30 Relationship Troubles We All Face At Least Once In Our Lives

By Lynsey 8 months ago

Unrealistic expectations

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One of the fastest ways to create an unhappy vibe in your relationship is to set high expectations that do nothing other than leave you feeling disappointed. It can also be very frustrating for your partner and quite demoralising to always feel as if they are letting you down.

Unclear expectations

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Your partner is not a mind reader. That may come as a surprise but it's true. So, those high expectations you have... unless you're voicing them to your partner, in a way they understand, they won't be met. They also may be irrationally unachievable so it might be worth revisiting them if you find yourself constantly feeling down or disappointed.

Poor communication

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Communication is a huge part of any relationship. We've all been there where we have felt misunderstood by our partner and we're left feeling frustrated, unheard, and devalued. Remember everyone has different communication styles and it's about identifying this and trying to consider this the next time you and your partner are having a difficult conversation.

Unsupportive partner / lack of support

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A partner should want you to be the best version of yourself, achieving any goal and dream you have. When they are unsupportive and downplay your aspirations or simply shut you down when you try to talk about what's important to you, it can leave you feeling really unhappy.

Finances

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The difficult conversation about finances is never easy but it is so important. It is common that one person will earn more money than the other so discussing how bills are split or talking about debts and repayments can cause arguments, especially if one of you happens to lose your job or are particularly bad at budgeting and planning ahead.

Cheating and infidelity

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Cheating and having affairs is a problem that is only getting worse with couples today. It seems that people don't know or don't want to be faithful and date just one person and rather they would like many eggs in many baskets. The trouble with cheating is that it breaks trust which can be hard to earn back. Maybe just talk to your partner, instead of getting with someone new?

Not enough time together alone

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Every relationship goes through a phase at some point where you feel like roommates rather than anything romantic. It can come when you have children or when you're simply working too hard. If this is happening it's time to take one another out on a date and rekindle some romance away from the stresses of life.

Boredom

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When life feels mundane and full of routine, it can be easy to think it's boring. It's natural when this happens to think the grass is greener or to chase some excitement in life, however, that will only lead to relationship issues. If you're feeling bored, try change things up a bit before jumping ship.

Sexual intimacy

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The beginning of a relationship and the infamous 'honeymoon' period tends to be overly filled with intimacy. However, as the years go by this can become less and less as other life bits take over. Try spicing things up a little and become less predictable to find that spark again.

The anger habit

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Being angry with one another can become a nasty habit. You can start to pre-empt what your partner will do to annoy you or wake up expecting them to do something to annoy you and before you know it, you're angry and getting into a heated argument over breakfast. Try to change that mindset - you don't have to react to anger with anger!

Not consulting each other

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Consulting your partner will make them feel like a priority and that they are important. There's nothing worse than your partner suddenly making big life choices on their own, like moving location or quitting their job,  and you're left there feeling lost and out of place. You're meant to be a team after all!

Lack of trust

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Having trust issues in a relationship can be linked to one of you cheating but that's not always the case. Sometimes you partner will simply appear not truthful or you have a gut instinct they aren't telling you everything. In these cases, its best to have it out with them so sit down and talk about it - it won't go away and will only get worse the more you sweep it under the carpet!

Overwhelm

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There will be many moments in life where you feel overwhelmed and like you're not coping. You will definitely have one of these moments, or more, when in a relationship. It could be life stresses happening all at once, or adding children in to the mix, either way it's common for the relationship to take a back seat whilst you navigate this phase.

Not prioritising each other

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It's so easy to take each other for granted. One day you're making your partner feel on top of the world, like they are the most special person in your life, the next you only get time together over a rushed meal or only talk when assigning chores. This is sure to add strain so instead, take some time out to love one another again and make each other feel special!

Chore wars

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It's easy to feel frustrated with your loved one and overly irritable when you feel like you're the one taking out the trash for the hundredth time, or doing a dozen loads of laundry before 9am. Fighting over chores is a leading cause for issues in a relationship so it's time to get out the calendar and split those bad boys up.

Different intimacy needs

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Being intimate with each other is important in a relationship as it helps to make you feel physically and emotionally close. However, there's nothing worse than one of you wanting to be a little bit frisky and try something new but your partner doesn't, or your s*x drive is considerably higher than your partners. If this is the case, it's time for a talk!

Lack of appreciation

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Being taken for granted is one of the number one reasons relationships fall apart. It doesn't take much to acknowledge your partner and say thank you for the little things they do for you. This could be simply making you a cuppa in bed or going all out and spoiling you over a dinner - both count and both need appreciating.

Children

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Children are an amazing addition to any relationship, however they are not an easy addition. They require a lot of dedication and effort from both parties and if it feels like one of you is doing more than the other, it is sure to cause tension. You may disagree with how to raise the children our maybe it just comes more naturally to one of you. Either way, talk about it before it escalates!

Over-involvement

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Being with the love of your life can mean you literally want to be with them every minute and every second of the day. This however, although probably cute in the beginning, is not so healthy. It can feel suffocating and like you are losing your identities so make sure to take time out for yourselves.

Significant differences

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When your values don't align and you find yourself disagreeing on how to simply 'do life', it means you're bound to argue. One of you may be spontaneous and one of you might be a meticulous planner - both are okay and can work we'll together if you accommodate one another.

Jealousy

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Some jealousy in a relationship can be healthy and show the other person you love and care about them. But, when you find yourself asking them where they are going, what they are doing and who they are doing it with, it can become a toxic trait that is with stressful for you and them.

Growing apart

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Life can get in the way of any relationship, even the best of them. One day you might find yourself waking up and realising that you and your partner have grown to be very different people. You might not remember the last time you did anything just the two of you. If this is you, its time to pause, regroup and find what connected you both together in the first place.

Addiction

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Addiction of any kind can put serious strain on a relationship. It can cause trust issues - no-one will be open about their addictions - money issues and can cause neglect of any children you have. Often it adds pressure to the other partner in the relationship which over time will take its toll.

Moving at different speeds

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It's always tricky navigating the speed in which you and your partner want to move in the relationship. In the beginning its navigating how much time is too much time to spend with each other and later on its when is it time to buy a house and settle down. Conflict occurs when you both disagree with the pace of the relationship.

Lack of responsibility

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Relationships, especially the longer they are, require both of you to accept large amounts of responsibility. This could be money responsibilities or responsibilities to keep the children alive or even the house tidy. If the responsibility is evenly distributed, it'll make one of you feel very overwhelmed and irritable at the other.

Controlling behaviour

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Controlling behaviour in a relationship can be quite common. It can consume the entire relationship or it can appear in small pockets, maybe over certain life factors. It is when one partner expects the other to behave in a certain way and is a toxic trait to look out for and avoid if possible.

Outside influences

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We all have the friends who have to be involved in everyone's business or have seen people on a night out who are 'too free' and end up causing problems within everyone else's relationships. There will always be an outside factor sent to test you and your partner and it's about your own relationship strength and how you navigate that as a couple that will make you both stronger in the future.

Keeping a scoreboard

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Arguments happen in a relationship and we all do things that our partners find incredibly annoying. However, the healthiest of relationships will let the little things go and not hold a grudge or keep score. If you find yourself doing that and dragging up old dirt every time you fight, take note that this is healthy and won't help your relationship.

Life gets in the way

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Unexpected life events will always happen. Life is not easy and neither is being in a relationship. It's how you communicate and navigate these hurdles as a couple that is important. Make time for each other to be heard and value each others opinions to know when life feels that little bit too much.

Trauma

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Some life events are unfortunately catastrophic and will either pull you both together or sadly pull you apart. The key here is to try not retreat and bottle up your emotions and instead allow yourself to be vulnerable to your partner. They are there for you to turn to if you're struggling - let that pride go!