30 Signs Of A Jealous Mother-In-Law

By Sophie 8 months ago

1. She Excludes You

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It's never nice feeling excluded, and even worse if it's from supposed family members, so if you're left behind by your mother-in-law it is bound to cause rifts between you and your partner. He'll feel like piggy in the middle, you'll feel resentful, and his mother will feel pleased not to have you around.

2. She'll Constantly Tell You How To Look After Her Son

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Like a grown man needs looking after. Jealous M-I-Ls quite often treat their darling sons like their 5 year old boys who can do no wrong. They can't stand no longer being the main woman in their life, and still want him to be taken care of exactly how she did when he was young. This behavior is best to be ignored.

3. Expect Her To Be A Nightmare On Your Wedding Day

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This will be a very hard day for her, as she witnesses her son declare his undying love for another woman. It's likely she'll try and make it all about her somehow, and she'll want to control much of the day. Make sure you have stern words with your husband-to-be before the big day, as it is and should be all about you!

4. You'll Be Under Scrutiny

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She'll never think anything or anyone is good enough for her son, so expect some heavy criticism. Whether she is outright rude or criticizes you in a way where you can't really respond, it's all to put you down and make you feel less worthy. We hope your husband can see this and sticks up for you, otherwise, he's just as bad as her.

5. She'll Judge Your House

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If you care about her opinion, you'll probably find yourself scrubbing endlessly before she visits. Not that it'll make any difference as she'll still find things to pick at. She'll be inspecting all of your corners as she walks around your home, and may even start cleaning! Let her - it saves you a job later.

6. She'll Make Sly Comments

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Despite her envy, your Mother-In-Law will still want to keep her son happy, so she might try to be subtle with her cruelty to you. She's likely to make sly comments to belittle you instead of causing a scene, which is tricky as your husband may read into it differently to you making you feel as though they're in it together!

7. She Will Bring Up The Past

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If anything negative has happened in the past between the two of you, or between you and her son, then don't expect her to forget about it. She will use those scenarios as ammunition for her resentments, so please tell your husband to never, ever, discuss your disagreements with her.

8. She Simply Won't Speak To You

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If your Mother-In-Law is jealous of you then it's likely she just won't speak to you, which makes it very awkward if you're there supposedly in conversation. You may feel like a third wheel if you're with her and your husband; no matter how much you try she just will not address you.

9. Don't Expect Phone Calls

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You might be quite pleased with one actually; it means you don't have to speak to her if you don't have to, and you won't be caught off guard with a phone call. If she does ring, it's usually because she can't get in touch with her son, but she won't create any unnecessary conversation with you if she doesn't have to.

10. She'll Avoid Eye Contact

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If your Mother-In-Law can help it, she will never look you directly in the eye. She will completely dismiss you and won't wish to connect with you in any way, shape or form. So don't be offended when you feel overlooked, it is her problem and not yours.

11. She'll Judge Your Appearance

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Even though your Mother-In-Law would rather not even look at you, she'll do so if it means she can judge you. There'll be weird glances where she looks you up and down and you can just tell her inner monologue is having a field day with negative thoughts. Try not to let this get to you as it has the potential to make you feel self-conscious, which is exactly what she wants.

12. She Speaks Badly About You

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She will do this behind your back to anyone who will listen, so you'll probably only hear about what she's said through the grapevine. Your husband may or may not tell you exactly what she has said, as he won't want to hurt your feelings. He may also desperately try to cling to the idea that the two of you will one day get along.

13. Your Partner Is Constantly Having To Stick Up For You

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He'll find it exhausting, but if your partner cares about you then he will do anything to stick up for you, no matter who it is against. He'll constantly have to fight your corner as he is the only person she will listen to, not that she'll reflect on his words; she'll just hear them.

14. She Will Overlook What You Do

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As you love your partner, you will probably try, try and try again to make an effort with his mother. Besides, she isn't going anywhere. Your efforts will be completely dismissed if she is jealous of you, and she'll never show gratitude for anything that you do. It'll reach a point where you just stop trying.

15. She Want To Be Involved...With Everything

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A jealous Mother-In-Law often acts as he third person in the relationship. She wants to be involved and will have an opinion over everything that you do. She thinks that she knows best and will try and have some control over your relationship, which can be frustrating if your husband listens to her.

16. She Won't Approve Of Your Parenting Style

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If it were up to her, she would raise her grandkids alongside her son, with you cast aside as the surrogate mother. Times have changed from when she was parenting young children, and her mindset will be stuck in that place. She will disapprove of your parenting methods and may confuse your kids with different messages. It may be hard to leave them alone with her!

17. She Won't Attend Things You've Organized

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Unfortunately there are certain people you have to invite to family gatherings, and your husband's mother is one of them. Not that she'll always come; she'll have a hard time not being the organizer, and may throw a fit when she can't handle it. Don't lose sleep over it, it's better she weren't there anyway.

18. She Asks Her Son To Choose

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There'll be times when she will ask your husband to make a choice between you and her. Whether it is in relation to a clash of plans or she asks him to make an ultimatum, she just can't stand the fact that you can exist for him mutually. It may hurt if he chooses her, but try not to get involved in the 'it's either one or the other' battle.

19. She'll Suddenly 'Need Something'

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When you and your husband make plans together, it may be that your Mother-In-Law is jealous at her lack of involvement. She'll all of a sudden need her son for something entirely unrelated, which may mean that your plans are either disrupted or cancelled all together. Your husband will need to be firm, even when she has made up a crisis. The Boy Who Cried Wolf comes to mind!

20. She's Controlling

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Your partner has probably had it all his life, but it's a bit of shock suddenly having someone trying to control every little thing. Your jealous Mother-In-Law will still want to have a hold over him, and that includes you too. You'll both need to stand your ground if you want to live independent lives apart from her, which may be difficult for your husband.

21. She Never Says Thanks

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It doesn't matter what you do or don't do, a jealous Mother-In-Law will never say thank you. She'll never be glad of you, she'll never be pleased for you, and she will never want you to feel good. She'll love the desperation but she won't be grateful. It isn't worth your time or effort.

22. She Will Guilt Trip Her Son

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She will play the victim and make your son feel guilty if she ever feels like their relationship is under threat, which is probably all the time. Even if you involve her more and try to lessen her insecurities, she'll always find a way to manipulate her son and you will see straight through it.

23. She'll Make Him Feel Bad About Your Holidays

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There's nothing she will hate more than the two of you going on holiday, and she will let you know about it. Even if you're only away for the weekend, her leash will feel looser and she won't be able to cope. She'll do anything to make her son feel guilty about 'leaving her behind', just make sure he doesn't invite her...

24. She'll Snoop

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Your jealous Mother-In-Law will be on the lookout for things she can use against you, and she'll gossip her way in. Your husband, neighbors, friends and family may all partake in a seemingly friendly conversation, where she tries to make them reveal things about you that align with her smear-campaign. Again, her problem not yours.

25. She's Cold Towards You

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It's obvious when someone doesn't like you; their talk and mannerisms just can't hide it. If you've done nothing wrong to your husband's mother, then expect this cold shoulder to be about jealousy and nothing more. See if your husband notices, and have him talk to her about it. After all, you have to coexist.

26. You're Always In The Wrong

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No matter what you do, she'll always try to find reasons why you're wrong. It'll feel like a constant battle for her approval, of which doesn't matter anyway. If she's always trying to start fights like this then the best thing to do is disengage; it'll show up what she's doing and disprove her protestations.

27. She Compares You To Ex-Girlfriends

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In her mission to make you feel crap about yourself, she will find ways of dropping in that his exes were better than you are. Take no notice, she'll not genuinely think that as she would've done the same to them too. What matters is that your husband loves you, not that she does.

28. She'll Walk Into Your House Uninvited

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As she thinks she owns your husband, it's likely that your jealous Mother-In-Law will think she has a right to just walk into your house uninvited. She is so enthralled with her son that she completely overlooks your existence, which means she doesn't care that it's your house she is walking into.

29. She's Demanding

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Your M-I-L can be demanding at the best of times, but throw in some jealousy and she will be even more so. She will think that you owe her something for being married to her baby, and so will demand impossible things of you. She doesn't care about your life or commitments which makes her rather selfish!

30. She's Disrespectful

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It's hard to hide when you don't respect somebody, and your Mother-In-Law is no different. She may try in the beginning to put on a show of respect, but the longer you stay married to your husband, her true colors will show. She may outwardly disrespect you or it may be more subtle, just remember that your feelings are valid and your husband should not follow suit.