1. Your gut tells you so
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Human intuition is the manifestation of your subconscious mind picking up subtle signs that you might even know you’re noticing. If you have a pit in your stomach about someone, it’s time to start paying more attention. You might just be onto something so keep pulling at that thread.
2. Lies don’t add up
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Your pal bailed out on your date to visit his sick mother. The next time you ask him about it, he doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about. He may even ask you whose mother was sick. Liars can’t keep their stories straight, and when the lies keep piling, they may be covering for a secret life.
3. Too much travel
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Travel is the easiest and oldest excuse in the book. People who lead double lives often use it to explain their absence without drawing unnecessary attention that could expose them. If you know someone who’s always on the road and isn’t a driver by profession, something may be off.
4. A mysterious job
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Do you know what your pal does for work? Well, it’s not because you are a bad friend, but probably because they do a great job giving you the runaround about their occupation. Maybe they are a secret agent for the government. Or they don’t want you to meet colleagues who could give them away.
5. Taking calls in secret
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Suppose your partner is constantly scurrying for privacy whenever their phone rings; this could mean either of two things. Your friend is secretly a citizen by day and a superhero by night. Or, the second most likely scenario, he’s having conversations with people he doesn’t want you to know about.
6. MIA family members
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If you have never met any family members or friends, your friend may be a ghost, not the spooky kind that hides in your closet or underneath your bed. But your friend may be the kind of person who just ups and leaves and never looks back. If friends and family remain unknown, you may be on the other side of his life.
7. Runs into a fight
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You see a mugging in a dark alley. Your first instinct is to run away like you stole something, right? But not your friend. He dashes into danger. They have secret mastery of Krav Maga and are ready to put it to work. It doesn’t have to play out this way. The point is that hidden skills are a red flag.
8. Too paranoid
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People who lead a double life are extra suspicious of everything. They read too much into the simplest things. Even a neighbor's inquiry about the day could lead to the conclusion that the neighbor is investigating him. If you know someone like this, chances are they have another life.
9. Go-bags everywhere
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Your friend has a go-bag in her car, another in her locker at work, and probably three more stashed away in other secret locations. What’s that all about? Is she a spy? I don’t know about that, but It may mean that your pal knows the jig could be up in an instant and is ready to make a run for it.
10. Fascination with spy gadgets
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While you’re leaping for joy at the latest iPhone release, your friend has a penchant for the weirdest technology. He has MacGyver-like knowledge of burner phones, frequency scramblers, and other strange gadgetry. I hate to break it to you, but your new BFF may not be what he claims.
11. Vague excuses
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Has a friend ever given you an excuse to suddenly bail that was so lame and vague that you weren’t even buying it? That may be a sign of a double life. Maybe there’s an unforeseen emergency in the second life they need to tend to, and thus have little time to come up with an elaborate lie.
12. No back story
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The only thing you know about your buddy stems from the day you met onward. There’s little to no information about their life before you. Plus, they don’t take too kindly to questions about their previous life and readily change the subject when you’re getting a little too close to the truth.
13. Trilingual or more
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English, French, German, Portuguese, you name it, your friend knows it. They brush it aside, saying that they just love new cultures and experiences. That may be true. But it could also be true that they’re more than switching languages. Your buddy may also be switching personalities.
14. Too much money
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Your friend is so loaded, but he doesn’t have a source of income, as far as you know. Alternatively, the money they make from their present job doesn’t quite match up to the lavish lifestyle they’re leading. Maybe rich parents are making it happen. Or, maybe something else is going on on the side.
15. A great cover story
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Due to constant volunteer work with a nameless NGO, your friend has earned the right to disappear without question- and for a “good cause.” However, you don’t quite know what specifically they are up to, and they never want to let you visit them there. You need to wake up and smell the coffee.
16. Comes and goes
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He or she promised to be sticking around for a while. But then, despite even renewing residency, they leave you hanging by pulling a disappearing act with little or no explanation. Just as suddenly as they left, they turn up like a bad penny. Interesting.
17. Frequent change of company
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Conversely, someone who leads a double life may also switch company just as often as they change their clothes. If you constantly see your partner with unfamiliar faces often, and they have difficulty explaining their identities, it’s time to start asking some hard questions.
18. Hidden finances
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Say you’re living with your roommate’s bestie; they call all the shots when it comes to the finances. Moreover, they hide several credit cards from you, and the same may also go for card/bank statements. If your friend is overly protective about his finances, something’s up.
19. One too many late nights
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This particularly applies if you’re in a relationship with a partner you suspect could be seeing someone else. If, out of the blue, your partner has suddenly developed a habit of coming home late, giving one excuse after the other for having to work overtime, you have reason to be suspicious.
20. Their phone is a no-go zone
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Your buddy is super protective of his phone. Even when he’d like to share a meme with you that he thought funny, he’s urgently asking for it back a second later. It may hint at potential phone addiction, or the more likely scenario that he’s afraid you could stumble onto his secret.
21. Extremely defensive
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When you catch her in a lie, she turns it around. What started as an inquiry to her whereabouts, is flipped into an issue of you not trusting her. People leading double lives are masters at deflection and can even talk their way out when caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
22. Hides you like the last slice of pizza
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You suggest to do something fun with your partner and his friends. He thinks it better to stay indoors and catch a movie. If you notice a pattern where a friend/spouse goes to great lengths not to be seen with you in public, you likely reside in the part of his life that he wants to keep secret.
23. Constantly on a device
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Always hunched over a laptop and punching away on the keyboard. Or constantly texting and giggling on their phone. When you ask about it, the reply is usually to the tune of, “Nothing much, just work stuff.” If the devices are constantly blowing up, it may not be work-related at all.
24. Quick to anger
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Is your friend easily offended whenever you ask one too many questions? Do you feel as though you have to walk on eggshells around them? You may be on to something, and they’re just pulling out the stop signs, so you don’t dig any further. I say keep digging, but don’t be too obvious.
25. Unfamiliar names/places
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You were having an exciting conversation with your friend. Suddenly, they drop the name of an unfamiliar person or place. For a moment, they freeze like a deer caught in headlights, then they brush it aside and won’t entertain any follow-up questions. This is certainly more than weird.
26. Unreasonable boundaries
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Sure, everyone’s entitled to some privacy. But if your partner doesn’t acknowledge you on social media, or he’s always putting off a visit to his parents, the alarm bells should be sounding. Whatever it is, they have set some pretty unusual boundaries that leave you wondering what the heck.
27. Mixing up experiences
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Your bestie sees something and goes, “This reminds me of the time we were in California.” Sounds harmless, right? One problem, though, is that you’ve never set foot in California. This “data confusion” indicates that your buddy is mixing up experiences from his other life.
28. Your family has reservations
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We are often blinded by what we want to see in a person, and we ignore the other side of them. Your family and friends, however, may have a better read on just what type of person they are. If your social circle doesn’t take too kindly to that person, you may need to lift the veil off your eyes.
29. Little odd things
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People who lead a double life often leave a subtle tail of breadcrumbs even if they don’t know it. From a coffee cup from a café nowhere near their “home” to baseball tickets for a game you most certainly didn’t attend, these are all clues that you can pick up with careful attention.
30. Cold and distant
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Your friendship was as warm as a Caribbean summer. Now, it’s frostier than the Arctic. If your buddy suddenly becomes distant or emotionally unavailable and thinks you’re making an overly big deal out of nothing, that could be because something else is drawing their focus and energy.