30 Signs Of A Grieving Widow
By Sophie
9 months ago
1. Isolation
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A tell-tale of someone experiencing grief is if they're isolating themselves. Those who have lost someone close to them, especially if they were used to seeing them daily, may not feel like seeing anybody else. It's important to keep in touch and encourage them out of it, as it can be a very lonely place indeed.2. Denial
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Denial is so common in the stages of grief, as the person grieving struggles to accept that their partner has gone. Being widowed is a really difficult transition, and it may take some time to acknowledge this unwelcome title. A widower just needs time, gentle interaction and a loving ear.3. No Interest In Things They Used To Love
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Losing someone can take all of the joy out of life for a widowed person. Anything they once enjoyed may no longer bring them happiness, even worse if it reminds them of their partner. Perhaps in time the widower will look upon these old past times with fond memories, however as they're grieving, they may be just too painful.4. Lack Of Energy
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As grief saps happiness out of life, so energy follows. All the person's resources are being sucked into feeling sadness, shock, loneliness, and many more complex feelings, all at once. You may find that the person speaks slower, moves more sluggishly and has no life behind their eyes. Ensure they're looked after, as the spark will return one day.5. Distracted
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A widowed person is not able to focus on anything apart from the death of their partner, and how they are feeling. They will seem distracted, which they probably are, and might need prompted if you're trying to talk with them. Allow them to just be, they can't offer anything whilst grieving.6. Avoidant
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Grief makes people avoid things and people that they love. They don't want to have particular conversations and prefer not to see certain people, if any. They'll even avoid eye contact. Gentle encouragement can help them to come around, just don't force anything as it'll push them further away.7. They Refuse To Visit Certain Places
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Missing someone is so painful, especially if you know you're never going to see them again. To be reminded of that is gut-wrenching, so a person grieving may try to evade all triggers and every possibility of them remembering too much. Couples have so many memories of places they've visited together, making those places off limits.8. Anger
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A person grieving is no doubt angry at the world. They're probably asking questions that can't be answered, wondering why they have to go through this and why it was their partner who was taken. It just a stage they have to process and get through; it will pass.9. They Don't Want To Hear About Your Relationship
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People who are grieving their spouse just don't have it in them to be happy for other people. It doesn't mean that they're not, it just means that they miss their significant other so much that they don't want to hear about yours. It's a reminder that their partner isn't around anymore so don't take it personally.10. Stops Watching TV
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Watching TV is a relaxing activity you usually do with your partner whilst you're both chilling at home, and you probably have shows you enjoy together. Suddenly watching those shows without a partner can be the loneliest feeling in the world, so it may feel better not to do it at all.11. Lost Appetite
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Extreme sadness mixed in with loads of other confusing feelings, plays havoc with your physical body. The adrenaline, the lack of self-care, all contribute to a reduced appetite, which is detrimental to the already low level of energy the widower experiences. The best thing to do if a person is grieving is to make them food as they won't want to do it for themselves.12. Tearful
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This may seems obvious, but widowers can often get tearful at the most minor things. Their emotions will be all over the place, which makes them more susceptible to crying. As sad as it is to see someone in tears, it means that the emotion is processing which is really a good thing.13. Poor Sleep
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Someone experiencing grief will probably be having a hard time sleeping at night. Here is where they are alone with their thoughts, which can be really dark for those going through a loss and may keep them awake. On the flip side, they may be sleeping too much due to a complete lack of energy. Either way, neither is beneficial for mental and physical recovery.14. Weight Fluctuation
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As their appetite is irregular, so is their weight. A grieving person barely eating at all is likely to lose a significant amount of weight, however grief makes some people eat their feelings and gain a lot too. One person might go through cycles of flipping from one to the other, and may need support in regulating their eating patterns.15. Hair Loss
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Stress can cause hair loss, so you might notice some thinning or even bald patches in a person grieving a partner. It's best not to point this out as the widower probably already knows, and having people notice is likely to effect their already low self esteem.16. Their Skin Tone Changes
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It might seem a bit strange that a person in grief's skin color changes, but it is actually quite common. People may become more pale as they don't have the energy to look after themselves properly, and you're likely to see dark circles around their eyes from lack of sleep and crying.17. Gets Sick
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If you're not looking after yourself, and you're constantly feeling strong negative emotions, then your immune system suffers. Someone grieving a loved one will get sick more frequently as they can't fight off flu as they did when they were well, just try and keep an eye out so they don't get too sick.18. Lack Of Motivation
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Having motivation can be difficult at the best of times, never mind if you're going through extreme heartache. You may find that a widower is barely even motivated to get up in the morning as they might feel like they have nothing to live for - quite a common feeling for those missing a loved one.19. They Struggle To Work
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If a person widowed goes back to work, they may find that they struggle. Their focus has changed and perhaps so has their work ethic. Some people decide to go back to work as they think it'll help to distract them, putting their thoughts elsewhere. However until they have processed the grief fully then they're at risk of underperformance.20. Forgetful
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As their thoughts tend to be focused on the grief, the widower may become forgetful and struggle to function in their daily lives. It's important for them not to get frustrated at this as it just means their brain is using energy for things more important than what they were doing when they walked into a room.21. Messy House
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Just as self-care takes a step back, so does the house work. Their motivation for cleaning dwindles as they just don't find it important anymore. Often a person in grief needs a bit of support with daily duties, so friends going round just to cook and clean would be a life saver.22. Anxiety
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Confusing feelings and emotions are likely to bring on a lot of anxiety, as their nervous system detects danger. A widower will seem more anxious than usual, and you can normally see it in their body language. Suddenly feeling lonely won't help these feelings, so it's vital that they know they're not alone.23. Less Confidence
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Losing your significant other may make life feel as though it isn't worth living. This tragic outlook suggests that the person grieving isn't worthy of being alive if they're to be alone, and so their self-confidence will plummet as does their self-care.24. Irritable
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A widower probably can't understand their emotions, much less know how to handle them. They are likely to act out of character, and might even say some cruel things they don't mean. They just want everything to be well again and as it can't be, their attitude might be quite snappy.25. They Can't Listen To Certain Songs
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Music has the power to ignite memories, good or bad, whilst invoking strong memories. Married couples may have songs they loved together, or songs from particular events such as their wedding, which makes them too painful to listen to. Perhaps in time they will help the widower to remember the good times, it may just take a while.26. Struggles To Trust
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Trust is something that can be broken so easily. For a widower, it will feel like their person has been taken, so to trust that it won't happen again is an extremely difficult thing to obtain. This lack of trust may come out in other ways as they lose trust in other people, but it is yet another stage of grief that will pass.27. Doesn't Care About Appearance
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Even someone who used to go out in a full face of make up and dressed up to the nines, may start to look a bit withdrawn and disheveled. Appearance suddenly becomes unimportant as self-care goes out of the window. All that matters is if they're keeping themselves clean - if that goes too far wayward then some intervention may be necessary.28. Drinks More Alcohol
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Grief often brings out destructive coping mechanisms. Many people turn to alcohol to help them to get through it, and it may work for a very brief period. Just a couple of drinks may calm their nerves, however if they drink excessively then they will lose all inhibition and feel the trauma wholeheartedly. This leads to further trauma and a deeper hole.29. Stops Leaving The House
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Leaving the house might be the last thing on a widowers mind. They are highly emotional, often wish to be left alone, and struggle to enjoy the outdoors. Going to the shop may even be a struggle. Opening the curtains is enough in the early stages of grief, as long as they're getting some human interaction.30. Erratic Behavior
