Early Signs That A Relationship Will Not Last

By Juliet S 1 year ago
New love is so intoxicating we often ignore the early signs that the relationship is NOT right for us. Maybe you've just started a new relationship and whilst it was going SO well at the start, all of a sudden things seem to just be a bit, well... reg flag central.

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From jealousy to poor communication, here are the early signs to look out for that a relationship will not last so you can decide for sure if it's time to throw in the towel...

1. Lack of communication or frequent misunderstandings

If you and your partner constantly feel like you're not on the same page, something likely needs to change. If you always seem to misunderstand each other this could be a sign that you won't last.
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Start by asking how the other person feels, try to think about particular emotions and always keep your partner in the loop if you don't like something they are doing.

2. Disrespectful behavior towards each other

You should always have respect for your significant other. Whether this is in the way that you speak to them, treat them, or talk about them to others. Disrespecting each other will lead to a lack of trust and hurt - a sure way to upset the other person.
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It's never ok to speak rudely to someone, let alone your partner! So if you feel like a boundary has been crossed it might be time to call it a day.

3. Feeling unfulfilled or unhappy

When a person feels unfulfilled or unhappy, there is the possibility that they will leave the relationship behind to find happiness elsewhere. They could also act in ways that may be damaging to the relationship, out of desperation to seek fulfilment.
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The point here is to communicate how you feel. Make sure your partner knows if you're unhappy - it's relationship 101.

4. Having different values or goals in life

If two people are going to stay together happily, they need to want similar things out of life! If one person's dream is to settle down with a family, whilst the other has no intention of children and wants to travel the world forever, then it's likely not to work out.
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When you first meet someone, one of the most important things you should find out is there '5 year plan'. This will help you tell if you're on the same path in life, or not at all.

5. There are jealousy issues

Jealousy creates issues on both sides, the jealous person lives with constant anxiety, anger and insecurities. Whilst the partner on the receiving end is likely to become frustrated, suffocated and resentful that they're being scrutinised and not trusted.
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It's all about opening up and working out the root of the problem in order to overcome it. Again, speaking about feelings is the best way to do it!

6. Lack of transparency

If there is an apparent lack of transparency within a relationship, this can indicate many current and future issues! This is likely to create trust issues and prevents closeness as a couple.
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They say you can never really love someone else until you love yourself. Being transparent is a great example of this. Know yourself properly before you get to know someone else.

7. Constant arguments or fighting

If the relationship is constant ups and downs, full of turbulence, then it might one day become too much water under the bridge. Constant fights can create an environment where it's normal to insult and disrespect each other.
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If you're in a new relationship and already fighting loads, it's probably time to end it. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone you don't see eye to eye with.

8. Lack of emotional support or neglect

For a person to choose to stay in an environment, they need to feel like they are valued and supported. Without this, there is likely to be friction and a space will be created between the two.
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Listen to your partner - it's the big one! But don't just listen, hear what they say and offer good advice to them.

9. One or both partners are unfaithful

Possibly the most obvious reason a relationship may break down is when one person is unfaithful to the other. Cheating on a person could potentially stop them from being able to trust again.
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If it's early days and you feel you can't trust your partner again, then it's probably time to move on from your relationship.

10. Different views on important topics such as religion, politics, or family planning

A big difference in views on important topics is almost certainly going to cause arguments, conflict and friction. Aside from this, it impacts how you want to live your life.
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Get to know a person before you rush into a relationship with them. Find out about what makes them who they are and see if you are compatible.

11. Inability to compromise or find common ground

Relationships are about compromise. If one person has a 'my way or the high way' attitude, they're likely damaging their relationship. A simple compromise can help keep both people happy, satisfied and feeling heard.
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The picture of the cake is a perfect example of a compromise. The relationship might not last if you are unwilling to do this!

12. Ignoring or avoiding important issues

There may sometimes be awkward, difficult discussions which are needed in a relationship. Whilst it can be uncomfortable, addressing them can help bring two people closer and promote longer lasting happiness.
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Rule number 1 - don't avoid the issues. Face them head on and you can progress through them!

13. Difficulty resolving conflicts or issues

Everybody experiences disagreements and conflict in their relationships. But, it's important how this is handled afterwards. Blatant disinterest in making up with a partner, carrying on in silence or turning to toxic behaviors will lead to your relationship failing.
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Just like the cat above, you'll start feeling bitter towards your partner if you struggle to resolve conflict. Apologise when you need to and don't hold onto a grudge.

14. One partner consistently taking more than giving

Relationships should be 50/50 overall. Whilst sometimes one person may need a little more through difficult periods of life, this shouldn't be a constant.
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If you really think it will last, ask yourself 'am I receiving as much as I am giving here?' Then you're sure to know the answer.

15. One partner feeling controlled or manipulated

A lasting relationship should be built on respect and trust. If one person is not allowing the other to be themselves and make their own decisions, then something is seriously wrong.
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Controlling relationships can get dangerous, so be sure to check you are not getting carried away with the ups and completely ignoring the downs!

16. Lack of physical intimacy or sexual chemistry

Physical intimacy is what separates a friendship from a romance. Without this, people may have feelings of rejection, hurt and disappointment.
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It's crucial to feel comfortable with the level of intimacy, but whether it's going the full way or just touching, there are loads of way to show a bit of affection.

17. Lack of effort or investment in the relationship

Lacking effort in a relationship can present in many different ways. One example could be a person failing to make time for their significant other.
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Effort is everything and it's important to keep making it throughout your relationship. It's easy to get complacent in a long-term relationship.

18. Lack of shared interests or hobbies

For two people to stay happy together for the long run, there needs to be enjoyment and fun. If a couple have completely different interests and hobbies with little in common, how are they going to have fun together?
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Whether it's a soccer game or playing chess at home, trying new things is sure to keep a bit of a spark alive!

19. Feeling isolated or lonely within the relationship

Feeling lonely within a relationship is a whole different kind of loneliness - and it can be very damaging. If one person is feeling ignored or isolated, it's natural that they are going to seek companionship elsewhere.
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Remember to chat about how you feel and try to get to the root of the problem. Work out why you're feeling the way you are and communicate this to your SO.

20. One partner feeling smothered by the other

Nobody wants to feel smothered by their partner. Feeling as though somebody is keeping tabs on you and having your independence stripped away is not attractive!
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Spend a few nights away from your partner, guaranteed it will spark the relationship into action and you will miss each other loads!

21. Disagreements about money or financial goals

Money and finances are a constant which will always run through life. If two people are going to live alongside each other, there needs to be a mutual agreement of how the finances are going to go.
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Never expect someone to just pay for everything. And always thank your partner if they treat you to someone special - gratitude goes a long way!

22. Differences in lifestyle or daily habits

It's normal for couples to have different jobs or daily activities, but when their whole lifestyle and habits don't align, this can cause issues.
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If you live with someone, bad daily habits such as poor hygiene will really start to grate on your relationship. Make sure you are on the same page about how you feel about day to day things.

23. Being unable to forgive or let go of past mistakes or grievances

Are you the type to hold a grudge? Or perhaps you often bring up an event that happened 12 months ago and involve it in today's argument? This is not healthy!
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If you really can't let go, then it might be time to c all it a day. A passive aggressive relationship is not good, for anyone involved.

24. Disrespecting each other's boundaries or personal space

Boundaries and personal space are a necessity in all relationships! There are times when people will need time on their own or have their own personal boundaries which they are entitled to have respected.
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Physical space needs to be respected. If your partner wants to chill on the sofa after work without spooning or sitting on your knee - let them! There's a time and place for everything.

25. Inability to communicate openly and honestly

If your relationship is built on lies, it's likely to crumble once the truth comes out. Whether it's one big lie or lots of little fibs, this will negatively impact your relationship and could create a huge distance between you.
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It's probably time to admit that you might not last, as sad as it is, it's probably for the best for everyone!

26. One partner being overly critical or judgmental towards the other

Some people are the type that cannot help but constantly pick at their partner, always pulling them up on things and criticising them. When this is happens, it's sure to damage the connection in the relationship.
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If your partner is always putting you down, it's time to walk away. Nobody needs that.

27. Difficulty accepting each other's flaws or imperfections

It may come as a surprise, but nobody is perfect. Relationships are about loving and respecting the other person for who they truly are, not who you want them to be.
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Don't lose self-confidence about things that someone else doesn't like about you, you can find someone who will love your flaws!

28. Lack of respect for each other's friends or family

It's well known that people can find their in-laws difficult from time to time. But a person's family is often important to them and can be a touchy subject - especially if you don't get on with them!
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Even if you don't like their family, do try to get on with them as much as you can. Make a big effort and things will be alot easier.

29. Feeling that the relationship has become stagnant or unexciting

The secret to long-lasting, fulfilling relationships is to keep things exciting. Of course, over time, how this looks is likely to change. But if two people simply co-exist together boredom will easily creep in.
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Try to make time for date nights and fun things that will nourish a relationship. Routine is good, but you can go be a bit adventurous now and again.

30. Too much change or sacrifice for the relationship

Whilst compromise is a necessity, somebody shouldn't have to sacrifice their whole life to fit another person in. If a person is having to leave their family, friends, or something highly important to them behind for their partner, it could lead to resentment.
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Don't lose yourself just for the sake of your relationship. If you feel you are, it might be time to move on.

31. They won't give you a straight answer on plans

As a happy couple, you should be easily making plans together - at the very least having equal amounts of enthusiasm about doing so.
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Make sure you're not the one making all the effort - it takes two to build a strong relationship. If there's no effort, there's nothing!

32. They take ages to answer messages

This all depends on the circumstances, of course - they might have a job that sees them working busy hours and they're not allowed their phone on them.
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Don't get too caught up in replies straight away, after all, we all lead busy lives, but if it's something that's bothering you, speak to your partner.

33. You don't have those 'deep' conversations

Good communication in a relationship is about more than honestly discussing your feelings and emotions - it's also about talking about the big things.
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Deep conversations can be awkward, but they are always worth having! They help to get to know your partner so much better.

34. You don't get excited to see their name pop up on your phone

If you're happy with someone, it's a good thing to see their name pop up on your phone - you're excited to read their messages, even if it's just a 'good morning', or you're happy to take their call.
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In a long term relationship, you might not get super excited every time, but you will still be happy to hear from your partner.

35. You realize you're pretending everything is better than it is to others

When you're struggling in a relationship, it can often be difficult to face up to it - or you might be too proud to want others to know you're having problems in your 'perfect' setup.
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Don't put on a brave face to your friends, tell them really how your relationship is going. They might be able to offer advice.

36. There's something else keeping you together

A lot of couples can stay together because of something either they need to factor in - usually, this is children or pets. Have you realized that if it wasn't for this other thing, you probably wouldn't be with this person?
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You should never want to leave a relationship but feel compelled to stay with them just because of the consequences. If you want to leave, leave.

37. You avoid going to bed

You're doing everything you can to avoid going to bed and hopefully 'accidentally' falling asleep on the couch instead. This can be because either you're worried about physical intimacy.
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Never dread going to bed with your partner. That means something is seriously wrong.

38. You realize you've been making excuses on your partner's behalf

Oftentimes, we can be in denial about what our partners are doing wrong because we're trying to convince ourselves it's not that bad.
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Dig deep and think 'should I really be excusing them?' Always call out behavior that you are not happy with.

39. They could be right next to you and they feel so far away

Closeness in a relationship is about more than physical proximity - if they're right next to you on the couch, do they feel a million miles away?
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This can happen with time if you don't put the effort in. It can happen if you don't communicate with your partner too.

40. One word answers

If you ask them a question - any question, no matter how deep or important - do they only ever give you one word answers? One word answers are difficult to work with and don't give you much to go off.
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Address the issue, and if it's still not working out, it's probably the case that it's not going to last.

41. They don't get angry or upset anymore

This one is a huge sign - because even though it's difficult when you're having shouting matches, them being angry or showing any emotion is a sign that they care.
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They haven't had the courage to leave the relationship, so it's probably time that you plucked up the bravery to end things yourself.

42. You don't fight, it's overly polite!

On top of not getting angry or emotional, it's also worse if you're overly polite to each other - almost as if you're strangers exchanging polite pleasantries as you pass each other in the kitchen.
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If small talk is the only talk you're getting and you're just waaay too nice to each other, time to move on.

43. You feel obligated to spend time with them

You should never feel obligated to spend time with your partner. Sure, they'll be times when you might have to compromise and feel obliged to do something. It's not a healthy way to live and it needs to be addressed.
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If you find yourself coming up with excuses that you don't want to be spending time together, move on quickly!

44. The quirks you once found cute aren't anymore

When you first meet someone and fall for them, all those little quirks they have are the cutest thing you've ever seen - it makes you fall even more in love with them!
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If you find yourself getting annoyed over completely harmless things, your relationship is on its last legs and it needs to be ended.

45. And you've got the 'ick'

Ah, the ick. It's what people in relationships dread because it can suddenly change everything, in a matter of seconds. Something your partner does might have suddenly changed everything you thought about them...
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Are you feeling the ick way too often? Argh. It's a sign your relationship is on rocky ground - uh oh!

46. You find yourself holding back on things you want to talk about

Honest communication is important in a relationship, and you should never hold anything back - but you may have found yourself just not bothering to talk about certain things anymore.
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If you find yourself holding back on things you want to talk about and your partner just isn't helping or making things worse, it's time.

47. When they make comments about dating other people

Okay, so it might not be as obvious as 'I want to date other people' because that's obviously an issue, but they might have started dropping hints or observations about the dating pool...
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Thinking about dating other people probably isn't that uncommon, but when your partner actually voices it? Whole different ball game!

48. They aren't the first person you want to share things with anymore

Your significant other should usually be the first person you want to share everything with, good or bad. They're the first person you call after a promotion, or after something devasting just happened on your favorite TV show.
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... and it's a sign that your relationship is starting to falter. It's sad but you just can't ignore it.

49. You find them checking out when you're talking

Do their eyes glaze over? Do you see them looking across the room, or maybe even committing that mortal sin, picking up their phone and scrolling while they're talking?
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Once or twice is fine, but if it keeps happening, time and time again. He's just NOT worth the time.

50. When it gets easier to stay away

Usually, couples who are apart for a few days will miss each other, counting the days until they're together again. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
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If you're apart and you're just not bothered, at all, it's definitely a sign that you need to have a chat with your partner about where this is going...