Respect Your Partner
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The most important thing you can do in order to gain the liking of your new in-laws is by showing that you respect your partner. Show them that you're both on the same level and that neither of you are above the other! This is a sure-fire way to ensure that your new parents in law have you on their good side.
Respect Them!
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Perhaps more importantly to your partner's parents, you need to show that you respect them just as much if not more than your new fiancé. Meeting the in laws for the first time is a terrifying experience, I'm sure a number of you would agree? But don't try anything to risky on your first meeting!
Dress Nicely
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The one thing you don't want your new in-laws to think is that you don't care about your appearance; now they're probably not going to be angry you haven't dressed up but you still want to make a good first impression. There'll be plenty of time for you to dress comfortably with them in the future!
Show An Interest In Their Interests
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Often as a result of the age gap between you and your in-laws there can be a separation between what it is that you both like to do in your spare time. You might even find something out that you don't already do yourself and then you've got the perfect new hobby to build your new relationship.
Spend Time With Them Away From Your Partner
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This can be even more daunting than you actually first meeting your in-laws as you no longer have that layer of protection (your partner being your shield). Don't worry though (unless they're crazy) you'll often find that you end up talking about things that can help you understand one another (or they'll hate you...).
Be Respectful To Anyone Else Around You
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Often, our first meeting with the in-laws is typically in quite a formal setting and not somewhere where you can have many private conversations. As they would expect you to treat them and your partner well, they'll also be on the lookout to make sure you aren't faking this and you're also nice to the waiters or other people in the restaurant...
Eat Politely
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Another thing you need to make sure you do at the restaurant is not wolf down your food as if you haven't eaten before. I know this can be hard, especially if you haven't eaten all day or, simply, the food you're eating is great. But you want your first impression to be strong and if you have spaghetti dripping out your mouth it isn't going to help.
Introduce Them To Your Parents
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Perhaps if you and your own parents or one of them have some plans together, it might be nice for you to try and introduce them during an activity, this can show them two things. One of which is that it shows you want to get to know them and the other that you plan to treat them like a real parent not just someone you're going to become (somewhat) related to.
Try Things You Might Not Enjoy
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Your first meeting with an in-law can be very important and they can happen in a variety of places. The likelihood is that they'll have chosen something they enjoy like a specific restaurant or perhaps an activity they enjoy. The least you can do is try this new type of food or give it your best shot at a new activity!
Bring Them Some Food
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One of the best things you can do for your in-laws is show them some of your skills; often people like to make their new parents some form of food to, One: show that they're capable in the kitchen and Two: it shows you're trying to make an effort to impress them! You don't need to go too far here, maybe bake some cakes or something!
Bring Them A Gift
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If you're like me and cooking or baking isn't one of your strong points, you might not want to risk poisoning your new in-laws, I'm sure that wouldn't go down so well! Instead find something out from your partner and instead try and find them a meaningful gift to show your intentions!
Listen To Any Advice They Might Have
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This doesn't mean that you have to take everything your in-laws say as gospel, but if you give them the opportunity to have a say in something to do with you and you listen, it at least shows you're willing to listen and remain interested. Who knows, you might even find out something or come to a realisation that you weren't aware of.
Stick To Your Values
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Although you don't want to incur the wrath of your new in-laws, the chances are that if you disagree with something they'll probably respect that you won't back down on something that's important to you. This doesn't mean you can go apes*** at them, keep it respectable for your own sake!
Don't Make Inappropriate Jokes
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Sometimes in an attempt to make our new in-laws laugh we might go a little overboard and jokes can get a little out of hand. It's a great idea to try and show you have a good sense of humour but for the love of god please think about your jokes before you spit them out. The last thing you want to do is offend them right at the start of your relationship!
Discuss Your Partner With Clarity
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Your new parents are realistically only looking for one thing when they meet you and that's to make sure that you're taking your relationship seriously. Make sure you're clear that you love your partner and you're truly in it for the long haul. You'd be the same if the roles were reversed remember!
Dish Out Some Compliments
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One thing that will always earn you some brownie points is my complimenting them on something. You could pick out an item of their clothing and discuss where they bought it, or if you're visiting their home you could try and pick something out that you really like to strike up a bond with them.
Make Sure To Thank Them
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Often the in-laws like to have control of the first meeting they have with you, they might want you to come round to their home or they might be the ones who are wanting to foot the bill for your meal. No matter what, ensure you show that you're polite and thank them for having you!
Send Them Seasonal Cards
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Okay, no, I'm not suggesting you send them a card for every single holiday; but if you want to show that you want them in your life personally, then think about sending some cards. I'm talking Birthday and Christmas cards, and if you can deliver them by hand then you're probably on to a winner.
Offer A Hand
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If you're visiting your in-laws home then you might want to show you're willing to help out around the house, maybe offering to do or at least help with the dishes after you've had a meal. They might not let you help, but if you at least try it's only going to shine a light on to you being a helpful person.
Arrange A Vacation Together
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This can be an extremely frightening and time consuming (not forgetting expensive) thing to plan and pull together, but it's a great way to bond with your in-laws. Take into account the things that they love to do and match them with your own preferences to arrange the dream trip.
Don't Show Too Much PDA
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You want to show your new parents that you love their child, but they aren't interested in watching you not letting go of your partner for the entirety of your meeting. This doesn't mean you should be robotic in your emotions but I'm sure you'll be able to keep your hands (and lips) off your partner for a few hours.
Don't Change Yourself
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The likelihood is that if you're trying to portray a fake, fantasised version of yourself that your in-laws will be able to break down your (fake) wall. It's not you and them that are in a relationship but you and their child and they'll (probably) like you for who you are as long as they see you're a good person.
Simply Look Happy
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Nothing will put off your partners' parents more than if you look like you'd want to be anywhere else than with them at the time. It might be scary and you might be drenched with nervousness but you have to show a friendly (and smiley) exterior. This might even calm yourself down over time.
Try To Not Be Nervous
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This is obviously easier said than done but you underestimate how much easier your meeting will be if you manage to keep your heart rate down. They're just your in-laws and they aren't going to rip you apart (unless...). Seriously though, you probably have nothing to worry about, especially if you know you're a good partner.
Don't Get Drunk!
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Don't turn down a drink if that your in-laws are offering one, it's probably them showing you that you're able to relax. But people can take it a step too far and drink to get rid of any nervousness, this realistically only leads to you making a fool of yourself and that won't do anything for your first impression.
Don't Argue With Your Partner
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Like we've already discussed, the whole goal of your initial interaction with your in-laws is to show them that you're both in love with one another. So one thing you definitely don't want to do is begin arguing with one another. Maybe think about avoiding any negative emotions until you're out the firing line.
DEFINITELY DON'T ARGUE WITH THE PARENTS!!!!
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Yep, this is possibly the most obvious one to feature in this whole list but the WORST thing you can do is get in to a back and forth with your future parents-in-law. Even if they say something that gets under your skin, under all circumstances, avoid arguing back with them. It can be hard to move on with something like this.
Avoid Controversy
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There are a number of topics that you'll probably want to avoid getting stuck into when your spending time with your in-laws. Most notably you'll probably want to avoid politics (unless you know that you're all in agreement). These can typically lead to some heated interactions that won't do you any favours.
Follow Their Traditions
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Different families will have traditions that are very particular to them and one of the best things you can do to show that you're serious about your relationship with them and their child is showing a willingness to join in. This could be anything from a weekly event to Thanksgiving or Christmas traditions.
Have A Life Plan
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Not all of us know everything we want to do in our lives, some of us (me) don't even know what we want to do in the next week. But if you have at least some inkling about what you want to do in terms of your life, lifestyle or employment then it'll show your in-laws that you're a productive and hard working person.