Top Tips To Deal With A Lazy Husband
By Lynsey
1 year ago
Empower them to make their own decisions
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If you're one of those wives who likes to care for and look after your husband, you may find they soon start to slip in to lazy habits. Not that there's anything wrong with caring for your husband but just make sure you're giving them the time and space they need to make their own decisions.Give up your assumptions
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We all have an idea as to how we want our relationship to be and how we want to be treated by our significant other. The only problem with this is that they are your assumptions and often your husband has no idea what you are expecting him to do - leaving you frustrated and him feeling like he's constantly failing.Treat the problem with creativity
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Sometimes talking issues through will only make your husband feel nagged at so, to combat his laziness, you'll need to think outside of the box and get creative. This could mean, ignoring the laziness and leaving subtle hints around or deciding to take them out and spoil them to a date night with the hope of rekindling some romance which might spur them on to make effort... it's worth a try!Observe them
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One of the best ways to deal with a lazy husband is to simply observe them. Watching them as they go about their day will show you whether they are making a conscious effort to be lazy or whether they simply aren't thinking and instead it's unintentional. This will then give you an idea as to how to approach the subject with them.Give them space
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As human beings, we all need space to find our feet and flourish. If you've told your husband what you need from him and your expectations, it might be time to give them the space to try to correct their ways. Often your husband can be stubborn if you're lingering over him, watching his every move.Build on patterns of what worked in the past
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If you've tried and tasted many strategies to try snap your husband out of his laziness, it might be worth taking note of the ones which had the most positive impact and use these to build your next steps going forward. There's no point pushing and pushing if you're getting nowhere so it might be time to rethink your strategy!Help them see their strengths
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Everyone excels when they feel like they are doing well and that they are good at certain things. Boosting your husband's morale and celebrating his strengths will not only reignite your love for one another, but it will also bring them out of their comfort zone and encourage them to do more to make you happy.Tell them how you feel
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When you're dealing with a lazy husband, it's important to establish means in which to have an open and honest conversation. You should be able to explain to them how you are feeling without adding blame or displaying anger and they should be open to listening and taking on board what you have to say.Listen to them
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Feeling listened to makes us feel valued. Your husband needs to feel valued in your relationship in order to bring out the best in them. Maybe take some time to simply sit and listen to them... you might discover that they have a lot on their plate too and are simply feeling overwhelmed rather than actively being lazy.Divide chores
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Chores are the number one cause of relationship breakups as often one person in the relationship feels they are doing more than the other person. This can lead to resentment if not dealt with. So, try dividing up those chores and having set jobs for each of you - that way you'll both feel accomplished by the end of the day and less overstretched.Be kind and considerate
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One of the best ways to deal with your husband's laziness is to be kind to them. Considering their thoughts and feelings and being aware of how they are feeling is crucial in building that trust in your relationship to then offer critiques without hurting your husbands feelings.Praise and appreciate them
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To your husband, the smallest job in the world might seem like the largest to him. There's nothing worse than him trying to help out in his own little way, only for you to come home and moan at him for the things he hasn't done. In these moments, pause and celebrate the little things he is doing for you as the feel-good feeling of being praised will make him want to do more for you.Avoid naturally picking up after them
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It can be easier to think 'I can do it quicker or better myself' and so you find yourself picking up after your husband when he should be doing it himself. If this sounds familiar, it's time to step back and give your husband the chance to pick up after himself or he will naturally become complacent.Be patient
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If there's ever a time to practice your patients, dealing with a lazy husband is it. Asking them to do something for you or to help out when they aren't used to doing that takes time and he won't get any better if you keep jumping on it to 'just do it yourself'. Sit back, relax and let him have a go!Lower your expectations
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A key personal skill for you to develop when your husband is being lazy, is the art of self-reflection. Self-reflecting in these moments will allow you to identify whether your expectations of your husband are too simply high or whether your husband is instead choosing to not meet you halfway.Show them they are your hero
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Everyone in a relationship needs to feel special and like they are needed - husbands are no different. If you want your lazy husband to step up his game, you might need to consider stepping up your affection and praise. They need to feel like your hero, the one you cannot live without and you'll soon find that they start to make more effort.Let go of the attitude
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We can all be guilty of getting ourselves in to a negative mindset regarding our husbands and their ability to be lazy in the home. Once you're in that frame of mind, you can find yourself with a lot of negative attitude which your husband will pick up on - this won't make him want to help you so consider letting this attitude go.Kill them with kindness and positivity
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Everyone loves feeling valued and having their hard work appreciated. So, the next time he's trying to help (even if its all going wrong and it means you'll have to redo it anyway...) praise him with words or a gift to motivate him to keep doing what he's doing as it gets him treats.Compromise
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Compromise is a key factor in any relationship. You have decided to share your life with someone and that requires sacrifices on both sides. Your husband might be being lazy as he feels the loads in the household are unfair or that his needs aren't being met. Consider offering ways to compromise further to see if that makes a difference.Set goals together
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If your husband is being lazy and you feel like you're on separate paths, with different goals, it might be time to regroup as a couple. Sitting down and setting goals together and be all that it takes to rediscover that you're a team and your goals are achievable if steps to get there are shared.Ask for help
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There's no harm in seeking additional help if you're finding his laziness is impacting your relationship but more importantly, your husbands quality of life. Often there can be a stigma surrounding marital counselling or therapy session but they can actually be pivotal in navigating life together.Negotiate with them
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Negotiations within a relationship show that each of you value the other person and that you are both seen as equal partners. Collaborating in this way requires you to share the responsibilities in life, meaning your husband may be more inclined to help you as you aren't simply just stating they aren't good enough and laying blame with them.Stop the deadlines
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In our minds, we have deadlines which we try to abide by. These could be the time you insist on having dinner ready by or certain particulars you insist on leading your life by. All of which will create unnecessary stress and anxiety, especially if you require your husband to be a certain way in order for you to achieve them. Relax and you'll find that you are less irritated by your husbands ways.Be firm and assertive
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No-one wants to be the carpet in the relationship. It's important to be firm and assertive to express your needs if you feel they are not being met. If you think your husband isn't pulling his weight, it's about talking to him in a way that lays down your realistic expectations in a calm and thought out manner.Don't interfere
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Women are naturally more caring and motherly than their partners may be. This means that you can adopt the motherly role towards your husband too and suddenly find yourself picking up after him too. It can work in your favour much more if you take a step back and learn not to interfere - they are capable humans you know!Try not to compare
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It can be difficult not to compare your husband to other husbands out there when all your friends talk about is how helpful and thoughtful their husbands are. This said, setting those expectations will only lead to disappointment so rather accept the imperfections of your partner and try loving them for who they are.Be a friend, not a taskmaster
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Marriage is all about teamwork, tackling life together and being there to support one another. When your husband is acting lazy, it's time to reframe jobs and chores as a shared load rather than focusing on burdening yourself or him with an unachievable list - that will only lead to disappointment.Give them a chance
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Try to avoid nagging your husband when you've asked them to do something for you and they haven't. Often the timeframes we set ourselves are hard for others to meet as we're all individuals. Remember he's trying and if it's not quite done right or they way you'd like it, that doesn't matter.Try some bonding activities
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Spending some quality time together can really deeper the bond between you and your husband. Often life gets in the way and you may find yourself at each-others throat a lot. If so, take some time out, just the two of you to rekindle your relationship. You're more likely to explain to your husband your expectations if he's on side.Take some time out for yourself
