30 Things All Men Do On Holiday

By Jessica O'Neil 8 months ago

Find the nearest gym

Image Source: Reddit
Even vacation can’t stop your man from getting in a killer workout. You’ll likely find them roaming the resort or hotel trying to find a set of weights or a medicine ball to toss around. In the meantime, you can spread out by the pool and catch some sun while he sweats away in a basement somewhere close by.

Gravitate to the largest body of water they can find

Image Source: Reddit
Men are like fish, they seem to love swimming when on vacation, even in cold climates. If swimming can’t be achieved, then soaking is a must. This means greeting the nearest plunge pool or hot tub with open arms. It is likely, though, that your man will lament if your vacation isn’t on a lake or by a beach.

Eat the most expensive dish on the dinner menu

Image Source: Reddit
A dry-aged steak? A massive pork chop? Twin two-pound lobsters? A man on holiday will say yes to it all. Men see this as a time to splurge and eat all the meals they’ve been politely refraining from enjoying back home. Expect the dinner bill to be massive every time. It’s in your best interest to “forget” your wallet occasionally when dining with your beau if you tend to go Dutch.

Forget important toiletries

Image Source: Reddit
Men don’t check their luggage a million times before heading to the airport like women do. This means that, upon arriving at your destination, they’ll probably be missing their deodorant, toothbrush, or vital medications. If your man is headed out on a boys’ trip without you, do him a favor and stuff a few essentials in his carry-on just in case.

Bring way fewer outfits than you

Image Source: Reddit
Why must they have a total of three complete outfits for a week-long vacation? Don’t worry though, at least they’ve brought ten pairs of boxers and their PS5, along with several different games to choose from. Men will absolutely need to buy a shirt or two from one of the local shops when they run out in the middle of the week on vacation.

Text their group chat nonstop

Image Source: Reddit
A bae-cation will never come between your man and the boys. He will definitely be texting them every detail of the trip, along with several unflattering photos of you guys that he thinks are absolutely amazing. This is because he has a teensy-weensy bit of FOMO, even though his friends are likely doing nothing anyway.

Check sports stats and games

No, a single touchdown isn’t more important than spending time with you, so he won’t ditch you the entire day to watch the game. But, he will peek at his phone during dinner to check the score, and he will definitely place a few heavy-handed bets in favor of his hometown team.

Are lackadaisical about planning

Image Source: Reddit
How is he getting to the airport? What activities did he plan for the trip? Where is his layover flight? Only God knows. Men tend to fly by the seat of their pants and make vacation plans on a whim, so don’t expect to know the full itinerary before he departs. Actually, don’t count on knowing any of the finer details until after he gets home.

Fall asleep the minute they arrive at the hotel

Image Source: Reddit
Jet lag can hit hard, but for men, it can hit during a 3-hour car ride. As soon as you reach the hotel room, they will immediately knock out until dinner time. You may even be lucky if they wake up in time for the reservation. Set an alarm and, if worse comes to worse, splash him with some cold water to awaken his senses.

Binge drink

Image Source: Reddit
Oh yeah, this is a common one. On vacation, a man lets his inhibitions fall to the wayside. One drink turns into two, which then turns into eight, Before you know it, they’re confessing their love for you sweaty and shirtless, and forcing you to half-carry him back to the room for some much-needed rest. Expect him to test the limits of your all-inclusive beverage package.

Make a vacation friend

Image Source: Reddit
A man on holiday is the friendliest man in the universe. You can count on him making a new bestie or two while on vacation, even though the relationship may never leave the resort. If he’s on holiday with the boys, they’ll make this newcomer feel right at home, memorializing him in a singular group polaroid that will be posted by every group member to Instagram.

Befriend the wildlife

Image Source: Reddit
Why is it that a dog, cat, or even monkey always finds their way into the lap of your man? He is a kid at heart, and maybe animals sense his kind temperament and trust his intentions. Either way, your man will probably beg you to adopt every stray he comes across while on vacation.

Pack at the last minute

Image Source: Reddit
The suitcase will not come out of the closet until the evening before the big trip. It even still has a few remnants of the last vacation he used it for. Thankfully, it won’t take him long to compile all his favorite outfits, and his beauty products only consist of a minuscule bottle of soap and lotion he nabbed from a hotel a few months back. Oh, to be so free!

Misplace their passport or ID

Image Source: Reddit
Where is it? It’s got to be in the bedside table drawer, or it could be stashed away in the closet. Maybe he left it at the bar a couple of nights ago? Either way, you can count on a man to frantically search for his wallet, ID, or passport right before departing for the airport. Consider hiding it in a safe spot for him so he can’t pick it up and put it down in a highly random place, where it would be impossible to find.

Wear matching outfits with their bros

Image Source: Reddit
Men are just like women in the way that good times make them sappy, goofy, and sentimental. A night out with his boys on vacation means matching Hawaiian shirts and leis to match. They will even be sure to wear the exact same boat shoes so nobody feels left out of the mix. You’ll be anxiously waiting for the pics to giggle at the entire time he’s away.

Text their partners questions the entire trip

Image Source: Reddit
What are his allergies? Where is a good place to hike? How do you say “Where is the airport” in Spanish? Don’t expect to have a week free of inane questions he could easily Google himself. Your partner trusts you and your knowledge, so he’ll always reach out to you first to soothe any worries or concerns while he’s away.

Call their mom

Image Source: Reddit
She demanded updates from him throughout the trip, and he was more than happy to oblige. Men will FaceTime their moms for any reason while at home, but they’ll definitely reach out to her a bunch to show her things like their gnarly sunburn or the parrot perched on their shoulder. She’ll love it, and you can relax knowing you’re not the only one getting bombarded with calls and questions.

Partake in a thrilling activity

Image Source: Reddit
Ziplining, parasailing, cliff jumping, swimming with the sharks, you name it. Men are always on the hunt for the next big thrill, and vacation is the perfect time for them to get a taste of adrenaline. Be prepared to go sky diving, snorkeling, and basically anything you’d never do while at home when joining them on a trip.

Lose something they came with

Image Source: Reddit
Phones will disappear, their favorite headphones will run away screaming, and they’ll definitely be returning home with a shirt or pair of pants short. AirTags are the best investment men can make when preparing to go overseas, especially because lost luggage is becoming more and more common with airlines nowadays.

Get a beer at the airport

Image Source: Reddit
Why wait for the plane or the resort when you can purchase the most overpriced beer of your life as you wait for your Delta flight? There’s something about being able to have a frosty drink at seven a.m. that makes dudes absolutely feral. You’ll be spending the two hours before your flight downing a cold one and regretting it once you see the tab.

Rent a snazzy vehicle

Image Source: Reddit
A convertible or sick sports car is the hallmark of a man’s vacation. They’ll post videos of themselves cruising through palm tree-lined streets behind the wheel of a sick Ferrari or Camaro, pretending this is something they’re used to driving. Though you know better, it’s better to let them live the facade while they have the chance.

Get hungover

Image Source: Reddit
After drinking the day and night away, your man will be begging you for an ibuprofen and a Gatorade. A hangover is a necessary evil if you’d like to spend your vacation endlessly wining and dining (but mostly wining) with little to no drinking water involved for 6 days straight. The plane ride home is always the place where the vacation hangover peaks too, so prepare the vomit bags as soon as you sit.

Flirt with the locals

Image Source: Reddit
Single men get tired of the same old scene, which is what makes the people they meet on vacation so irresistible. Maybe it’s the island breeze, or it could be the bottomless drinks going to their head. Regardless, they’ll make a move on one or two of the locals to get a better idea of what the area really has to offer.

Always making every day count

Image Source: Reddit
Activities, activities, activities. For men, vacation is a nonstop quest for the most fun you’ve ever had in your life. You’ll be on the go each and every day, from sun up to sun down. When men visit a new place, they make sure to take in as much of the scene as possible before trudging back to reality a few days later.

Spend plenty of time outdoors

Image Source: Reddit
You’ll rarely see the inside of a hotel room when vacationing with a man. They are always on the go, anxious to milk the trip for everything it is worth. Even if you insist on a day lounging on the beach, he’ll want to spend the entire day there, not just a few hours. Pack a sun hat, you’ll definitely need it.

Forget the sunscreen

Image Source: Reddit
Why are some men just convinced they’re stronger than the sun? When vacationing on an island, it is so common to witness handfuls of men with beet-red necks and furious headaches from sun poisoning. The message is clear guys: wear sunscreen, or risk your entire trip being ruined by lobster skin and painful peeling.

Discreetly check their email

Image Source: Reddit
Business can never be left at the workplace. Vacation is a time to relax, but duty calls regardless. When on vacay with your man, more often than not you’ll catch him hastily typing an email and responding to several inquiries before he cools it enough to put the phone away and remain in the moment with you.

Spend way too much money

Image Source: Reddit
Splurging isn’t just for the ladies. Men tend to spend a lot on food and beverages when out on vacation, whereas women will burn through cash by purchasing clothes, purses, and other accessories. Don’t be alarmed by a $400 charge at a local bar in Washington state. That was just the warm-up.

Bring two pairs of shoes max

Image Source: Reddit
Any outfit they bring along can be completed by either a pair of sneakers or loafers. There will absolutely be no in-between. Sometimes the loafers won’t even make it to the trip. They’ll leave with the pair of shoes they have on and hope for the best most of the time.

Miss you the entire time

Image Source: Reddit
As a man’s partner, you are their whole life. All they want to do is be around you, even when they are living it up on an island somewhere with their friends and family. Even though they may not text you back as quickly as you’d like, rest assured they are thinking about you every minute they are away.