12+ Signs You Came From A Broken Home

By Nick Hadji 8 months ago

1. You have stress habits, for example, stress cleaning

Image source/ PinterestWe all respond to stressful situations in different ways. And people who have experiences more past stress may have more prominent techniques than other people. Such as cleaning and over cleaning. This is a common method that people use to try and overcome or keep their stress at bay.Original content sourced from Femanin.com

2. You moved around a lot as a child

Image source/ RedditMoving homes, moving schools, maybe even moving from different people to people. These are all signs of a broken home. Uprooting your life is not easy, especially for a child who crave and need to be surrounded by a feeling of security and familiarity.

3. Normal things make you feel nervous

Image source/ etsyIt could be going out of the house, speaking to someone, sending an email...absolutely anything at all. Anxiety is a common problem amongst people. And, it tends to occur in a higher percentage of people who have come from broken homes because they are thinking and fearing that something bad will happen.

4. You always think people will leave you

Image source/ RedditWhen you have come from a broken home, the likelihood is that you have experienced someone leaving you whether this was temporary or for good. And so, naturally now you will fear that people are always going to leave you, it will have damaged your sense of security in relationships.

5. You are always apologizing

Image source/ memezAlways apologising can be a natural reply without much thinking. But, it can also be a sign of more deeper trauma. For example, you are apologising constantly for fear of letting people down, or disappointing people or because you blame yourself for everything that happens around you.

6. You block out the world around you

Image source/ RedditWhen you have been raised in a broken home, your brain and body have to learn coping mechanisms to protect you from too much emotional damage. For this reason, you may find yourself inadvertently blocking out the world around you. For example, you may see someone scream and hear no noise.

7. You are desperate to keep the peace

 

Image Source / eHow

Everyone loves peace. But when you are so desperate to keep that peace at any extent, it can be a symbol of growing up in a  broken home when you never experienced peace and there was constant turbulence. You may be so afraid to return to that place that you will do anything to keep the peace.

8. Having a child scares you

Image source/ QuoraHaving a child is the biggest blessing in the world. If you have come from a broken home yourself, having a child may feel scary or daunting because you desperately want to shelter them and protect them from inflicting what you had to go through, on them.

9. Any signs of conflict and you are triggered

Image source/ The MirrorAny conflict at all, and you may panic. You might start to shake, you may feel yourself sweating and you may develop that anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach. This is because your past experiences of conflict are triggering you now even if it is seems insignificant in comparison.

10. You think that every fight or argument will be the end of the relationship

Image source/ Business InsiderDo you argue with the thought that that is it for good. Do you feel like any fight will be the last forever, even if you don't want it too. This may be because you have probably lived through and witnessed some damaging relationships making you feel that everything will end them.

11. You close yourself off and won't get too close to people

Image source/ RedditIt's a basic instinct to put up your defence mechanisms before you get too close to someone to avoid ever being hurt by them. It's relationship sabotage 101. It's very common, but also destructive because you may be depriving yourself of love and relationships.

12. You feel as though you have to do everything for everyone

Image source/ ForbesYou may now have taken on all of the responsibilities that nobody took on for you as a child. As a child, you may have had to be fairly self sufficient, be it in a practical or emotional sense. Now, to not repeat the patterns you may feel the compulsion to do everything for everyone.

13. You feel a disconnect between your body and mind

Image source/ blogspotA disconnect between our mind and body can sometimes happen when we experience trauma. Our brain has many techniques for coping. But, the experiences you have faced may have left you feeling as though your mind and body are separate and disconnected from one another.

14. You always try and make people happy

Image source/ RedditAgain, you probably endured a lot of sadness in your childhood as a result of coming from a broken home. And so, this is something you do not want to inflict upon those around you whom you love so you may find yourself constantly wanting to make people happy.

15. You cannot stand confrontation or contention

Image source/ News4JAX

Any signs of confrontation or contention and you're out. You shut down. You either start to panic or you have to remove yourself from the situation. Does this sound like you? If so, you probably experienced a broken home life as a child that has made confrontation seem heightened.

16. You're always have an escape route ready

Image source/ RedditDo you enter a situation thinking about your plan when it doesn't work out. Or, if something goes wring you plan what you would do to escape? While it can be a wise thing, it can also be an unhealthy habit. It could possibly sabotage future relationships and growth.

17. You do not trust people's words

Image source/ wikiA child with a stable home life will most probably hear people's words and feel much more trusting towards them than a child who was raised in a broken hoe. This is because the latter child will have been let down many a time, so that their faith has diminished.

18. You prepare for the worst

Image source/ PinterestAlways skipping to the worst case scenario or expecting things to go wring is not a good mindset to have. Because, it may also go right. And predicting everything to go badly will stop you doing anything or loving anyone wholeheartedly because you are expecting the worst.

19. You feel anxious frequently

Image source/ RedditAnxiety is a horrible feeling and thing. And people who come from a broken home or more likely to experience it. That feeling of impending doom is hard to shake. Particularly, if the things that you feared would happen used to happen frequently as a child.

20. You are very protective of the children close to you

Image source/ Modern Family Wiki FandomComing from a broken home may want you to protect your loved ones at ALL costs. You may feel super protective over them, more so than is usual, to make sure that the horrible things you once experienced do not ever happen to your family or loved ones.

21. Any reprimand/ criticism can cause you distress

Image source/ tribute.caReprimands, criticisms or insults may have been frequent in your past and so even now hearing anything remotely negative (even if it wasn't ever tended to be) can be extremely  distressing for you. This is because it is triggering those past feelings.

22. You always feel as though you have let people down

Image source/ RedditOne sign that you have come from a broken home is when you constantly feel as though you have let people down. This is because you were probably made to feel this way when you were growing up and you probably blamed yourself as a child when you witnessed things go wrong.

23. You have learnt to meditate

Image source/ RedditIn a similar way as stress habits, meditation is another way people cope with stress. But in this sense it is very positive for your mind and body because of the powerful effect it has. If you have experienced a broken home you may have learned tot ap into the tools of meditation.

24. You notice EVERYTHING

Image source/ RedditHyper alert. All of the time. What's that noise? I saw something! Sound familiar? This constant vigilance shoes that you are struggling to relax. It also shows that you are in defence more, ready to protect against threats which you are constantly fearing.

25. You question if you are good enough

Image source/ RedditSimilarly, this can lead to you feel as though you are not good enough as an adult. Because you were not surrounded by positive loving and stable influences growing up, you have an ingrained feeling that you are not as worthy and you will not realise how great you are.

26. You spent a lot of time alone

Image source/ PinterestWhen you are alone you may feel that this is the only time you control if you have grown up in a broken home. So, you may crave your space and personal time because nobody else is there to cause you any stress or pain. Some alone time is necessary, but too much can also be a negative thing.

27. You never felt safe

Image source/ MommyishFeeling safe as a child is one of the most important feelings - aside from being loved. It has such an important impact on a child's well being and development. Growing up feeling unsafe may mean that you never manage to feel safe, even as an adult...

28. Or loved

Image source/ HOLAAs we said, feeling loved as a child is crucial. Many studies have pointed to the connection between mental and physical well being and growth and the love a child receives. Not experiencing love or enough love as a child could majorly inhibit your ability to love and to feel loved as an adult.

29. You always questioned where you would end up

Image source/ mumsnetWhere will I end up? Where will O go if my family leave me? What will I do? None of these things are thoughts a child should ever endure. And, id you have then you were brough up in a broken home without the necessary emotional security and protection.

30. You witnessed a lot of arguments

Image source/ RedditWatching heated arguments frequently as a child leaves the child with trauma as well as negative views on relationships - both of which may manifest themselves as an adult and your views on family life. If this sounds like you, then you must have come from a broken home.

31. You have a strong urge/need for human attention

Image source/ RedditWhen you have come from a broken home, you most likely haven't had that love and support that children need. Undying love and affection will probably be something you missed out on, so its only natural you feel the need for human attention in huge amounts as an adult to make up for the lack of it in early life.

32. Even if it is bad...

Image source/ RedditBut this does not always mean you want good attention. You may have a desire to be notice, whether that is good or bad may not matter as much as being seen. This is because you felt overlooked as a child and now your behaviour cries out for attention, albeit positive or negative.

33. You seek out happiness in material possessions

Image source/ MetroDo you crave material goods and possessions? This could be because you are in some way trying to make up for an emptiness or some kind of void in your life. Even if this void comes from the past. You may not even realise it, but this behaviour can show you are desiring something to fill that part of you.

34. You'll do anything to be noticed

Image source/ RedditTo someone who has been neglected, or overlooked and made to feel unimportant you might do anything to feel noticed. You might even feel yourself playing up in certain situations, to make people watch you or to try and get people to like you to try and feel loved or desired. You may even engage in disruptive behaviour to get noticed.

35. You resent people who are happy

Image source/ RedditHappy people are happy for other people who are happy. Now that's a lot of happiness in one sentence. But the thing is, if you yourself do not feel fulfilled you cannot enjoy hearing about somebody else who feels content. You will resent it because you do not have that in your own life and are jealous of it.

36. And relish other people's unhappiness

Image source/ RedditIn fact, even if you would never want to admit this to anyone including yourself, you're probably happier to hear that someone is miserable or ahs suffered in some way. This way you can relate and empathise, whereas in the opposite situation you cannot.

37. You form romantic relationships that aren't good for you and that you know can't work

Image source/ BuzzFeed NewsSome research and statistics show that people who have experienced broken homes as a child are more likely to form a broken home themselves. In fact you may even seek out the relationships that are not good for you and will not work because you are subliminally recreating the pattern in your life that is familiar and you have witnessed.

38.  You end up in controlling relationships

Image source/ RedditThis can even lead to you ending up in a controlling relationships. When you come from a broken home, sometimes people do not know how to form a healthy relationship, or how to seek out a person who will allow them to have that. This can lead to unhealthy, toxic or controlling relationships.

39. Many of your relationships seem to be with people much older

Image source/ RedditOther experts claim that people from broken homes may seek out people who are much older than them, for example, they may go for a romantic partner with a large age gap. One thinking is that this is because they are subconsciously seeking paternal/maternal figures they lacked in childhood.

40. You have been exploited

Image source/ Tower of PowerExploitation can come in many, many ways. There are many aspects where somebody can exploit or take advantage. And it is important to clarify it is never that person's fault. People from broken homes, according to some experts, believe that they are more vulnerable to people exploiting them.

41. You have a real drive and ambition

Image source/ RedditAmbition and drive are great qualities to have. And, if you are from a broken home you may use your background to aspire to a different kind if life. It can fill you with the kind of drive and passion that many people could never have due to the things you have experienced.

42. And have made a success of yourself!

Image source/ YouTubeIf you have these qualities you have probably made a success of yourself.  Many people from broken homes want to provide their family a life which isn't reflective of theirs in any way, shape or form. As such, it can drive you to succeed and ensure that you make a success of ourself in whatever capacity that may be.

43. You struggle to talk openly about emotions

Image source/ The MirrorOpening up when you have been hurt or when you have had dysfunctional family relationships and a broken home can be extremely difficult. It may even feel impossible, as though you are exposing yourself, and opening up to more hurt. But this communication can make your relationships stringer over time and build up trust.

44. You are scared to show your flaws

Image source/ RedditNobody is perfect, we all have flaws. And it's completely okay to admit these flaws and show them. But you may feel as though you cannot, because you fear that somebody ill leave if you show them all of you. So you may try and hide who you truly are in order to keep somebody.

45. And scared to disagree with people

Image source/ Make a Meme.orgYou may also be completely afraid of confrontation and disagreement. This could be because you have witnessed it many times in the past, and as such, you associate disagreement with toxic behaviour, rather than something which can be healthy and helpful.

46. You sometimes question people when they are nice to you

Image source/ GoodTherapyWhat do they want? Why are they helping me? What's their underlying intention? There's definitely a balance between being too trusting and not trusting anyone. While we can't be naïve, it is also not healthy to assume that everyone is out to get you.

47. You always feel you need to prove yourself more

Image source/ RedditAlways striving for more can be great, but it can also be unsatisfying because you never feel enough. Trying to prove yourself is exhausting. But you may feel that it is difficult to accept yourself and be satisfied with who you are and what you have achieved.

48. You crave stability

Image source/ RedditCraving stability when you come from a broken home is completely normal. Stability and safety are some of the basic things which humans crave. And this could be great for you, to build an environment which feels stable and secure to overcome your past difficulties.

49. And do not want to more/relocate your family

Image source/ Redditmay make your completely reluctant to ever want to move house or relocate your family, or even yourself. Coming from a broken home may mean you never had routine or the security you craved as a child, making you want to avoid this feeling, or avoid having to put your children through this.

50. You have waves of loneliness

Image source/ The Wolf WebIf you experienced a broken home as a child, you probably did not have the figures to show you warmth and love and support. As such, you may have spent much of your childhood feeling lonely. Even if you are no longer lonely, you may still feel waves of this emotion now.