30 Signs Of A Jealous Sibling

By Lynsey 8 months ago

They're manipulative

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It can be hard to spot whether your sibling is manipulating you when you're in the thick of it. However, a jealous sibling will do things like: borrow money from you and make you feel bad if you say no, and ask you to do things for them, making you feel guilty if you can't.

They're overly critical

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Constructive criticism, when coming from a place of love, is healthy and normally intended to support you. However, a sibling who makes you feel bad about yourself and your achievements is a sibling who is jealous of you. They will be deflecting their own insecurities onto you in an overly judgemental way.

They blame others

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If your sibling struggles to take responsibility for their actions and is constantly blaming others for their problems, it's a red flag! Often they will see no wrong doing in their actions and have the mentality that everyone else is wrong and that life is simply unfair towards them.

They never show remorse

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A healthy relationship with your sibling should come with an open line of communication, meaning that if either of you is in the wrong, you apologise. A sibling who is jealous of you will really struggle to say sorry and have remorse for their actions, often believing they've done nothing wrong so they have nothing to apologise for.

You're always exhausted around them

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If after every conversation or phonemail with your sibling leaves you feel exhausted, it's a sign that they may be quite toxic. A jealous sibling will zap the energy, good mood or even your confidence from you, leaving you feeling down post conversation and depleted of energy.

They betray your confidence

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A sibling should be like a walking, talking journal, that you can share everything and anything with. They normally know you more than anyone else does and the secrets you have together are precious. If however, they weaponize your secrets, they are displaying unhealthy behaviours as your secrets should not be for sale for their personal gain.

They undermine your relationships

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A jealous sibling will have a trend of ruining your relationships. It may initially seem like a coincidence that when involving your sibling, your other relationships fall but apart but it's not! They could be telling your parents the unkind thing you said about them when angry or telling your friend you've been spending time with someone else, either way, it's mean-spirited and unfair on you!

They ignore you

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Sometimes signs your sibling is jealous can be quite subtle and only noticeable by you. They may simply be avoiding you or they will treat you like you have nothing to offer their life. In many ways, it can be more hurtful than being overly critical as it can make you overthink what you can do to fix the situation.

They ostracise you

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If your sibling decides to ostracise you, you'll find that they go as far as never acknowledging you. If there is a problem between the two of you, they might discuss it with your parents, another sibling or a friend and they'll shut you out entirely and not talk to you directly.

They baby you

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It's quite normal to be 'babied' by an older sibling as you grow up, however that should ease of and fade as you get older. If it does not, it can be a sign your sibling is jealous of you and they are trying to limit your progress and success in life by continuously announcing how incapable you are and baby-like you are.

They tease you too much

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Every sibling will tease their brothers and sisters and its seen as not a problem. This said, when they are continuously mean to you and call it 'fun' or do it for their own comedy value, they are undermining your emotions and devaluing your feelings for their own enjoyment.

You can't be yourself around them

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It's common to tailor who you are in front of your sibling to show them a side of you that you want them to see. This won't necessarily be who your BFF sees or the version of you your parents see. When your sibling is showing sign of jealousy, you will feel increasingly unable to show them the 'real' you.

They take advantage of you

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A jealous sibling will go out of their way to take advantage of you whenever they can. This can be in the form of knowing you can't say no, so putting you in multiple positions where you can't say no, or telling those around you about your weaknesses to exploit them.

They demand you do things for them

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Siblings who are displaying jealous traits will set expectations of you and rules which they believe you have to abide by. It may be something like they expect you to pay each time you go out and do something with them or that you shouldn't be successful in life because that's unfair on them.

They're hypocritical

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In the eyes of a jealous sibling, you can do no right because they can do no wrong. They might hold you accountable for something that they let themselves get away with or tell your parents about your behaviour but expect you to let them get away with it. They have double standards and refuse to see any issue with that.

They act out

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When a sibling doesn't get their own way, they normally choose to display inappropriate behaviours to get attention. Siblings who are jealous of you and your achievements will do this if they feel you're getting too much praise and attention. Often they will try to monopolise the conversations and direct the attention to them.

Their emotions are a rollercoaster

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A jealous sibling will appear irrational, like they cannot control their emotions. One minute they may be overly nice, almost fake, and then the next they are screaming in your face and crying hysterical. You can often feel as if you have to walk on eggshells around them as if you don't know which version of themselves you'll encounter.

Everything is a competition to them

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From who can fold their laundry the neatest, to who has the most successful job. A jealous sibling will see everything as a competition which they have to win at all costs. This can come at a detriment to other people's feelings as they narrowly focus on out doing you rather than the damage they cause along the way.

They feel inadequate and have low self esteem

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Often the behaviours a jealous sibling displays are in fact a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves and their life. They struggle to communicate and therefore lash out at those closest to them, preferring to upset their loved ones than admit they are struggling.

They pull away from you and withdraw

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If your sibling starts to pull away and withdraw form you, making is obvious by always saying they're busy or have something on, it's often a sign they are jealous of you. They can find it easier to avoid you and not spend time with you than to see you succeeding and being happy.

They need to be centre of attention

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In every occasion in life, a sibling who is jealous of you will fight to steal the limelight. It could be a birthday celebration, family Christmas or even your graduation and they will make sure that they are centre of attention. If they cannot be, it's common for them to kick off and ruin the occasion for all involved.

They always seek your approval and praise

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A jealous sibling will most likely display similar traits of a narcissist. They need lots of validation, praise and celebrating, fighting to be appreciated daily. They have a need to be admired and often this can make those around you focus on them more than you or your achievements.

They're never happy

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A jealous sibling struggle to find happiness in life. You might find yourself feeling exhausted around them as they draw your energy because they constantly need boosting or encouraging that things aren't as bad as they seem. Often if they see you doing better than them, they will feel like their life is falling apart.

They make you feel guilty

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Making you feel guilty is a common behaviour trait of a jealous sibling. They won't want to see you being happy or succeeding and they will make it known to you and those around you. They will manipulate you and enjoy the act of making you feel bad if you don't do what they say. This form of control is to try ensure you don't succeed above them.

They try to copy everything you do

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A common trait of a jealous sibling is that they try to mimic and copy everything you do. They will see everything you do as a challenge to match and overcome, determined for things in life to be a competition. You may get a partner, then they will and that partner will be better than yours. You may get a car and they'll buy an even better one, and so on and so on...

They constantly pick fights

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Picking constant and unreasonable fights with you, is a sign that your sibling might be jealous of you and your achievements in life. It can be confusing as often it will come out the blue and you may be left wondering where, and why it occurred where nothing you say or do can fix the situation.

They struggle to express how they are feeling

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Alongside narcissistic behaviour traits, a jealous sibling will struggle to articulate how they are feeling which often shows itself in the form of them being unkind to you and making fun of you: a form of deflecting their emotions and insecurities onto you.

They think no-one understands them

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When a jealous sibling struggles to communicate how they are feeling and their frustrations, you will often hear them repeating 'it's not fair, no one understands'. What they mean is that they are angry that they can't articulate themselves clearly enough to correct what is going wrong in their life.

They think life is unfair and out to get them

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Thinking life is unfair and that everything is against them, is a common trait for siblings who are jealous. They will see the world as out to get them if they cannot outdo you, causing them great levels of stress and anxiety as they try to navigate why the world appears to hate them.

They are never there when you need them

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Siblings should be the most important people, who are there to support you throughout life's struggles. They are different to your parents in that you can be fully transparent with them, however a jealous sibling will prefer to ruin that relationship in order to gain material things in life, so you will find that you come second and whenever you actually need them, they are nowhere to be seen.