Top 10 Psychological Flirting Strategies Used By All Men
By molly atherton
1 year ago
Have you ever wondered about the undercover operations in the flirting world? We are going to spill the beans on the psychological flirting playbook of men. Starting with the sly smiles to clever banter, we're decoding the charm offensive. So, buckle up for a witty ride into the intriguing strategies that men use to turn heads and spark those connections. Unveil the secrets and you might just find yourself saying, "Ah, so that's how they do it!"
1. Eye Contact
Let's kick start with a well known strategy, eye contact! You may not want to be met with a staring contest, but men may hold eye contact for up to four and a half seconds! Less flirtatious staring may only last up to three seconds. Be careful about long stares because ....
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Although long stares can confirm interest, they can also come across as being a little bit creepy and unnerving if held for too long in your opinion! However, If you're lucky enough to see their pupils dilate, this means widen, then they might be really into you too!
Original content sourced from Femanin.com2. Smiling... Good or Bad?
Eye contact is a great way to flirt, but smiling is a lot easier to do and a lot less intense! In fact, smiling can make you more attractive and is understood by both men and women worldwide as a way of expressing positive emotion. Fear not if a man is brooding, or looking serious.
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Men also use this psychological flirting method to give off a bad boy or rebellious charm, which can be more appealing to women! It's crucial to interpret signals within the broader context of the situation and individual personalities to avoid misreading intentions.
3. Letting You In On Secrets!
In an intimate setting, men will share secrets to show vulnerability and open up about their personal life. This can lead to the person on the receiving end sharing too, leading to feelings of trust. It may not just be personal information, they may even reveal gossip or information that seems sensitive to win you over!
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So next time you hear a man telling you about his mom's secret cake recipe, think twice! This sharing of secrets in an intimate context serves as a pathway to mutual trust and discloses a level of transparency that should almost certainly be seen as a possibility to go further than flirting!
4. Wear Red
Okay this one may sound a little confusing... not all men will know they are using this strategy, but subconsciously or consciously it works! Wearing red for both men or women can help display sexual attractiveness over wearing any other color of clothing. Evolution is to blame for this! Throughout society, the color red is associated with romance and sex!
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The bold and vibrant nature of red clothing acts as a visual signal, triggering primal associations that contribute to heightened allure. So, next time you find yourself drawn to that red ensemble, know that it might be more than just a fashion choice.5. Demonstrating Self Worth
Men will want to sell themselves by demonstrating what they can bring to the table. However, men that know when to walk away from a relationship or dates when someone isn't showing interest will be seen as more attractive. Women value self-respect in both themselves and men. Males may have started to work out that coming across as desperate or obsessive isn't the way to go!
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In the dating game, men used to focus on impressing and proving what they bring to a relationship. Now, being attractive involves knowing when to walk away if the other person isn't interested. Women appreciate men who value self-respect, and guys are catching on that seeming desperate or overly fixated is a turn-off.
6. Breaking The Contact Barrier
If done in the right way, gently touching someone in a non-sexual way can help break the 'contact barrier'. Some studies have shown that women in nightclubs are more likely to comply or show interest in a man's desire when it is accompanied by a friendly touch. You may be thinking that this isn't psychological? Well, breaking the touch barrier can make the recipient feel safer and more trusting!
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Surprisingly, psychological, studies reveal that women in nightclubs tend to respond positively when a man's interest is accompanied by a friendly touch. This non-sexual contact is not just about proximity; it communicates safety and builds trust.
7. Asking For Small Favors
Men won't be asking you to go and mow their lawn or clean their house when they use this flirting strategy, but they may ask for something simple. It could be something as simple as passing salt & pepper across the table. Once you perform one task for someone, you are more likely to do something slightly bigger for them next time as you believe you like them for carrying out the first task.
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This is called the Benjamin Franklin effect, a subtle technique that more experienced flirts may use. These flirts navigate this effect adeptly, gradually building a rapport and paving the way for more significant gestures, all while maintaining an atmosphere of subtle charm
8. Laughter!
There is a reason why comedians are successful in their careers and their romantic life! Several studies have shown that interpersonal attraction and humour are closely linked. According to theoretical psychology, women use laughter as a sign of submissive behaviour..
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Therefore, laughing is an admittance of interest to the person they are laughing with. So it may just be one of the best flirting techniques out there! A genuine and hearty laugh can signal authenticity and likeability, making the person more approachable and attractive.
9. Having Similar Interests
Much like having the same humour, having similar interests or hobbies can spark attraction. Men will therefore speak in greater detail about things they know they may have in common with you. This could be sports, music or even family members. Although this flirting strategy may work at the start, it is important to not over exaggerate too much.
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You don't want to be pretending that you're into gardening just because you thought you'd like a common interest on the first date! Men use shared interests as a smart flirting move. When you both like the same things, it creates a connection and makes conversation easier. Having common hobbies or passions shows compatibility and helps build a bond.
10. Playing Hard To Get
Now, we aren't encouraging anyone to get lots of tattoos and pretend to be a bad boy. However, being mysterious and occasionally unavailable is a technique used by both men and women to leave the other wanting more. This could involve anything from replying to texts a few hours after receiving them to turning down dates until they're at a time you prefer.
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Then again, don't over do it as it may end up in your potential partner thinking that you aren't interested at all! The idea is to make the pursuit more exciting but it's important to keep it playful and respectful, finding the right balance so it doesn't cause confusion or frustration.
11. Does Asking Questions Work?
No one wants to be sat a date, waiting to speak for the first time in five minutes. Men will ask women lots of questions to help build openness and closeness with a potential partner. Not asking any questions can also come across as arrogant and self involved, traits that most women won't find attractive.
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It's important to remember what they say though! Repeating questions is the best way for a man to undo all their hard work. So, if you find a man asking you lots of questions, it's likely he's flirting and eager to connect on a deeper level so give him a chance!
12. Mirroring
This doesn't mean putting more mirrors in your house for men to attract women! Mirroring or the Gauchais reaction involves mirroring behaviour, body language or verbal qualities. It is usually a subconscious flirting method used by men to help demonstrate good communication skills.
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It can also help show your interest and common attributes, something that women truly appreciate being reciprocated. This does not mean they have to do everything at the same, so don't worry if they don't have the same timing as Beyonce's backup dancers!
13. Showing Their Passion
We've all been there, sat listening to someone drone on about a topic you couldn't care less about. Being passionate about things you talk about makes them seem more interesting straight away. Men will talk in different pitch and tone in their voice to demonstrate their passion.
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Doing so is considered to be an attractive quality. Passion in certain topics may also demonstrate how passionate they can be elsewhere too... The passion they exhibit is not just about the hobby; it's a subtle way of showing that they want to share meaningful aspects of their life with you.
14. Posture
When men are flirting successfully , they tend do have good posture while doing so. Slouching or the folding of arms can accidentally insinuate that you are mentally or physically closed off from the conversation. So if a man is sat up straight, with hips upper chest leant over towards you, you may have a flirt on your hands!
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Although body language is physical, the psychological effect on the recipient can make them feel appreciated and trusted. When a man maintains upright and confident posture while speaking to you, it often indicates that he's making an effort to present himself in the best light. Good posture is associated with self-assuredness and attentiveness.
15. Hot Or Cold Drinks?
Have you ever been out on a date and let them surprise you with some food or drink? If they're aware of the psychology, men will buy you a hot drink over a cold drink! This can help them build a better image of themselves as hot drinks tend to show kindness and generosity according to some papers
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They even reported that you're more likely to carry out an act of kindness if you're holding something warm! The choice of a warm beverage suggests a desire to create a cozy and intimate atmosphere. It may be a thoughtful gesture aimed at ensuring you feel comfortable and cared for.
16. Tilting Your Head
We have already discovered that leaning towards your romantic interest shows intent. In addition to this, direction of a man's head tilt may give something away too. If a man is tilting his head to the side, it shows interest and reassures the speaker of this.
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On the other hand, if he is tilting his head directly towards you, this may signal signs of distrust! Try not to think of a puppy asking for a walk next time you see a man tilting his head though! Tilting his head and sustained eye contact is likely to be a great sign!
17. Confidence Is Key
When it comes to flirting, confidence is seen by both men and women as more important than physical appearance. When women see a confident man, it can bring out more confidence in themselves. This confidence can also inspire security and therefore willing to take risk with or for the man.
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Even though confidence is key, over doing it can lead to people having thoughts of arrogance, it's a thin tightrope! Confident body language, a steady tone of voice, and the ability to maintain eye contact contribute to a strong flirting game. It's about expressing genuine interest without appearing overly anxious or insecure.
18. Compliments
It may seem like one of the most obvious ways to flirt, but compliments may be more difficult for men than some of the other strategies used. Most men will compliment but the best flirts will pick out something that stands out to them, then comment on their appreciation for it. Thoughtful compliments like this will make you feel special and go a long way!
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Not all compliments are created equal. While many men give compliments, the skilled flirts stand out by noticing something unique and expressing genuine appreciation. These thoughtful compliments make you feel special and have a lasting impact on the recipient.
19. Deeper Conversation
Compliments, body language and eye contact can all be very flirtatious, but what happens when you get past the initial stages of meeting someone? Men will start opening up about things you can both talk about, such as views on current goings on in the world will encourage more openness and honesty.
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Men will also circle back to what you may have previously said to make you feel appreciated and listened to. This shows he wants to connect on a deeper level and genuinely cares about what you think and feel. It's a way of saying, "I'm interested in you beyond the surface."
20. Teasing
Teasing or light hearted flirty banter is a great way of combining compliments, humour and playing hard to get. Men will tease to build trust and also help relax potentially awkward situations. Flirty banter shows that a man is willing to drop his barriers and opens women up to doing the same.
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As long as they don't bring up sensitive topics, it's fun for both people. When a guy teases you in a playful way, it's often a sign he's flirting. Teasing adds a fun and affectionate vibe to the interaction, showing he's interested and wants to create a light hearted connection.
21. Use Of Your Name
We've all been there, you're at a party or gathering and someone you have met before completely forgets your name and you feel slightly knocked and irrelevant. That is why using someone's name in casual conversation can make them feel included and recognised.
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It is important that men don't repeat your name too much though, otherwise it feels too deliberate and like they are trying not to forget your name! It's a way of making the interaction feel more individualized and can be an indicator of his interest in building a closer connection with you.
22. Offering Help Or Support
Men will often offer with carrying bags or going out of their way to help out when they are being flirtatious. It shows they are willing to dedicate time and effort for the person they are interested in, demonstrating kindness and consideration. Lots of small acts can build up into one great image!
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Of course you have to be careful, there is a line where you cannot insult someone's independence! But it's always nice to have someone chip in every once in a while! It's a subtle way of saying, "I'm here for you" and can foster a sense of connection and trust.
23. Praise
Compliments don't have to be as simple as what they look like or something you're wearing. Men will compliment parts of your personality or intelligence to show that they value more than just superficial things. For example "Wow, I didn't think of that, you have such an interesting perspective", would show value without sounding condescending.
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It's a way of highlighting your positive qualities and making you feel special. Praise can range from compliments on your appearance to acknowledging your skills or personality traits. By vocalizing his admiration, the man is indicating romantic or flirtatious interest.
24. Create Inside Jokes
Inside jokes are typically between two people that are close. Some men may bring up times when it was just the two of you in front of other people to demonstrate the closeness of your nature. If they use them at the right time, they can create a knock on of funny moments. It's good to have those funny moments to bring more chuckles out later on!
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These inside jokes often develop as a result of shared experiences or a specific rapport, indicating that the man is not only comfortable around you but also enjoys creating a special and playful bond. It's a subtle but effective way of signaling mutual affection and a connection that goes beyond surface-level interactions.
25. The Peak-End Rule
Have you ever been sat after watching "America's Got Talent" and tried to remember some of the singers? Usually people remember an act right in the middle or the last one. Men will use the peak-end rule in a similar way. Making a good finishing impression will leave dates thinking that they had a good time, potentially altering what they might have thought up until that point too!
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Leaving a positive last impression can reshape the overall experience. Just as the last performer sticks in your mind, a man aims to make the end of a date memorable for a lasting positive impact. Crafting a great final moment ensures that the date is remembered as a great experience.
26. Establishing Trust
Being able to rely on someone is a quality we look for in friends, family and partners. Men will look to carry out small tasks and to reinforce the idea that they are reliable in other parts of life too. Proving that they can follow through with commitment will suggests they will do the same romantically.
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Men often showcase reliability in various aspects of life, not just in relationships. By completing small tasks, they convey a sense of dependability. This reliability extends beyond romantic interests, indicating a broader commitment to follow through on promises.
27. Social Proof
When an celebrity posts a picture of a product or item of clothing they like, you best know that there will be millions of people out there wanting to or buying it too. This is an example of social proof. Men will do something similar when flirting, this might look like surrounding themselves with friends or playing darts or pool to encourage potential partners to come and join in.
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In the dating world, men often use a concept similar to social proof. By engaging in activities surrounded by friends or playing games like darts or pool, they create an inviting atmosphere. This encourages potential partners to join in, showcasing that others enjoy their company.
28. The Halo Effect
A lot of people like to focus on the good qualities of other people and try to dismiss other less desirable qualities. The halo effect is similar, when men speak about certain qualities about themselves, they will focus on something that is relatable and appealing. An example of this may be attractiveness, have you ever seen someone so beautiful that you started thinking that they couldn't possibly be a bad person?
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When men use the halo effect in flirting, they emphasize attractive qualities about themselves. It's like thinking someone really beautiful must be good overall. By focusing on appealing aspects, they try to create a positive impression and make a good impact.
29. Being A Bystander
There are definitely some situations where intimate conversations are inappropriate, like in a queue to the bathroom. However, there is a good chance men will try and take you off for sneaky one to one conversations. Doing so can encourage more intimate chats that will help create trust and openness, which are difficult to achieve in large group situations.
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This helps build a stronger emotional connection and lays the groundwork for deeper, more meaningful relationships. So, when possible, these private talks become a way for men to connect more genuinely. It's like having a secret space for more personal discussions, going beyond the surface.30. Be Yourself
People are very good at seeing through lies and deceit, especially when you spend more and more time with them. This is why the best technique for men to flirt is by being themselves, showing sincerity and their true personality is much more attractive to women than pretending to be someone they're not.
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Pretending to be someone else might initially create an illusion, but it's unsustainable in the long run. Women appreciate men who are true to themselves, as it establishes a foundation of trust and mutual understanding. By embracing their true personality, men will attract genuine interest.
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