom. True love has the power to infuse even the most routine days with a sense of fulfillment and contentment.